The fear

Gloomy-Equivalent-10 · 2024-10-07T15:49:20+00:00

IDK if this will help but I'm in the same boat except much older, kids are grown & our overall wealth has increased significantly in the past few years, the marriage absolutely sucks but for some reason I can't pull the trigger to end it.

I believe there's a comfort factor to it... your house .. your environment,... this will all end once the divorce starts .... as for your kids, the cream rises to the top. If you're a good man & father your kids will realize it

Wishing you the best

InductionFire · 2024-10-07T15:15:21+00:00

Are you seeing a therapist? My wife separated from me 4 months ago and has been cheating along with her having severe undiagnosed mental health conditions. We have a 3 yr old, and a house together. I tried so hard to save it for my son. The fears are real but you cannot let them consume you. Please continue to work on yourself as that is the only way it will get better. This is going to take a long time, but keep trying for you and your kid.

No-Asparagus6937 · 2024-10-06T06:51:59+00:00

Agree 100%. You will always be his dad!

No-Asparagus6937 · 2024-10-06T06:51:38+00:00

Agree 100%. You will always be his dad!

MissionToe3030 · 2024-10-06T03:34:30+00:00

This post needs to be on single mom subreddits.

warwww · 2024-10-05T08:50:17+00:00

Focus on protecting the relationship with your kid. Anyone that seeks to harm that relationship is not your friend but instead is an extreme enemy. If she’s the one leaving and wants full custody, let it sink In for a second that she has every intention of taking your son around another man and having him spend more than 80% of his time around said strange man.

Where does that leave you in terms of being a father?

During my divorce I was not sad that she was leaving as I stayed in a terrible marriage for the sake of our kids as I know full well what’s out there in the “streets” per say. I tried to delay as long as possible having my kids see the revolving door of men lined up just to have sex or a good time around them. Best I can do is mitigate it by having them around me 50% of the time.

I remember once when I was much younger I dated a lady with a young kid. She handed the kid to me to hold and it was such an incredibly odd feeling as I had no connection with this child and I kept asking myself how could I bond with a child that isn’t mines when their father is still alive? This child NEEDS to be with their father. Im not going to pretend to be go go and ga ga with this kid just to bed their mother. I quickly left that relationship.

A lot of times we kid ourselves into going against things we know doesn’t feel natural. I’ve never seen a man be truly happy to come home to kids that aren’t his. It’s the hard truth society doesn’t like to speak about as it upsets women’s feelings.

That was 15 years ago and it that feeling stuck with me.

Point is, protect your relationship with your kid. They need you as their father, trust me. Your love is unconditional, they cannot receive the same sort of love from another man whose blood does not flow through their veins.

Turn that fear of losing that relationship with your kid into fuel to protecting it. Easier said than done but once you see what the next person or your ex-wife is trying to do then it should give you a steely resolve in terms of protecting that.

Title	The fear
Author	Turbulent_Repeat_889
Upvotes	9
Comments	7
Date	October 5, 2024 5:19 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fwj6sl/the_fear/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/the-fear.1532114 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532114

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