I've been separated for 6 months now, though we were still living together under the same roof initially. She moved out first while we were selling the house, and I've been living on my own for about 3 months. We're both 36 and were married for 13 years. This is my first divorce and her second.

Ironically, I met her while she was married but separated. Her previous relationship was toxic, and she was already living in her own place though still legally married. After her divorce, our relationship moved quickly—we had a child and got married all within a year, as we were attending church and wanted to do things right after learning she was pregnant (looking back, this was obviously a bad idea but we still did it anyways).

Over 13 years, we had another child, developed our careers, bought houses, etc. But everything went downhill rapidly. Last year we were arguing constantly. We felt like strangers living together. She's emotionally erratic while I'm more logical and even-tempered. Despite our differences, we went through many experiences together, and I still consider her my best friend.

During a significant argument, I told her how much I hated her. I later realized I was just holding onto years of bitterness and resentment. She rarely apologized, and I believe she shows narcissistic tendencies, often prioritizing feelings above anyone elses. After that fight, I told her we needed to separate and divorce.

After a few months apart, I later realized I still love her. I reached out to tell her I didn't hate her and that after reflection, I recognized how much I love and miss her. She didn't respond, but soon there after I learned through my oldest daughter that she had been seeing another man for a couple of months. I wasn't prepared for this news, as loyalty was something we both valued. We even had promised each other not to date anyone until finalizing the divorce, and I honored that promise. Thinking back, this now explains why she was pressuring me to file, even though I was the one who initiated the separation. I think she didn't want the guiltyness of her wanting a divorce and wants this to come from me given her mother has been divorced 4 times (this will now be her second) and has always said she would never want that type of reputation.

Our daughters haven't taken the news of her dating well. Especially my oldest. We have 50/50 custody and timesharing. Despite it all, she knows im a good father.

I was devastated hearing all this, as I hoped for reconciliation and thought we just needed time apart. Since then, I've stopped smoking, reduced socializing, and tried new activities, but it's been difficult. I miss her terribly.

A few weeks ago, we started having more casual conversations, and I briefly thought she might have ended the new relationship and wanted to reconcile. When I asked directly if she was still seeing him, she confirmed she was. She also said she only wanted friendship with me while pursuing this new relationship. It broke my heart again hearing this. She stated she would never get back with me. She even admitted this new person cheated in his previous 17-year relationship and would return to his ex if given the chance. I can't believe she's choosing to give him a chance rather than a second shot on our marriage. She simply said she admired his honesty.

These past weeks have been rough as I try not to think about her. It's painful how quickly she moved on and replaced me. While she seems happy, she knows I'd do anything to reconcile and how hurt I am, but she had the audacity to say, "Well, maybe you deserve it."

I've been attending therapy, joining divorce support groups, and reconnecting with family and friends who have supported me through this process. I'm trying to stay strong and positive for our daughters. I know I need to move forward and eventually will, but how can I process this grief?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.