We know that chasing someone who’s not into you never fucking works.

Even if you manage to temporarily win them over, you're just be a placeholder until someone comes along who excites them. You will be fighting an uphill battle the whole time.

However, there is a difference between chasing and pursuing.

Chasing is needy and repulses women, while pursuing with an abundant frame of mind is highly attractive and moves things in the right direction.

First, a very important mindset is needed upfront. You have to have the utmost respect for yourself AND your time. It has to be at the forefront of your mind. You have to draw a line in the sand and make the decision that you will not waste time on those who don’t value you. Life is way too fucking short.

Even if that person has all the outward qualities you’re looking for, if they aren’t enthusiastic about you, wish them the best and move on.

The first difference between chasing and pursuing is Focus.

- When you chase someone, that person becomes the focus in your life.

Your actions are centered around getting their attention and doing everything you can to get them to like you. . It’s a scarcity-based behavior.

- When you pursue, that person might hold importance, but they aren’t the primary focus of your life. You aren’t in a relationship with them, so you still have other dating options. And You don’t neglect your development and career in favor of that person. Pursuing is based in confidence and abundance.

The second difference is Intent.

- When you chase, your actions are based around getting that person to like you; you’re seeking validation and acceptance. It’s unnatural and pushes others away because it’s not genuine.

- When you pursue, your actions are more authentic. You are putting forth an effort to truly get to know them and want to see them have happy. Very import-- you also factor in if YOU like them as well as you get to know them. When you chase, this is an afterthought.

And the third difference, which perhaps the most important, is Reciprocation.

- When you chase, the other person holds all the power. You are the one trying to prove yourself while they remain distant or mildly reactive. They do not make it easy for you to contact them or show enthusiasm for getting to know you. You are more of a source of validation and attention for them

- When you pursue, they show an equal level of interest. They reach out to you and appear interested in talking to you. It’s easy for you both to make plans, and they aren’t evasive. When you pursue, the other person matches your enthusiasm and effort.

So, to recap, when you meet someone and get to know them, be mindful of your own focus and intent, and carefully observe the other person’s effort as well. Pursue, never chase.

Full video: https://www.instagram.com/p/CsXSYkSgmVQ/