Just got my divorce papers served. Wife moved out 5 weeks ago and took the 3 kids. She decided to only allow me supervised visits with her and her dad around. There is no court order, but she is trying to say I am emotionally abusive and unstable of course. However children are extremely attached to mom since she was the SAHM caretaker. But usually after our visits they want to either go with me or me come to their house (staying with STBXW’s parents house). And I’ve not wanted to cause a scene and allowed my wife to take them. I am also not welcome at her parents house so make up a lame excuse to the kids that I have to go feed the dogs and maybe I will come later. Prior to each visit she texts me “and don’t try to take them home.” Bitch.

However, one time at the park, one daughter wanted to go home with me really bad and I was fed up with my wife’s bullshit, so I took her. Wife freaked out. Called the cops who ofc didn’t do anything. But she came to my house a couple hours later and got the kid back.

She is not reasonable on visitation whatsoever and not respecting my parenting rights. I text and try to arrange visits and she barely makes an effort. I found out her lawyer advised her to make an effort to give me just 2hrs/week. So I suspect it could look bad for her if she denies me visitation. She filed weeks ago and has been plotting. Since the park incident a week ago, she doesn’t respond at all to me and I know her strategy is to keep the kids from me entirely until the TO hearing in 3 weeks.

At this point there is probably no way to force her to let me see the kids. I’m sure that she would get a restraining order and claim DV if I showed up where she is staying and tried to pick them up. My best bet would be to run into them at church or somewhere I know they will be and just see if kids want to go with me. Ofc that may also lead to falsified DV claims. I just want to see my kids.

But my question is, will her refusal to allow reasonable visitation look bad in court? Will her leaving the marital home and taking kids look bad? Maybe I can get “make up” time? Should I keep trying to text her and request talking to or seeing the kids (all under 8) to show I am trying to be a dad or not bother until hearing. She is trying to get primary custody, kick me out of the house, and screw me as much as possible. I am going for joint custody, stay in the house and screw her. I am learning all about what it will take to fight the uphill battle of winning joint custody as a dad. I am in TX at least.

Also she got a CPS case ruled against me for emotional abuse of one daughter which I am currently appealing and is hopefully dropped before the trial. The case is closed and CPS took no action but ruled “reason to believe.” The other thing she has on my me is recently I was sick with pneumonia for months, got so depressed and said I felt like KYS one time. She will use this against me 100%. So also trying to show I am doing therapy and all that and I am fine, which I am.

Any general advice for how to win joint custody is appreciated as well. We had a traditional division of labor with her a SAHM and me working, and I realize I will have to change my habits and involve myself in all their day to day stuff like school and doctors visits, etc. to show I am worthy of JC. In the end maybe I will lose anyway.

But she is insane and not good for the kids to be around so much. She has been depressed and gone to therapy for years. She makes them all anxious like her. I know my kids will benefit for me being more active in their lives.