I’ve finally managed to almost get over my ex. I’m the one that ended things, but I remained madly in love with her for over a year. She hurt me in ways I never thought possible, and I know that it was the best thing to do for myself and for my daughter.

I’m on the higher functioning end of the autism spectrum, and I was never good at hook up culture even before I met ex in my early 20’s. I just can’t separate the act of sex from feelings of love; and I’ve never been interested in sex with someone unless I had genuine feelings of deep attraction to them, beyond looks and physical attributes. I’ve been told there’s a term, “demisexual” that applies to that, but idk and that’s a different story.

Any woman that I’ve gotten close to in the last few months has passed over me to the next guy, and I assume it has something to do with me not “making a move” fast enough. One of the things that made me fall for ex was her intense interest in me - she truly made me feel special during a really tough time in my life, when it felt like I was being abandoned by all of my friends and family. Turns out that was a major red flag that I mistook for love. Now I have trouble trusting women in any capacity.

The dating scene has changed so much in the 12 years I’ve been gone. How do you actually find a connection with someone? Online dating is a dumpster fire, and trying to meet new people at the library/bar/restaurant etc feels almost dangerous now.

It’s just so scary to me. I thought I found the love of my life, and now she’s a stranger that’s on bf number 6 or 7 in less than a year. I don’t want sex and hookups, I want someone to spend my life with.