Hi Reddit -

I suppose I wanted to post an update - i am officially divorced. I really want to thank this sub for all of the conversations that helped me navigate the hardest year and a half of my life. As many of you recall, my wife’s father died, and she abruptly left me and focused quite a bit on things like tarot cards, becoming a psychic, and starting her new podcast. She was suddenly “traumatized” by me after over a decade together. I very much felt like I was caught in the crossfire of grief, the Barbie movie, and spiritual narcissism. I couldn’t do anything right. It’s hard to communicate perfectly when you’re being blindsided with divorce. It seemed like she then focused on my anger / confusion / resentment from being abandoned to justify her actions. She used my post-blindsided / separation actions to justify our divorce. She was now “scared of me”. She called me every form of abusive other than physical - financially, spiritually, emotionally. I had a prenup which thankfully held up but settled with her for a fraction of my net worth. Prenups are real and they work. I made out lucky by many of your standards. I think the thing that caught me the most by surprise was the revisionist history. It was all the sudden like my ex-wife had never been happy a day in our relationship. All of a sudden I was her number one enemy. This transformation and lack of accountability has blown my mind for about a year and a half. I’m still very confused by her actions, but there are many aspects of each day that are getting better. She is now mad at me that I did not give her more money in the divorce. She also worked for my company and is mad that she no longer has a job. We thankfully had a prenup and I can’t recommend them enough. If you marry, pay a lawyer, do it all by the book, give her time to review the document, and sign a prenup.

When all of this went down, I originally read a lot of the advice on this forum. Most everyone told me that marriage counseling was a waste of time and they were completely right. Most everyone told me that once she is gone, she is gone. They were right. It is kind of weird going through such a unique experience where your life is crumbling and then getting on the Internet and realizing that so many men are going through this exact same thing. I have gone to over 50 therapy sessions in the past year to understand my part in my marriage falling apart. None of us are perfect and I really wanted to reflect, but after this many sessions of therapy, I feel confident in saying that sometimes women just go crazy and leave good men. They will make you an enemy overnight and blame you for all of their mistakes that they regret about their life. Burn it down seems to be the option versus truly working on repairing a marriage.

Hang in there everyone! I’m not completely on the other side, but I see the light. if any of y’all need to talk, feel free to message me. I highly recommend therapy, working out, traveling, saying yes to everything, getting laid, and accepting the present. Your life has been abruptly altered by someone else’s inability to reflect.

I suppose I do have a few questions for everyone here. Even though she left me, I still feel guilt and worry about her future and what she is going to do for a job, money, and ultimately, the potential regret of abandoning a good family. Do any of you still carry this sort of weight? When I see pictures of her, I feel like she is the love of my life and I am still very confused that this played out the way it did. Any post divorce advice?