So I met with my lawyer the other day. His basic Q was, is she still alive.. lol (and shit she is)

My ex has dragged out the divorce for almost 6 years now... From begging to stay together for a bit as she needed to be on my medical.. As she had several severe almost death encounters.. (100% all her own doing) to covid hitting, courts closing, and three of her lawyers dieing....

So I've been working with my lawyer to get stuff done, primarily the house.

My kids and I have lived in it for all 6 years. Ex has never paid for any of it or the utilities, I mean she's barely kept a job. She spent half the time living at her parents, and the last 2 years at a place her parents bought for her.

Meanwhile I've paid 90K in the mortgage of the house, and the house itself has gone up by almost 100K ontop of that.

My lawyer is telling me that my ex is entitled to half of all of it. Okay, but this is supposed to be based off of when we filed (6 years ago) yes. But apparently even though she left (her decision on the divorce (in the begging, I just won't take her back now) ), and I've had the kids primarily all 6 years, and paid for everything for them, and the house. So technically they could count back all my payments... But since she hasn't been living here, she's entitled to equal living spaces?

So I may end up paying her over 100K simply because she's been able to drag the divorce out for years, and if possible she will continue to drag it out for another 10-20 years.

She probably should be on disability but refuses to go that route.

I'm just wondering is this marital standard of living? /equal standard of living whatever... how Fd am I...

I mean my lawyer was basically like, because of all her continuing medical issues... If she passes away in the next few years (I doubt it, and I don't want anyone hurt/dead. I mean 6 out of 7 days of a week she isn't/can't eat right, like throw up etc.. and 3 -4 days a week she barely sleeps many times not at all.

He was kinda like is it worth it to pay her off, take half my pension, half of the house. (Besides the 40K I spent on paying off credit card bills out of my original retirement, that was supposed to make us square and she'd sign off on the house, which after I paid everything off. Has basically told me that it won't hold up in court as she'll deny it. ) And that it's not her problem. Oh and that she still loves me and wants me back.. Yeah I'd leave the state if it wasn't for the kids being in school here.