Fed up dad looking for advice

redveinlover · 2017-04-12T15:20:33+00:00

Do not stick it out. I am going through a divorce myself, married 12 years, have kids age 5&7. The child will see your messed up relationship and will grow up thinking it is healthy and normal, or they will grow up thinking you and your wife are unhappy and it may somehow be their fault. Do what's best for you, and what will make you happy. Good luck with joint custody.

Handsy6776 · 2017-04-12T20:09:00+00:00

Definitely act now. I'm 6 months into my mostly amicable separation with my wife. My 2 kids are absolutely fine. As long a you both have you child as your top priority then no harm will come to him. I absolutely believe I'm a better dad since I left. I do more with them now than ever before. It's better for your child to have two happy, separated parents than 2 miserable, married parents. All the best my friend, life is for living.

come_on_sense_man · 2017-04-24T21:08:31+00:00

I am in the same boat partner my wife is an ungrateful mean spirited selfish bitch. The thing is while I want to divorce her I don't want my 1 year old son to be raised by her with visits with me on the weekends. Someone has to protect him from her awfulness.

UrbanSolace · 2017-04-27T15:10:15+00:00

Hey brother. I'm a father of a 9 year old an and 7 year old daughter. My X and I were married for 10 damn years when she hit me with the divorce. It was finalized in February and this has been without a doubt the most stressful time of my life. She refused to go to counseling and became just an robot that lacked all emotions.

The worst part for me was having to tell my children that mom and dad would be getting a divorce and that we would not all be staying under the same roof. Through this whole ordeal I made sure that I communicated to them what exactly was going to happen. Children adapt quite well when they are given the truth in a calm/relaxed conversation. I'd just feed them tid bits of information while dropping them off or picking them up from school.

Your kiddo is way younger so i know our situations aren't exactly the same but the emotional impact as fathers is. I went through all the stages of a death it seems and those feelings nagged me every minute of the day for months. I reached out on Reddit as well asking if these feelings ever improve and guess what? They do! The divorce was as finalized and she was the only one to have "lawyered up." She walked away with 50k of my 401k, a brand new 2016 Jeep Wrangler, and half of everything I owned. I get to see my kids every other weekend by law but my X let's me see my kids more often than that thankfully. We were never bad parents and both refuse to keep our kiddos from each other.

So now I've finally calmed down enough that I have gotten off my antidepressants and cut down on my drinking. I've lost 30lbs since I started eating right and taking care of myself. The only thing I can promise you is that things will get better. DM me if you ever feel like venting to someone who has been there. It helped me.

DankAndDumb · 2017-05-04T22:28:08+00:00

Not that it means much for me, but just got a biased judge off my case..believe the rumors you hear about judges, mine were all true, she was terrible.

thum169 · 2017-04-14T05:56:54+00:00

Ive been married for almost 6 years. We have a 5 year old. During our first year of marriage, I cheated on her with a one night stand. I got caught and we've never been able to move forward. We did counseling and it seemed like we both wanted the same thing. However, she continued to struggle with trust and intimacy. I know I created this insecure person of her. Which is why I felt guilty for asking her for a divorce today. I just can't continue to feel like the bad guy.

Triballone · 2017-04-17T18:46:07+00:00

I got dry marriage too, im thinking of ending it so often. Same as some of the reasons above no sex, yelling dramas and such things. We are living in her family house on different floors from her parents she just cant stop goin to them for whatever. She is always making huge dramas from little things...this is driving out of my skin. She is doctor and always working till some late parts of the day. She pretends that she is making money and dont have even time for house works, going out for dinner or just on walk. Im holding my nerves from explosion 1 year already. The last thing that broke my nerves so hard was her claim that she doesnt need any friends or some social life outside her work...im feeling so fucking alone and desparate, no matter I live with people its just like living in shell. I would like to hear some advices please. Thanks in advance.

UrbanSolace · 2017-04-27T15:11:35+00:00

Oh and don't stick it out. You'll hate yourself later for doing that and could possibly hurt the kiddo more by doing so

Title	Fed up dad looking for advice
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	17
Date	April 12, 2017 11:11 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/64xhdz/fed_up_dad_looking_for_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/fed-up-dad-looking-for-advice.820514 https://theredarchive.com/post/820514

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