How to start off?

WartimeDad · 2020-12-26T06:09:01+00:00

Many, like my STBXW, start by going scorched-earth. I recommend that you not do that, as tempting as it may be. Right now it sucks for me, but I suspect in the end it will suck for her, and we both will have spent far too much money. Try mediation and any other tactic before lawyers. She might respond by going scorched earth on you. If so, at least you’ll live on knowing that it wasn’t you who did that, it was her. In the end, I get some solace from that. No matter how dark it gets now, I wasn’t on the “dark side” when it went down, although I could have been.

MyNewNormal808 · 2020-12-26T12:53:55+00:00

I recommend you get to know what’s involved with the divorce process in your state. My state offered a free divorce 101 session to go over the basic facts. The lawyer I chose gave me a more in depth explanation of what the process is. A lawyer will also be able to look at your situation and give you advise. For example I wanted 50/50 custody. My ex wanted me to only have every other weekend. My lawyer told me the judge will heavily weigh my teenage kids wishes. Due to Covid, the kids were staying primarily with the ex. Talking to them, they wanted to stay with their mom for the majority of the time. With thAt knowledge, I was able to negotiate with my ex for lower than state guidelines for child support. Good luck.

NoBr0c · 2020-12-26T04:20:11+00:00

Begin as you intend to finish.

I recommend trying not to turn it into a fight. Bring it up. Mention mediation as a way to solve the points you don’t agree on. After mediation, ask your own lawyer to review for their feedback. (Most mediators can produce a decree based on what you decide that a lawyer can review.)

Tis_Of_Thee · 2020-12-26T05:04:51+00:00

You need a plan before discussion with spouse. Interview lawyers first.

figbatdiggernickk · 2020-12-26T13:17:25+00:00

If nothing else, consult with a local divorce attorney. DO YOUR RESEARCH ON ATTORNEYS! You may have to spend more than you want, and the attorney may cost you more now, but its going to save you a TON in the long run.

AirSailer · 2020-12-26T17:32:22+00:00

Nothing will happen quickly, so not everything has to be decided immediately. Speak to a lawyer. Check the community info in this sub, it has a list of things you need to do, it is 100% worth the read.

Title	How to start off?
Author	Maxpowers09
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	December 26, 2020 3:20 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/kkbk24/how_to_start_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-start-off.817622 https://theredarchive.com/post/817622

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