I’m about 6.5 months into the divorce process and dealing with the continuous trauma from my stbx’s cheating, lying, and trauma she’s giving our child by well not being a mother and dealing with the fallout and emotions my 2.5 year old has about it. She’s constantly trying to avoid responsibility and will blame it on “oh I have this church function or oh I didn’t realize I had this church event.” I can soon request a decree and the divorce be finalized as a solid step.

They say don’t date for a while and while it’s quite lonely at times it’s certainly true. I talked to a lady for a little but stopped because I’m nowhere near ready. I’m just so disillusioned about marriage now. I’m Christian and always wanted a wife/kids/family and now that it’s gone because “the devil made her do it.” (I can at least say she couldn’t manipulate back into the relationship with that lie amongst others.)

Now that I’ve gone through all this I just don’t know how to look at marriage the same. Like I’m somehow supposed to think it’ll all be okay knowing that shit can hit the fan at any time. Not all women are the same but man it’s fucking traumatic.