I am very sorry about the long read. I have waited over 2 months to write anything about this. And I feel like I just really needed to get this off my chest

I've been with my wife for 6 years married for 3 of those. We have had the absolute best relationship from start all the way up until almost the very end. We had each other's bags for everything. We were honest with each other about all of our feelings about our past, about our goal. In the future, everything, all of our friends were jealous of how good our relationship was. We've had ups Downs. I've won a $100000 on a scratch off with her. And the First Words out of my mouth were, this is our money. We had each other's backs all the time our relationship started in new york city.When we first met and when the pandemic hit I was still working full time.She was not working at all in all of her jobs have shut down.We up and moved to new orleans, where i started working right away for a contractor it was miserable, did not pay much money, but we had all our Bills paid and everything she was working nights as a Waitress at a bar on bourbon street. I bought a five dollar scratch off at the gas station across the street, from our house, one hundred thousand dollars told her that was our money, not mine.We put it all into a business together, and we ran a construction business for 4 years. I have been in construction for over twenty years, so I taught her everything.I knew we had a good successful remodeling company for 3 and a half years. We had a slow period around christmas time, which usually happens.But it was about a month and a half with no work.And our savings was getting low.I applied for a job and became a project manager and also got her a job as a project manager where we were both making 75k a year. It was a high stress job.But it was paying all our bills, everything was going well, and then I got a few offers to remodel some bars and bathrooms on my own again.So I went back to working for myself, and she stayed at the project management job. Because she was a woman in that field, they gave her a really hard time.Never let her move up.And she seen other people who were way worse project managers than her move up just simply because they were men, she got stressed about it but she stayed to it and got her job done.All the time, this is where our relationship got a little bit of strain, because she had worked.So many hours, I almost never saw her.And for me, I can make my own hours.So I was home a lot more plus we have two dogs that needed taken care of. Mainly just sex went down from being four times a week to twice a week, then once a week which I was fine with I was tired for my physical job, she was mentally tired from hers.She had finally had enough and took a day off of work.And when I came home, she was in the backyard by the fire.Pit and had told me, she just put a deposit on a log cabin in north carolina.And we were gonna move up there. I hated new orleans and was absolutely ready to move.So I agreed started finishing up all my work, so making sure when I moved out of new orleans.Everything would be complete.We start packing everything and two days before we leave.My truck gets robbed, which had all of my tools in them 14k worth and there is nothing I could do about it because we were leaving in two days.I loaded up my truck, and the u hall that we rented drove the eleven and a half hours straight to north carolina into our log cabin.We were supposed to have two months of no work.Just being able to relax, adjust to the new environment that we just moved to which is in the mountains.But because somebody robbed my truck, I had to get us work right away.So by our second week up here, I had got my llc and started remodeling right away. We landed a huge job and we worked on it. It was stressful, but we got it done. And we had a few arguments through the job on design issues. Labor issues? She was late every single day and my body was starting to give up from how much work I've done over my life in this industry. I tore both biceps and needed to find other work that was less physical. So I applied and got a project management job paying 85k a year. I knew once I started work. She wasn't gonna be able to keep the remodeling company going without me. So I talked them into giving her a job at 65k a year. They did not want to, but because they really needed me. They hired her and she was confrontational. Throughout the whole thing, she didn't realize this is not her company, her opinion doesn't matter. You just have a job to do. And that was it. She fought the entire 4 or 5 months. She was there, and they kept her on because they were scared. I was going to quit. We still had a great relationship. I'd bring her flowers when I saw her at work. All the workers said the same thing they were all jealous of how good our relationship was. Everything was nice. Our home life was good. There was no arguments, no fighting. And we are both 7 years. Sober. We started going to women's AA meetings, and I don't know what happened at these meetings or what? But all of a sudden, we started getting distanced quick. It was to the point to where I never saw her. She would come home at 10 o'clock at night. And I would already be in bed, and then all of a sudden, she decides to quit the job and starts going to Yoga training class to where she has to pay 300. And $50 a month to become a Yoga instructor. And this is where everything changed. Changed.She decided she was gonna become a stripper pay for her yoga classes and go to her women's AA meetings and I again never saw her 1 day I got tired of it. It was 9 o'clock at night. She didn't tell me where she was. I could see on her life. 360 app that she was at a meeting and then went to a restaurant after with the girls. No phone, call no text message. Nothing so I got up and went to the casino. The casino is about an hour from my house. And I just needed a blow off some steam well, I'm at The casino for about forty five minutes.And then I get a phone call from her asking where i'm at so I was at the casino and I would be home.Soon, I had won about a thousand dollars and figured.Oh, this would make her happy.I'll give her some money for her.Yoga course.And we'll talk and try and figure out what's going on between us. I got home. She was already asleep. So I just got ready for bed and went to sleep. The next morning I told her that I feel like something is wrong between us. She's never home and doesn't check-in anymore. And within the last two weeks, I feel like something's going on. She had then told me she wanted a divorce. She said she wanted to be separated from the financial burden of the taxes from the business. And that she just wanted freedom, she didn't want to be in a marriage. Anymore, I was in total shock. I hopped in my truck and drove almost to tennessee and went to the only place I was open.And it was a casino where I just sat there for 3 days, no sleep no food, just sitting there drinking coffee playing slot machines. Trying to understand what just happened in my life. When I told our friends that we were getting a divorce, everyone actually thought we were kidding. From the moment she said she wanted a divorce. She has become the coldest person. Refuses to give any answers on why she really wants a divorce other than she just wants her. Freedom says she did not meet anybody else. And it has been 2 months. I gave up my seven year sobriety, and had started drinking again for about two weeks and then started shooting fentanyl. Who is this?I am now working on getting back to being clean but she abandoned me with her dog and taking on all the bills that we both accumulated over the years, I still am in absolute shock over everything I asked her about counseling.I asked her about therapy. I am bipolar, and I know that can be hard to deal with. But I'm not a violent bipolar when it Kix in. I just get very quiet and I just try and work through it. I've had it long enough and realized that when it starts to kick in. I sit back, I try and work through it. And I'm just very quiet, usually lasts about 3 days, and then it's over and I'm good for the next month or so she has moved into some studio. Apartment refuses to talk on the phone. I have stopped text messaging her, and I try and keep everything strictly business only talk to her. If I need to She wants to come by every once in a while to see the dogs and I cannot be home at that time because she does not want to see me. I was completely blindsided by this and am still struggling with understanding how it happened. Any insight? Any advice? Anything will help? I don't think anything will help. I don't know anymore. I'm just confused and feel like I needed to get this out. I haven't been able to talk to anybody about this. I live in a state where I don't know anybody. I have up and moved my life 2 times for this girl. And I am just very lost. This is just where my life is at the current moment.And I have no idea what direction to go I have been offered a job that pays double.What I make now, but I will have to move to missouri.And at this point I don't see why I shouldn't go because I have nothing here.Anyway.