Can anyone relate to this?

Known_Paramedic_2967 · 2025-07-26T11:07:02+00:00

This happened to me for over 30 years. I finally discovered that she had an affair with her best friend’s husband. We have been divorced for almost 1 year. I do have the feelings stated in the video. How do I overcome them now? What has worked for others?

Lugubrious_Lothario · 2025-07-12T14:47:48+00:00

Yup, I know the playbook well. The work my ex did on me undermined my self esteem, my emotional wellbeing, my career, my friendships -- everything that wasn't in direct service to her and her unfillable void.

We separated about three and a half years ago and I'm still picking up the pieces, and still recovering from her abuse. I lost everything in my emancipation from her, I left with nothing, and a career that I had allowed to stagnate while trying to serve her needs.

I've only recently started dating again and it's been tough because I am extremely gun shy now. I see the little signs the video mentions and my heart and mind closes off to that person; I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than spend another day as an emotional slave.

I have serious doubts that I will ever marry again, or even have another serious relationship for that matter. I just see the cost as too high, and I'm not talking about the financial damage a divorce does, but purely the psychological burden of being an emotional support to someone who hasn't done serious work to understand themselves, who will never be whole.

Title	Can anyone relate to this?
Author	Azazl187
Upvotes	7
Comments	5
Date	July 12, 2025 1:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ly0x3l/can_anyone_relate_to_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/can-anyone-relate-to-this.1556947 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556947

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