We are approaching the final stages of divorce, but have not yet done much with the courts. So actually early in process, despite years of negotiations. We now have lawyers and costs are getting significant.

Anyway, my question is surrounding child custody and schooling in particular.

As a family unit we had purchased a home in a distant suburban ("exurb") community, and I commuted daily to work (~75+ minutes), while she worked flexible hours and various locations as a contract employee. With COVID and the pending divorce, she moved to her folks place which was another hour away and even a bit further from my work. We split custody roughly 50/50 initially, and I maintained the marital home.

However, as the 2020 academic year began, we sent kids to in-person school (2020 Fall) near HER parent's residence. The district we had lived in was now doing remote learning, while the distant option allowed the kids to be in-person > this worked well so we could both work. SHE had begun re-training to a post-covid career selling insurance.

Lot's of nuance, but for the 2021 Fall year, it was also determined the kids would stay at the more distant school near her parent's residence. We sold the suburban home, and I moved closer to my work. I have kids on weekends and she has them during the school week Mon p.m. to Fri a.m., much like the previous year. I do all the pick ups and drop offs, which is about 2.5 hour round trip. Going back pre-COVID i have a record of taking kids to all extra-curriculars and being very involved with home-work and school communications etc., but that has been more limited for these 2 years.

Neither of us WANT the kids in this remote district long term.

I'd prefer to have them closer to where I am now, and would be happy to take them during the school week for as long as needed to get us both established in this community with goal of 50/50 split. However SHE is insistent on getting back to the original suburban district. My concern is that my ability to parent effectively is hindered with the longer commute, the calculus being different as a single dad.

If this goes to court > how much standing does she have as being the M-Fri parent for 2 yrs? Is she likely to be able to take them (2nd/5th grade now) back to the district she chooses, or can I get the kids with me in the district that is closer to my work.

Her new position is largely remote. The schools in "my" district are among the best in the area. However, the kids have friendships (2-3 years removed) in the suburban area. I really want to do what is best for everyone, and feel strongly that my ability to be present will be adversely affected...