My work schedule is pretty messed up, but I definitely want to keep my job. It pays well, has a good atmosphere, has good benefits, etc.

The schedule is a rotating shift scheduled, 12.5 hr shifts from 5:15-5:45. So I work 4-5 days, off 4-5, work 4-5 nights, off 4-5. It winds up being 50% days working, 50% off of work. There’s also overtime, which is mandatory, and is usually anywhere from 1-3 shifts/month.

I’m not from the area. I was stationed here in the military and met my soon to be ex wife here. She had nothing and was living on a couch when she met me; left by another marriage after she had an abortion. I gave her the life she wanted, I needed someone to help support my transition of course since I decided to get out of the military for her and start a life 2300 miles away from my hometown. But that never happened. I was always just a monster for even arguing with her if there was a disagreement. She had no accountability, there were no honest conversations. She would lie and then try and make it funny. Don’t get me started about my in-laws, more specifically my father-in-law and his cult of a church. He’s one of those guys that drives a $60k Mercedes and has a 2500 Sq ft house in a gated community but uses his son’s gym for the church building. The church is his primary source of income. He weighs close to 400 lbs….I could go on. I understand his suffering but I know he’s behind a lot of my ex’s decisions and is whispering nonsense into her ear.

The separation was supposed to be temporary so we could “heal.” I had to convince her to go to therapy (which I was already doing), and to go to marriage counseling. Well, when the going got rough, and she gave up. I never did, and I made sure I told her this was her decision, not mine. I know I wasn’t easy, but neither was she. We have 2 kids; keeping the goal to keep the family together and to work on ourselves was what was needed. Not giving up.

Anyways, there was more venting there than I planned on. I have my demons too, and I do realize that. The point of the post was to ask if it’s even possible for me to go for 50/50 custody, or even if I should, since she agreed to there being no domiciliary parent in the divorce so I have equal say to everything in regards to the kids. She does want me to be involved with them, and I have gratitude for that. the child support amount I would pay. Essentially $1760/month for her having majority custody vs $900/month if it were 50/50. The amount that I would have the kids would vary slightly as well, I think.

Coming off of night shift, it is extremely difficult having them while already being sleep deprived then having to stay up all day with no sleep. I feel like it drains me to the point where my mental health suffers. 4-5 hrs/day of sleep for 5 days then being up for 30+ hrs straight is rough to say the least. I don’t know if I would have to take the kids the morning I get off since it would factor in to it being actually 50/50. Of course ideally I could get them after school or a little before lunch time on my first day off, just so I can get a couple of hours.

Anyway, my question is this. Do I have to have the kids for exactly 50% of the time if I go for 50-50 custody? Vs like 45% of the time because of those mornings and overtime days?