Need some advice

kupalkayoredditmods · 2021-08-01T04:59:24+00:00

Consultva lawyer now. You can get paternity test even if the child is not born yet. Try to get full custody of your kids as you stbxw will not be able to look after them once her baby is born.

akihonj · 2021-08-01T09:35:08+00:00

No you cannot be added to any birth certificate without your consent, also be prepared to find that she has and demand a DNA test if that happens.

File for divorce and site the adultery and pregnancy by another man, that will nullify any claim she has or would make to place you on any birth certificate.

Further down the line though I'd say you're going to have bigger issues, namely her attempts to get you to look after the child when you have your own two.

Remember she chose the affair and chose to get pregnant you are not liable for anything to do with that child, if you have no interest in that child and God only knows why you would, you can and should refuse to accept anything to do with that child.

Of course there will be many who will say that this is cruel towards the child, however from a legal perspective any parental role you accept in that child's life, especially if the real father cannot be found, renders you potentially liable for financially supporting that child.

The courts will come down hard on you as well, they'll see it as you playing a punishment game, to hurt the mother but happy to play daddy to the child and get away without support for the child.

Given that when you have your kids refuse to even acknowledge the existence of the other child, if anybody raises an issue you state clearly and calmly that it is not your child and not your responsibility.

25_years · 2021-08-01T13:54:00+00:00

To make your time with your lawyer shorter and more productive, try to do some research first. Find out if Maryland has "at-fault" divorce as well as "no-fault".

"No-fault" is just what it sounds like; no one is at fault. But it probably has the one-year separation clause you're asking about. She could easily get alimony with a no-fault divorce. It wouldn't matter if she cheated because, again, no one is at fault. These types of divorces are more common.

"At-fault" requires hard evidence, which you'll get via DNA when the baby is born. In some states, being "at fault" means the cheating spouse is not entitled to alimony. At-fault divorces tend to be more complicated and costly.

I would research these two divorce types. When you talk to a lawyer, hopefully you'll already be up-to-speed and understanding your choices.

Good luck, brother. It's a shitty place you're in. Sorry. Chin up.

SlainFunicle · 2021-08-01T17:47:41+00:00

You should do dna test on the other 2 kids plus the baby, and divorce right away do not wait else you will be on the hook for child support

CHEPO1966 · 2021-08-01T11:56:41+00:00

I think that with what he did to you, you should immediately contact a lawyer, try to see the possibility of staying with your children, if they are yours, do a DNA test, it is totally necessary, leave the house and cut all communication with She, just talk the essential, referring to the children, she was planning to leave you, if the other guy wanted, now she had to go back to plan B, which is you, maybe I thought you were stupid, and you would accept, stay with her, and then your AP returns, AND LEAVES YOU.
Maybe someone will try to convince you, but the pain can be terrible, as long as you see the child, who is not at fault, he will remind you that you were a fool for accepting such betrayal, and with the fear that he will return to AP and leave you or I changed you for another type, cheats never change, total, she would say, if you accepted one, because you cannot accept two,
GET OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, SHE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU, MARRIED SO A LITTLE TIME AND IS ALREADY FUCKING OTHERS, SHE DOES NOT RESPECT OR YOUR CHILDREN, I DESTROY YOUR FAMILY, MAYBE I TELL YOU, BECAUSE AT BIRTH YOU WOULD KNOW, IMMEDIATELY,

pegleg_legal · 2021-08-02T02:11:12+00:00

The presumption is that you are the father under most laws so you better get on that shit.

ThrowAwayRAOoops · 2021-08-02T16:20:10+00:00

Lawyer, ASAP.

File, ASAP (probably can't get out of the 1 year waiting period but you need that to start ASAP and she either has to be served or voluntarily acknowledge it to start the 1 year waiting period).

Do not move out until you have a custody arrangement in place. Once she's had the baby (on her own) she won't be able to care for your kids as well so in your custody plan account for the fact that they will be with you MORE and that child support should be adjusted accordingly during that time. Once she is able (assuming she's willing) to take a more 50/50 situation you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

Maryland is no-fault - her affair doesn't matter to the court. Make sure the child isn't yours, take care of your own - try not to harm the innocent offspring of your STBXW's poor choices.

Google Grey Rock, do that as best you can. Take the emotion out of it - it won't help you - it'll only hurt you. Find a therapist to talk to during this time as that will help you. Find friends you can trust.

laxplaya25 · 2021-08-02T16:39:10+00:00

Thanks for the replies, I have a consultation with a lawyer this afternoon.

Title	Need some advice
Author	laxplaya25
Upvotes	11
Comments	8
Date	August 1, 2021 3:38 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ovkzlk/need_some_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-some-advice.816355 https://theredarchive.com/post/816355

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