Not sure how to detail all this but I got divorced in the middle of 2023 with the ex wife leaving at the beginning of 2023. Pretty decent outcome other than the emotional aspect. We’ve got two kids together and they’ve been struggling a bit since.

My problem is I tried to go back to her towards the latter half of 2023. Then some fight happened and we stopped talking at the beginning of 2024. Well towards the middle of 2024 we tried again. Even went on a trip with our kids.

That last time I found some post of, what was a mutual friend, and her at a bar. She made some story about how they just met up and he was just there. Post was something like oh she’s a good friend or something. The dude is bisexual but means he still likes women.

Once again we started speaking a little over a month ago. She keeps telling idk if I want this I like to be alone. She dropped the ball that he invited her at some sports game. Still states he’s just a friend and he’s “pretty much gay “. AND she’s on a “girls trip” to go clubbing in Vegas and California. That she swears is just fun. I’m obviously not that dumb. We’re both 33 and have two kids.

I am such a stupid idiot and I have some sort of attachment issue or something. I really don’t know how to move past all this.

I’ve lost weight and gained muscle. I’m living a healthy, exercise focused lifestyle. I make much more than before and live a comfortable financial life. I’m going on a few trips with friends outside the country. I’m planning more solo trips/friend trips/dad trips. But don’t go out much local as not much friends are single or I kept contact with since it was just married life here.

Yet I still feel this “need” to get my family back. How I can get out of this mindset that’s either a scarcity mindset or an awful attachment issue. I’m seriously lost and want to know if any other dude knows what to do. To be honest I’m not necessarily really attracted to her it’s just this family thing that is messing with me.