need some advice. need to vent. all that.

me (32m) and my wife (31f) have two daughters (18mos and 5yo) together. we’ve been married for 6 years. we originally got married cause she got fired from her job when she was pregnant with our first daughter and I wanted her to have insurance. we love each other but our relationship has always struggled. I’ve cheated and she has too but not to the extent that I have. she hasn’t consistently paid any real bills in our entire relationship. she’s never paid for rent/mortgage or utilities but she’ll cover an extracurricular or two for the kids. I work two full time jobs but I’ve done it for so long that it’s kinda been normalized, which sucks cause it truly is mentally exhausting. I am an absolute phenomenal father. everyone knows it around us. I get up and take the kids to school everyday, I coach my oldest’s basketball team, I show up at every event, have great relationships with teachers and do doctor visits. so before our second child, my wife was a phenomenal mother but since our second came, while she is still good, its not the same which requires more from me. this is cool with me, I love being a dad but it’s worth noting since I cover us financially as well. I’m also very domestic (raised by all women) so I clean and cook, I decorate for holidays, I buy all the girls clothes, etc etc. she definitely cooks more cause that’s one of her passions and she fuckin great at it. alright, that’s context.

my wife and I have been on a rough path for a solid 18 months, like right when our youngest was born. (she read some messages in my phone, cheating) so it’s been a rough year and she’s done her dirt since then as well. we aren’t perfect, I get it.

so this past Tuesday, I drove 4 hours away to get surgery. I went by myself and she stayed back with the kids. she doesn’t reach out at all the day of the surgery, it really hurt me tbh. she’s being very short all week, barely letting me talk to the kids and I’m like damn, she must be filing. she’s fasho over us. it sucks all week. I come home Friday and she’s left with the girls. I’m fuckin losing it. I’m calling her, calling her mom, calling my parents, everything. she just keeps saying, “the girls are safe and with me.” she is fuckin crushing me. like wtf. my girls. these are my fuckin kids man. my only biological family I’ve ever known. Friday night and Saturday was so fuckin hard. crying my eyes out, texting her, calling her, I’m losing it. she says, “the girls are safe and all communication and arrangements will go thru my legal team.” blah more emotions, etc etc.

she’s making me play hard ball and I didn’t want to so I hire a lawyer today and I’m gonna fill an emergency custody motion asap.

my wife attempted to unalive herself 4 months ago. I had to call the police and she was taken to a psych ward so it’s all on record. she’s gonna claim abuse but she’s not a battered woman of any sort. like I don’t beat my wife yall. I’m tall and muscular, my voice carries, I’m dominant. I have grabbed things out of her hands before but never punched, slapped, pushed, shoved, etc to her. I have punched a wall or two before as well. there’s no documentation of any domestic violence or abuse.

what is gon happen with this shit yall? how does this play out? my wife makes significantly less than me but I work two jobs and we’ve never had shared accounts. so there’s no marital account. the house I got built for us is two years old and I’m on the loan by myself but she’s on the deed.

thoughts? advice?