If she won't quit drinking and go to rehab to save the marriage (2 to 4 handles of vodka a week) then she won't quit drinking to be an active parent in the kids lives. Even then she will double down, hide her drinking, ignore three separate court orders to not have any alcohol on the premises in any fashion, open containers in her vehicle, and then make wild accusations in filings for full legal and physical custody of the children. I have answers for all of them, good ones too, but it feels like I am constantly playing defense; it's exhausting.

The children don't want to live with her, I have the marital home, signed quit claim deed and all.

Have any of you ever felt like you just aren't angry enough? I mean I should be viscerally angry, enraged even and yet I'm this even keel, have to keep my head up because there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, but frankly at this point I can't tell of the light is an oncommung train or the end of the tunnel.