Not legally separated yet.

WartimeDad · 2021-03-22T04:44:29+00:00

Man I had to buy completely new clothes, never did get back in to my own house. You need a lawyer. She’s wrong about it needing to be “settled” in court. That doesn’t mean anything. But you do need to be super careful. If she hasn’t already she will claim all sorts of abuse. If she has already then she will call the cops and turn you getting your own stuff into evidence you are abusive.

You’re really in a terrible spot. The one I was in many months ago and am still trying to get myself out of this mess. I never should have left. I should have let her hit me until i was bloody or bruised. I should have secretly recorded her hitting me and screaming at me. I should have called the cops. Lots of “I should haves” in my case. Calmly leaving the house to be a good man and defuse the situation before she exploded, well it ended up being a terrible choice.

So you need a lawyer. They can probably arrange it so a cop comes with you to get your stuff. Maybe without the cop. There should be no reason you need a locksmith, she needs to allow entry, even if she is not there. Do you/ does she have a lawyer?

MyNewNormal808 · 2021-03-22T05:52:46+00:00

Dude. I would 1) get a lawyer ASAP. 2) get back into the house and stay there. If she wants the divorce and be apart from you, she can leave. If you want the divorce, you can still stay in the house. I fell for that BS that it's the man that leaves. I lost having 50/50 custody of the kids and had to buy all new things for the apartment while she kept everything.

sicrm · 2021-03-22T05:37:32+00:00

get a lawyer if you don’t have one already.

why did you leave the house you own?

SUEDE2BLACK · 2021-03-22T10:48:50+00:00

Don't leave just take a separate room lock the door and lawyer up.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-03-22T15:10:34+00:00

Unless divorce has been filed, go get your stuff. Better yet, go back home. Here's why: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81622

The_New_Me1982 · 2021-03-23T00:41:02+00:00

She’s wrong. She can’t legally withhold it. Nothing is “legal” until that judge/chancellor rules. Your house (joint or not) means your stuff. Agree with below; get a lawyer

Boring_Cancel · 2021-03-26T05:31:23+00:00

Technically no you would be breaking the law if you decided to smash a window to get in. I wouldn’t advise that you do it though.

Choice 1: tell her you are coming to get a few of your things laptop, clothes, etc. Ask for a time that will work for her. If she doesn’t play nice then I’d just go over when she is there. She can’t keep you out. Be civil and knock on the door (if she’s crazy record this). If she won’t let you in call your police departments local number, not 911. Explain the situation. Ask if you should come to the department or if a officer could meet you at the property. If you do this odds are the police will be on your side and you will get your things and be in and out in a jif.

Option 2: call your lawyer and explain the issue. They should be able to either contact her lawyer to set up agreement or your lawyer can make this issue aware to a judge. Which honestly will look bad on her cause the last thing a judge wants to hear about is how a adult either male or female is acting like a child.

Title	Not legally separated yet.
Author	Lucky_Slip_6178
Upvotes	6
Comments	9
Date	March 22, 2021 3:27 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/madst5/not_legally_separated_yet/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/not-legally-separated-yet.1189934 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189934

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