So about 10 months ago I made a lengthy post (I'd link it but don't know how) about why I was leaving the TRP and more specifically MRP communities. I signed in to this account accidentally the other day and thought I'd just give a brief update of how my life has progressed since deciding to move on from the Red Pill.

​

I filed for divorce early last August. Due to COVID closing the courts my final trial date has been pushed out to somewhere near the end of July or early August. Other than not seeing my kids and losing a fair amount of control over what they are/aren't exposed to, I haven't regretted this. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I'm much happier and healthier in so many ways, I've reconnected with friends and made efforts to deepen the relationships in my life that contribute to my overall well-being. I've had some low points to be sure, and my STBX has pulled some seriously ridiculous shit over the course of the divorce but I'm doing well.

​

Plenty of people recommend taking a good length of time to recover after getting out of toxic/abusive relationships. I had already done a lot of work to get better, both on my own and with my therapist, before I filed. Couple that with the fact that my "marriage" was really over years ago and I personally had no problems hopping on Tinder and hitting the bars. I was just looking to meet new people, to hang out and enjoy women's company and just sort of get used to being back out there. In a lot of ways I was still using some RP philosophy, but its not anything that's novel or that TRP has a trademark on. Some women were definitely just playing with me, looking for attention and I shut that down quickly but politely. I decided I would not compromise on certain things (like skipping workouts to hang out with a girl) and I had to emphasize that a few times. My friends also hold priority over women, and I stopped seeing a couple women because they insisted I come hang out with them rather than my friends ("you'll have more fun with me, I promise"). I was and am having success dating/hooking up so I have no experience of pressure to chase anyone or sacrifice for them in a way that undermines me or my goals and values. I have boundaries and behviors I won't tolerate and I know my worth as a person and as a man. I learned that from TRP, but as I stated in my original post you ought to be able to learn that from any decent therapist.

​

A big step in my decision to divorce and recovering from what I went through came from the book "Out of the Fog", which is about recognizing and dealing with individuals who are narcissistic, manipulative and generally toxic. It really opened my eyes to how much bullshit I'd been put through and put up with and I highly encourage you to check out both the book and the online forum. You'd be surprised how much abusive behavior is out there in your own sphere. Its helped me navigate my relationship with my mother and sister and its a resource I never hesitate to pass on to anyone I think could use it.

​

In my case the Red Pill delivered on its promise of making or breaking my marriage. The reality though is that my marriage was broken from Day 1 and would have remained so due to my ex wife's personality disorder. It never would have mattered how "good" I became, and realizing that I filed without hesitation. I also understood that I was feeling great about all aspects of my life and in a lot of ways that seemed to make my ex wife's behavior worse. She would say awful things to me when I would talk about getting my drinking under control or that I hit a new PR in the gym. I was getting plenty of positive feedback from my friends, my therapist (not to mention a lot of attention from women) and yet my wife, my partner in life, could nothing but insult me and shit on my progres.

​

These days I'm focusing on learning about how to build and maintain healthy relationships. I'm learning about healthy communication, about listening, and what love really is and looks like. I'm very clear and honest with all the women I have dated or seen casually and the vast majority of them have been understanding and basically doing the same thing I am. Despite the insanity that has been 2020 I'm having a blast with my kids and my own (limited) free time and I'm looking forward to whatever comes my way next.

​

I sincerely hope some of the guys here have taken the good from TRP/MRP and applied it and had success in pulling their marriages or relationships or even themselves out of a terrible nose dive. I also hope you come to see your time in Red Pilled territory as one more rung on the ladder of life. Its behind you now, but at one point it was a necessary place to grab on to. There's no shame in having drank from a bitter well when it seemed to be the only one around, but there are certainly better options than Red Pill.