Potential divorce

SummerRaine78 · 2026-05-30T17:33:21+00:00

A Special Needs Trust for your kids is important. My ex has a lesion on his pituitary and has had severe psychological issues that made being together dangerous. CPS told me that I could have my marriage or I could have my kids, not BOTH. Our kids are autistic, I chose them and I still love the man, wish he would get treatment at the VA for it but I will settle for a special needs trust for our youngest. He graduates in a week, while I do not feel he needs a guardianship, I will be setting up a Supported Decision-Making Agreement with him.

tyyyy110 · 2026-05-29T23:44:36+00:00

Make peace with things.

As tough as that sounds ik . Make peace with it. Write out things. Make a plan. Make out your top priorities. Level set expectations. And then execute those things. They may or may not look ideal but ..do them for you.

TheDavenessPhD · 2026-05-29T19:41:21+00:00

You know that life is already heavy enough. And the biggest lie that men tell themselves is that they're going to stay for the kids, but kids in unhappy homes feel it, and imagine special needs kids even more so. Two unhappy parents is not a gift for your kids.

If your time left with the kids is genuinely shorter, surely you want them to see their dad as a happy person? Live your life. Do the things that make you happy, and your kids will be happier too.

Are you staying because you want to or because you think you should? If you're looking for excuses to stay, you should leave.

Here if you need to chat about it.

chadm17 · 2026-05-29T16:12:43+00:00

We live in Los Angeles which is not cheap at all. We are in a house and paying a mortgage. I am a federal employee and want to keep my retirement. Too many things going into my head….

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-05-29T13:19:11+00:00

That's some serious stress on both of you. Not easy for even the best of marriages.

If you're both unhappy then sit down and figure out how to handle the separation. You're gonna have two new households and that means numerous things depending on how much you two make and where you live.

If you're both unhappy and agree that you want to separate, you'll obviously need draw up a separation agreement that spells out money, property, and custody.

Do a google search and talk to friends who've been divorced in your area and interview a few lawyers.

FirelineJake · 2026-05-29T12:21:50+00:00

You've been carrying an enormous amount for a long time. A brain cancer diagnosis, raising two children with special needs, and trying to maintain a marriage through it all would put tremendous strain on anyone. Before making any final decisions, I'd encourage both of you to ask whether you're unhappy with each other or exhausted by the circumstances you've been forced to navigate. Those aren't always the same thing. If possible, consider counseling, not necessarily to save the marriage, but to gain clarity. Whether you stay together or part ways, having honest conversations in a structured environment can help both of you move forward with less regret.

dystinct · 2026-05-29T11:17:30+00:00

Get a lawyer is the first step. Your quickest and cheapest option is to go through mediation. Work with your partner and agree on as much as possible. Do not settle for anything less than 50/50.

Title	Potential divorce
Author	chadm17
Upvotes	8
Comments	18
Date	May 29, 2026 11:12 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1tqykjh/potential_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/potential-divorce.1581565 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581565

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