36m and I’ve been in a relationship with my wife 32f for 9 years married for 7. We have 1 child 4f and I thought things were getting good. I’ve spent most of my career as a commercial fisherman in Alaska. However when my wife told me she was pregnant I made the choice of wanting to be a father instead of a absent one.

During this time I tried a couple different jobs and none of them paid very well. Then covid hit and as everyone knows this kind of made it hard for everyone’s lives.

Fast forward to last year I told my wife I’m going to get my class A CDL and drive truck for 1 year over the road and this will get us right on bills, credit, and give me the experience for a local job that pay’s pretty good. She was fully supportive of it and off I went to work. I’d visit once a month for a couple days and it was hard on me mentally because I didn’t want to be an absent father and here I was being one even if it was for a good cause.

Now 10 months later being in the road my wife is constantly fighting with me. She wasn’t taking care of the house, the kid, or herself. I’d come home and there would be weeks old cat boxes not cleaned or changed out. No food in the refrigerator even though I’m sending her money weekly and my kid looks unbaithed and sitting in dirty clothes. I tell my wife she needs to step it up and I’m told all I want is a subservient wife and that im a misogynist.

Last month she left me and it went something like this. It was midnight my time and I had to be up at 4am and was asleep. She called me and was fighting about how unhappy she is. I tell her im doing everything I can to the best of my ability but we agreed I had to be out here driving over the road to get ahead and that no local companies in my area hire with less that 1 years of experience because of insurance purposes. I also told her that she can’t be calling me when im sleeping because a tired truck driver is a huge problem on the road and could lead to someone dying if I doze off and crash. She gets pissed off and hangs up with me and starts to text. During the messages she goes on again how all I want is a subservient wife and that im a misogynist. I told my wife that we need marriage counseling and that I was going to screen shot this conversation and show it to the counselor. After that she said I was a sociopath and initiated a separation.

Immediately after telling me she was done she has a new boyfriend and he’s being brought around my daughter. The money I make currently would put me at child support of over $1100 a month. She wants spousal support of 20k over the next 2 years and she wants to keep 1 of the cars and 100% of the furniture and me taking in all of the debt currently at 72k. Im driving over the road so just about everything is already done. My things are packed and put in boxes outside of the home as I haven’t been home since the initial separation.

With this type of maintenance being im in a no fault state and this is standard for all divorce proceedings I won’t be able to survive moving jobs. Rent for a 2 bedroom in my area is 1600 a month. A typical local truck driving position in my area starts at 30$ a hour. That’s $5200 a month at 40 hours a week after taxes take home is typically around 3800-3900 and that’s blown immediately just between rent her and my daughter. Im told that once everything is locked in I can’t change support for up to 2 to 3 years because judges don’t accept cases any newer than that.

Im put in a position where im going to be forced to be a deadbeat dad and not see my little girl due to financial obligations to a I presume a cheating wife or risk going to jail for not paying my dues.

Im at a all time low and I don’t know what to do. I have another call with a lawyer in 2 days and will get more information but it doesn’t look good for me because im away from the state already.