I feel so bad.... 17yo m

HairyAwareness · 2020-01-05T10:35:36+00:00

Reach out and explain to her what happened and why you were in that headspace.

Don’t expect anything in return from her. It may help you find a sense of closure.

If people ask you why you were acting like a cunt, you tell them. Own a mistake and grow

Then start working on things that challenge and stretch you, think about what kind of man you want to be and start working towards that. Gym and exercise are good cornerstones for that. Or sports and martial arts if that’s more your thing

BrownLeatherShoe · 2020-01-05T10:40:02+00:00

Be grateful that as a 17 year old you've realised the gravity of your mistake. Now I'm guessing you've done something pretty bad to lose your whole social circle and in school that can really suck. One thing you can do is use this as a life lesson. Now you know exactly what the problem is and what mistakes you made led you to this place, you can now work on yourself to make sure you never end up in this situation again. If you can find a trusted person to talk to outside school it will help.

off_brand_gobshite · 2020-01-05T11:11:18+00:00

I think it's really positive that you're able to look to life pre-RP to recognise the strengths and positive traits that made you happy in yourself, which other people liked as well. You're showing a lot of maturity in this insight, and it's clear that you value being warm and inclusive.

Talking to your old friends might help, but one-on-one; it takes a lot of courage to self-disclose these things and to show vulnerability in self-improvement. As a teacher, I think students in their last year of high school really have a huge journey individually and collectively - I think if you're genuine in your efforts to re-integrate with your peers and learn to communicate that they could be quite forgiving.

Whatever happens, you sound like a young guy who deserves a lot of respect and who has the opportunity to end well. I hope it goes well, to that end.

bluehorserunning · 2020-01-05T18:04:28+00:00

Advice? Gather all of your friends together, explain this same stuff to them, throw yourself at their feet (proverbially) and beg for forgiveness. Don't expect the girl to take you back, but she might eventually be your friend if you prove yourself reformed.

Edit: you are way too fucking young to be going out drinking. You're destroying your brain cells. Find something better to do that's fun, instead. Find a cops-and-robbers club or something

tomowudi · 2020-01-05T15:40:06+00:00

You are not your decisions. You are who you try to be everyday based on what you have learned yesterday. To be the person you are today, you had to make some mistakes. You had to make some bad decisions to see those consequences and learn from them.

So you are not the decisions you regret.

You are what you choose to do about your circumstances now.

These things happened. You can't change them. You aren't happy with where things are at.

So - what do you want to do about that, accepting that you can't change the past?

You can only decide what to do about it now, to take responsibility, to make amends if you had wronged someone, and most importantly...

To make right now a moment you will be proud to remember?

What decisions can you make right now that you will be proud you made, even if it turns out that it made shit worse? After all, your best will always be limited by your ability to predict the future. If you think something will help, and it doesn't, that's just a bad prediction - that's not you being a dick or doing something wrong.

You got derailed by a popular movement that justified your anger and pain. That's not you being a dick. That's you being human and searching for comfort and answers. And at 17, you are VULNERABLE to that sort of thing.

So. You are a victim of that movement. It hurt you. And hurt people hurt people.

But you are smart, you figured out what was happening and how it was a bit of a fuck up, and you are already taking responsibility for it. Great job! You should be proud of that. You should keep the pain of your regret to help you remember.

Feel it, but don't beat yourself up over it. Just Understand that these decisions made you feel the way you do because of how it impacted who you want to be and caused pain for others. But also keep in mind that your actions hurt others only because they didn't recognize YOUR pain.

Because that's the way ignorance works. They weren't healthy enough to see you were not healthy and got hurt. And you weren't healthy enough to predict what your decisions would lead to.

But now you do, and now is the only thing that matters, because you can only make decisions now, and you can only decide from the choices you are aware of.

Meditation will help you maximize the number of choices available to you in your awareness. Kindness, compassion, and a focus on common ground will help you be the best version of you in each moment. And just like your past decisions have added up to create your present dissatisfaction with your current circumstances, the decisions you make now will accumulate over time - lots of time - and create your future circumstances.

Future circumstances built by your best attempt to be the best version of yourself who accepts that being the best version of yourself is a long process of trying, failing, and then trying again.

All you can do, and all you have been doing, is trying. You are now better positioned to try again.

Make the most of this moment now. Make the most of each attempt to be the you that you would be honored to have as a friend or brother.

The rest will sort itself out.

Lastly, be greatful for the red pill movement. Without it you would not be here right now. Your life has unfolded in a certain way that you mostly did not choose. The red pill was an important component. It taught you who you are happier NOT being. Aren't you glad you learned that lesson at 17 rather than 37?

There is simplicity on the far side of complexity. We all flirt with different ideas. Some of those ideas suck, are dumb, or even toxic. The sooner we recognize it, the sooner we can use that lesson to improve our lives.

Congratulations on your Bravery in not just asking for help, but becoming a red piller in the first place. And congratulations on learning that it's toxic. These are important growth moments that will help you raise your star far higher than it fell.

Title	I feel so bad.... 17yo m
Author	frank6812
Upvotes	20
Comments	10
Date	January 5, 2020 10:10 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ekb8m3/i_feel_so_bad_17yo_m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-feel-so-bad-17yo-m.304740 https://theredarchive.com/post/304740

Comments