Living together

2 points•1 comment•submitted by Proof_Ad_4105 to r/Separation

Separated for a week, not legally but living together. We have 2 small children 4 and 11 months. She wanted a real separation by me moving out on my own or she will take legal action to get me out in a certain amount of days so that we may have the “year” of separation needed. By the 4th day we are talking fine in the house walking with each other to pick up the 2 children from daycare/ preschool. I’m mainly the one dropping them off in the am to preschool/ daycare since it’s early and obviously I can’t sleep. When I leave the house for the day say work, I ask if she needs anything while I’m out/ or just let me know if anything comes to mind. I’m trying to be there for anything, but am I doing to much? For instance this past weekend(Saturday) was a 5year old birthday party I had planned to go to with the wife and our 4 year old and 11month. She got drunk the night before with a friend (no big deal) Saturday morning I’m up early with the kids doing my thing. Wife wakes up around 12:30pm starts to shower and get ready, I’m also getting the kids ready for the party which starts at 2pm. Finally everyone’s ready I shower get dressed. Wife’s like “hey” are you coming? I said “yeah” I planned to, she said “oh” you never talked about it all week my”friend was going to drive with me”. I was distraught the same damn friend who got drunk with her the night before. No big deal I continue to make sure this is going to go smooth I put the kids in the car and there items for the day. Wife grabs my forearm and says “thank you” while looking into my eyes. It was the first time we had physical contact in a week. They get home from the 5 year old birthday party and the girls start to drink again (no big deal) they had plans to do a girls (3 of them)day and take the boat out Sunday (I offered to watch the kids) she was planning on hiring a babysitter. All the girls are hungover in the am, I get home from working maybe 7am (knowing they have a boat day) I offer to help and basically get it all ready for them, 1 girl flakes and doesn’t wake up, the other she had to go to her house and wake her up. They had a good day on the water (she came back safe and the boat). I already moved out of our bed, I use a separate bathroom, I’m helping cooking and cleaning ( I have not cleaned there bathroom). We run a business together which we split, which some involves hands on sometimes, (I ask if she needs help/ or I just do it). We smile, we laugh, we talk, personal and business. I know it’s only been 9days but am I doing to much to get her back, like I want to hire a babysitter and take her to the movies and dinner. We haven’t been to the movies in 6 years. My insomnia is getting the best of me ( I’m working out at home) was even about to start some cardio). Am I doing to much/ ask her if she’s needing help? I’m going to continue to work on me if this divorce is inevitable. What brought me here is last night I saw in a folder order of protection paperwork unfilled out, and I started to hyperventilate. Although knowing she pick up that paperwork roughly 7 days ago when all of this went down.