Ok, so I've posted on here before, my ex was a complete mess endangered me and the kids etc.. I finally have full custody, she has them every other weekend and one night a week, for a dinner visit (basically from when they get off the bus till 6/7) and for counseling appointments she's allowed to take them.

So here's my issues:

  1. House hasn't been fully legally dealt with (although she has agreed to sign it over, and I've pretty much gotten my part done. She's been dragging her part out (big surprise) - I'm not too worried about it, it'll get dealt with, but it goes into my other issues.
  2. So randomly when she's feeling up for it and the kids nor I are home she'll stop at the house and clean/re-arrange things, (although she usually texts if she'll be stopping in. All the while saying she just wants to help, and wants to help keep it nice for the kids. (I do keep the house clean, but I will admit I don't "prettify / decorate it, putting it into that almost display type home, which she does" - Am I being too overly sensitive about this
    1. A big chunk of my relationship with the ex was her manipulating things to get her way. I know she wants to spend as much time as possible with the kids.
    2. But I also feel like her 1-2x weekly re-arranging and popping in and cleaning, etc is a way for her to control/keep an eye on the house/me/kids.
      1. Partly I think this is because she doesn't function well enough to work FT, she might someday, but not today, so I think she's bored. And figures it's a way to help for now.
    3. My kids are young, (7,9,14)
  3. When it's her weekend most of the time she wants to stay at my house with the kids. As she has no place of her own, ie. no job, and mental/physical functional issues (which she's working on, maybe in a year or two she'll be better off). She's living with her parents, who live about 1/2 hr away, and the kids don't like staying there for the weekend too much.
    1. I end up going down to my parents who are an hour away for the weekend, which I don't mind spending time with them, but almost every other weekend me leaving my own home.
    2. I've mentioned it before of me staying home and her just picking the kids up for the day, and I get a response back that I'm just trying to get more time with the kids or trying to take her time away from her.

So I'm sure most of you will say man up tell her not to be at your house, etc.. But till I get her to sign over the house I'm sort of stuck, as she's on the deed. So any suggestions on either how I can convince her, or a better solution.

At least for awhile she won't have her own place, considering she can't hold a job as of yet. She isn't allowed to be left alone with the kids, or drive the kids. (To put it simply she did a lot of things that were questionable, and a lot of things with her health that have made her unreliable in taking care of herself / let alone kids.)