~ archived since 2018 ~

Status update

letak2018 · 2019-03-06T19:54:47+00:00

Hired lawyer, she called me today if I was seeking custody. I replied in the affirmative. Waiting for next step......

letak2018

March 6, 2019

4 upvotes

/r/Divorce_Men

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Post Information

Title	Status update
Author	letak2018
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	March 6, 2019 7:54 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ay33xt/status_update/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/status-update.819721 https://theredarchive.com/post/819721

Comments

[+]btgarner1 points 7 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Whenever you talk to the Ex (or STBX), never say what you are pursuing legally. The best answer is something long the lines of "I am looking into whatever option is going to be best for the children." Never show your hand, and the public face always, ALWAYS has to be kids first.

[–]letak2018[S] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]battleonwardpowder 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]letak2018[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]letak2018[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]battleonwardpowder 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

If you work less and are their primary caregiver, then that will make a difference.

But typically, the TX court system tends to be very invested in keeping kids with their mothers and fighting for custody when there’s no history of clear drug/alcohol abuse or violence against the CHILDREN can backfire if you’re not careful. My STBX is a child advocacy volunteer and sees a lot of this within the court system.

IF you are the primary caregiver... and you should be REALLY sure that you are— then you might have a decent case. But keep in mind that if it’s contested your kids, especially your oldest, are going to have to be involved in your divorce and most don’t handle it well.

It’s definitely in yours and their best interest to come to a mutual agreement with STBX outside of court. If you can’t, document everything, save your money and hope for the best. Good luck to you.

[–]letak2018[S] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, I just read this: “The Texas court has several options when issuing a custody order. Sole custody can be awarded to one parent, which means that the child resides primarily with that parent and that parent has the exclusive right to make decisions about the child's upbringing. However, Texas courts prefer joint custody arrangements so the child maintains a meaningful relationship with both parents.”

This is good food for thought. It’s not that she is a completely unreliable person; she would not let the kids starve or whatever. She just has deep emotional problems that lead to raging outbursts. the important thing really is that her behavior is addressed. I really think it’s harmful to my sons, one in particular who has anxiety issues. Thanks for your replies. I’m learning the ropes of all of this.

[–]battleonwardpowder 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

There’s a thing I didn’t want to admit in my own divorce— and this isn’t to say that it’s the same for you and your ex, just something to think about.

I had similar feelings about my wife. She was highly emotional and would fly off the handle at me over what seemed like stupid shit at the time. I said all the same about it being bad for the kids etc. This is fresh in my mind right now because I was at what’s now her house today for the first time in months and I realized that it was the toxicity of our marriage that caused her crazy. Not some character flaw on her part. She’s a good woman and a much better one now that I’m not around.

Divorce is shit and it turns people into the worst version of themselves. It’s possible that she won’t act out as much when it’s just her and the kids. Again not saying that’s what’s up, you know your situation and I don’t. I did a lot to fuck up my marriage and not everyone is in that position.

I hope it all works out for you and I’ll be interested in an update when you have one for sure. It’ll get better. Keep your kids at #1 and that’s a good place to start.

[–]letak2018[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link