Been married 8 years we were young I’m barely 31. We got married 3 months after the first time we met. We have 5 wonderful children and are a blended family 2 from my previous relationships on from hers and 2 together. Naturally the years have been rough since we didn’t really know each other and got married so soon. but we made it 8 years. Last year her female cousin moved in and that’s where it started really taking a dive.

Her cousin is lazy, doesn’t cook or clean, will sit around on her phone while her son cries for hours. Doesn’t do much for the son like change his pamper when it’s ready or really even try to put him on clothes, even if it’s rainy or cold out! I get home from work and they’ll leave and leave me with our kids and her son. My wife of course let’s me know but the cousin doesn’t tell me just leaves him there. It really heated up cause of the quarantine. My wife started day drinking with the cousin, getting high in the middle of day and hanging out with the local maintenance man who is a well know druggy that the cousin made “friends” with.

I had previously asked her to ask her cousin to move next door to my mother in laws since that’s where she was originally supposed to stay. She’s made it clear on several occasions if I didn’t like her cousin there I could leave. Her cousin is mean to my oldest daughter from a previous relationship and in turn my wife started becoming more hostile to my daughter as well. After a heated fight She finally told me she hasn’t loved me in months wanted a divorce and asked me to leave. I’ve heard it a milllion and one times never leave the home as that’s seen as abandoning your family. But I left and let her know I place the blame on her cousin for causing so much tension in our marriage.

Her cousins mother had the same problem with her and her causing a lot of friction in her marriage for the exact same reasons The cousins mother told me the day she moved in with us it was a bad idea. My mother in law, brother in laws have recently told me the same. So I let my wife know they had told me that the day we separated After the heat of the day dies down she told me she does love me and maybe we need time apart to work on ourselves and we can see what the future holds. But the cousin went through our conversation and saw me tel her what her own family told me about her. She goes and asks the family and of course all of the family denies it and says I’m lying. I’m not sure if at this point I should just call it quits and work on myself for the sake of myself or if I should work to be the husband she wants me to be

(I was very much a temperamental person after the stress of the workday and the stress of having 2 extra mouths to feed and take care of)