Need your thoughts

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-11-18T00:16:23+00:00

"How do you guys cope with this loneliness and lack of purpose in life ?"

Here is what I do - Stay busy:

I go to work everyday.
I run 5km everyday.
I walk 4km everyday.
I pray (Jesus) and forgive my enemies (my ex-wife who accused me of rape and didn't let me see my kids).

Message me if you want to talk. But remember, you're not alone. Majority of men going through the same thing:

50% of ALL marriages end in divorce.
80% of divorce/separation is initiated by the wife.
90% of all custody is awarded to women.

pegleg_legal · 2021-11-18T01:11:46+00:00

I think one of the first steps, which you've already taken, is to realize how your culture and society train your brain to view a woman, and more importantly, how having or not having a woman (or getting divorced as another example) affects your value as a human being and a man. In truth and reality, whether you have or do not have a mate does not affect your value as a man and as a human being. You were single once and can be single again. Use the time between now and when your child grows up to prepare for the eventual reunion as, even if their mind has been poisoned, they will come to the realization just by mere curiosity to know more about you.

She cannot define your purpose, only you can do that.

Gattsama · 2021-11-18T02:41:08+00:00

Hey man, sorry... Short version, recognize you have been lied too. Release everything that has been programmed by society, and build a new / better you.

Society tries to use shame and reward to get men to believe in a certain system that is CLEARLY against their own self interests. They use shame: he is single, he is gay, he can't get pussy, he is weak, when will you grow up, I wasn't a real man until I was a father, etc. etc. To make you feel horrible about yourself.

Then they use rewards: he is so happy now, I became a real man when I became a father, I feel pride for providing for my family, etc. to remove the shame that THEY created in you.

It can be a hard journey, but you need to unplug from all that. And the best way to do that is to focus on YOU and ONLY YOU. That doesn't mean being a selfish a&&hole. It means asking this question: what is the greatest version of me. Decided what you need to do to make that happen, then doing that instead.

If you do not know what that person would look like (because the question outside of the social programming has never been asked) then start with:

Best physical you can be: exercise. This helps with depression, improves your mood, your fitness and can help with discipline. Make a consistent workout program. Nothing too heavy, doing able 3-6x/wk. Having a schedule is key.

Friends / family: Connect to others that up lift you. The key is that UPLIFT you. Might need to cut out people that are plugged in telling you you are a 'bad person'. This can be online or in person.

Spirit: Religion if that works for you. But also reading philosophy and positive male focused advise from those that came before use. Personally I recommend: The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi (lots of free info on his website). And The Enchiridion by Epictetus (free as pdf, audio book or on youtube). I've always been a Stoic and re-reading Epictetus and Seneca really helped me. More of a guide to life, than an actually plan.

Stay strong

Gxl4 · 2021-11-18T05:08:48+00:00

India seems like a fucked up place overall. Cant think about a good thing there except fast internet and some populair mountain.

The divorce rate can be low, but the nagging wumeng will be everywere since they ‘have no other way’ out than to put the husband in an early stroke/heart failure by a 1000-cut death and high bloodpressure 24/7 so they csn freely ride the cock carrousel. (Or just cheat lol)

Take on hobbies, lift shit, run, go hunting or fishing. Build your own house. Be the best self for yourself. Spin plates and dont commit.

Enjoy the ride

Title	Need your thoughts
Author	chakamaki
Upvotes	4
Comments	7
Date	November 18, 2021 12:01 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/qwckcv/need_your_thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-your-thoughts.1083571 https://theredarchive.com/post/1083571

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