Original post here

It’s been about seven months since my original post, and I thought it might be helpful — for myself and maybe for others — to share where things stand now.

The divorce is officially underway. Negotiations have started, with my wife mostly hiding behind her lawyer and using the kids as a shield to keep the current house. I’ve instructed my lawyer that if that’s the reasoning, then by the same logic, I should keep the house in my home country so I can have a place to host the children when they visit me.

I suggested a direct swap — we each keep one of the houses. Her lawyer has been mostly silent on that, while very vocal about her staying in the current house… “for the kids’ sake,” of course. She also tried to push for a percentage of my salary as child support, but I pushed back, and my lawyer agreed she was asking for too much. He offered a lower figure, and now we’re starting to work toward a realistic amount. He had a solid idea: pay slightly more in January and August when school starts, and a set lower amount the rest of the year.

A lot of this feels more like power plays than genuine cooperation — something I expected, but it still stings. That said, I’ve stayed calm, strategic, and focused on the long game. I’ve made a conscious choice not to react emotionally anymore, and that’s been a big shift for me.

I’m preparing to move back to my home country soon. There’s still plenty to sort out, but I’ve realized I need to be in an environment where I can rebuild and grow — not one where I’m constantly on edge. It’s not easy walking away, especially with kids involved, but staying in a toxic space helps no one.

The kids remain my top priority. I’ve fought hard to stay close to them and will continue to do so. I’ll be seeing them during school holidays, calling regularly, and doing everything I can to show them that even if their parents aren’t together, they still have a loving, present father. We’ve had some real heart-to-heart moments lately, and I know they feel the love.

The gym has become an anchor for me. It’s given me structure, focus, and a positive outlet. I’ve also been working hard to detach from the drama and focus on building the next chapter of my life. There’s still a long road ahead, but mentally and emotionally, I’m in a much stronger place than I was seven months ago.

One thing I’ve had to accept is that the affair wasn’t my fault — it was her choice, and hers alone. Cheating isn’t some accidental reaction to a rocky relationship; it’s a deliberate betrayal. People who do it will often try to gaslight you, to twist the story and blame you for their lack of integrity. They strike when you’re vulnerable, like a pack turning on the wounded. It’s cruel, calculated, and entirely on them. Don’t carry their shame on your back — you’ve already carried enough. The healing starts when you drop what was never yours to begin with.

If you’re going through something similar, just know: it doesn’t all get better overnight, but it does get clearer. Eventually, you start to feel like yourself again.

You don’t have to be the stuck parent or the default babysitter while someone else lives their life. Take control of your future while you still can. You won’t regret leaving someone who betrayed you — only staying longer than you should have.