I feel ok for hours on end planning my soon to be single future (new apt, dog, new gym near the apt) and then I get really fucking bummed out thinking that its over/moving elsewhere in just a few weeks when the house sells/closes. Whats worse is that we now talk/hang out more/laugh than we did before we had the divorce talk. I take 99% blame for this (should have went on meds/therapy a long time ago…now doing both and I feel great mentally…180 degree turn around) although of course she admitted to an emotional affair (she “swears” no sex just texting and they kissed which was a fucking shit thing to do to me). I pretty much ghosted the relationship for the last 3 years and she got tired of trying to make it work. Id have a great streak of getting along and then go back to my old self. Since I started therapy, taking anti anxiety/depression meds its like a brand new me but she does not think it will last and shes emotionally spent. Im not under the impression we will have a rom com moment and reunite when we sign the divorce decree but its painful as fuck that she wouldn't try one more time. Until then I told her I loved her and still wanted a chance to try again all the way up to the end. Not sure if that makes me weak in her eyes or not but I left that out there for her. Im still the “new me”’and dont plan on changing back. Still smiling and being the best dad I can be. Im not gonna give her the pleasure of seeing me sulk.