I've been separated for over 4 years. Papers arrived last week from Australia for me to sign here in the USA after having lived in Australia for most of the last 20 years. I'm good wth the papers. I don't miss her. It does dawn on me how much time I wasted with this person (22 years) and if I ever even really knew her.

The worst part is the kids. I've worked out of a home office but had been a stay at home Dad for my twin girls when they were born 17 years ago. They lived about 200 yards away from me in Melbourne (with my now 13 year old boy) and I have seen them once in the past 3 years. I gave them everything I had. They've been to probably 20 countries. All of the love and support I had. I coached them at basketball, volunteered at their schools and got them involved in a local sports club.

They don't call or write emails. There's nothing at all. Someone could be forgiven for thinking that I abused these kids for the way I'm being treated. I never hit them. I never even raised my voice. And I didn't leave them or cheat on my ex. Full disclosure: I did something that was harmful only to myself. It's astonishing to me that this is happening. My girlfriend can't believe that anyone could behave this way and last week after 3 years together she asked me if I was hiding something or in denial. What a betrayal. I half suspect that she did it to make me end things as I left her overseas after we were on and off.

My relationship with my children is over, I think. It doesn't help that they live 10,000 miles away. It's hard to muster positive thoughts at this stage.