Tldr at the bottom i guess.....i'm at the end of my rope. I think I need to get divorced. Its "till death do us part" but my marriage died a long time ago and I'm basically dead inside so I want to call it close enough. But there's that little voice in my head reminding me....nobody wanted anything to do with me before, nobody wants anything to do with me now. I have no friends, no family, no hobbies, no time. Not for lack of trying either, people don't enjoy being around me? They laugh and we're all having a good time everybody wants to get together again then just poof.....nothing.

I don't want to die alone but I'm 32 (look anywhere from 30 if somebodys trying to be nice up to about 40), already balding, overweight (29% body fat), and physically/mentally broken. Then on top of that probably soon to be divorced and homeless with 2 kids? Real catch right?

So I stay. I don't want to ruin my kids lives but then again I know from experience what this kind of household does to kids. I'm already alone, there's no support no love not even a good roommate.

So I should go? Where? And do what? Be a hermit in the woods? Wait to die? I know I'm spiraling but I know what I'm like and what I look like. Nobody wants to be around me. Hell my own family only calls to ask for money, when i need a parent i call my mother in law. I feel like I'm halfway through a movie I already saw so I know the ending and it's no good. People keep telling me I'm nice and helpful and so good at this and that and such a good dad so why can't I get people to talk to me?

So tldr I guess, full circle, does it get better? Am I just feeding off the constant rejection of the only person that willingly became contractually obligated to care about me and painting myself into a corner? Is there a dating app for rejected garbage? Should I just make it easy for everybody and suck it up?