I'm considering leaving the red pill

bones_and_love · 2017-02-24T12:52:26+00:00

The last thing you want to do is "join the red pill" for one simple reason... its intention is to grow and market, not help people with clear information. The easy thing they do that demonstrates this is all the unneeded lingo and metaphors. They are used for a few reasons. First off, when an old idea is dressed up in new lingo, it can sometimes seem more revolutionary or cooler than it actually is. Secondly, it's ambiguous, which makes the concept right to everyone in the sense that people fill it with their own meaning. Thirdly, the ambiguity makes it additionally very hard to discuss "is TRP right?" because if you say "Ahah, I got you!", someone can interpret that part of TRP differently and say you're misunderstanding the analogy.

Let's take a concrete example... alpha fucks and beta bucks. Ok, so that phrase can have all sorts of meaning. Some people might interpret it in a really reasonable way such as "Women are attracted to looks just like men are, and gold diggers exist. Seek out a relationship with mutual attraction." Others might believe it's some sort of crazy social construction that means women are all manipulative sluts. Same phrase, two entirely different interpretations.

Let me make the main point as clear as possible... the "advice" was never meant to be clear.

Compare that to a popular self help book about social stuff or maybe a philosophical / thoughtful piece about human nature. Both are written to be clearly understood and avoid misunderstandings. You can actually take one of those and write a small paper about why the book is right or wrong. You can quote from it, digest its message, understand it, agree with it, disagree with it. There is no stupid back and forth of "you are not understanding it".

Ohmysweetpajamas · 2017-02-24T18:21:01+00:00

Self improvement is a good idea. But self improvement doesn't include getting as muscled up as possible (unless you actually want to be a body builder) and becoming a jerk to people and learning how to prey on women and objectify them.

That makes you (not personally you, but generally speaking) worse than whomever may have hurt you. Although often, no women hurt them, they just didn't give them the sex and attention that they felt they were owed.

Their general social advice and retorts to "tests" are crazy awkward and lame. Why would you want to become socially inept?

And that "alpha" stuff is ridiculous. I work in the field of ethology and they don't actually know what alpha is. And even if they mean a frame of mind, do you really think an alpha would be learning how to be alpha from a subReddit?

TRP is a good way to die alone and only attract temporary women who are very unstable (who else would put up with their nonsense), or women who are just after you for your assets.

What normal woman is going to legitimately and actually care about someone who is constantly manipulating, belittling, psychologically abusing, and at times physically abusing them?

And if TRP isn't who you really are, and a woman is attracted to you bc of a role you're playing, she's not loving you for you. She's loving (maybe) you for who you're pretending to be.

Make yourself a well rounded person. Take confidence in your accomplishments. Try to be more positive than not (getting into the habit of complaining a lot really deters people). Don't be non-social. You won't meet and be good at social skills unless you get out to do these things. Treat women like human beings, not objects. And being healthy is a no brainer. It's good for you and makes you feel healthy. This is NOT the same as lift, lift, lift. And for sex, communication is key. I don't know why they're obsessed with anal sex and think that doing it hard=being good at sex. Communication means you're doing things that BOTH you enjoy, and how won't she like that?

TRP really reads like a bunch of very insecure, hateful, immature men who are trying too hard at weird and sometimes harmful ideas.

RedPillDetox · 2017-02-24T14:11:19+00:00

Red Pill has this whole attitude of "feelings are gay, bro" that really benefits no one. Repressing emotions, including the need for intimacy is not healthy and ultimately results in guys with a "i don't give a fuck" attitude that ultimately is nothing but an overcompensation for their lack of feeling emotionally connected to someone.

First things first, quit this idea that all women cheat. This has to be the most pathehtic idea to ever become mainstream. Simply put, your girl won't cheat on you if she's satisfied and did already some moderate investment in the relationship. Only exception is if she's a P.O.S. low on empathy, but these girls are a) exceptions and b) possible to identify before you commit to them (hint: search for high self-steem girls).

Also, you attract what you are. If your behavior is all alpha and abusing, what kind of girl do you think you gonna attract? The ones that like dominant and abusive pricks. What kind of girl do you think that is? Certainly not a mentally healthy one or an high self-steem one.

Even if all women cheated that wouldn't be an excuse for you to cheat. TRP emphasizes that one should stick to his values. They judge the shit out of women who cheat (and probably rightfully so), yet they end up wanting to cheat too? What is that? If they recognize cheating in wrong they should stick to that belief. Yet they don't and it's very hypocrite and against their values.

I think, at first sight, from what you've written that you're a good dde who got caught up on bad shit like Red Pill. Like you, there are hundreds more. If you want to go back to TRP be my guest, but if you want to detox i'm here for you. Frankly, like detoxing from any other vice, detoxing from red pill takes conscious effort. You won't just magically detox one day, out of nothing. IMO, the time is now. Delete your Reddit account, stop going to red pill sites (block them) and hang out here more often and start reading good role models, like Mark Manson.

Mortimer_Snerd · 2017-02-24T12:31:43+00:00

Were you on MRP?

I was briefly a mrper and from my experience, they would tell you to stop obsessing over that, get back in the saddle with a plate, and never let another woman have that much emotional control over you.

I would tell you that you sound like you are in no condition to be in a relationship right now. Your trust was violated and you are hurt by it. I think you need to get that shit out and realize that she hurt you and she is the one to blame here. No other woman deserves to be punished for her actions and your inability to trust is on you and up to you to fix.

As for strategy, I suggest you focus on making yourself better, and using that strength to make others better.

Good luck.

Awpossum · 2017-02-24T12:48:09+00:00

For a filthy prick you sound like a very reasonable person !

I think you make so many good points : dating should be fun, sex is only a part of what's important, what you really need is love (and secure attachment, which is why you and I hate adultery).

Also, you're saying you need love (and I'm guessing support) if you don't want to be red pilling again, right ? I think it takes a good amount of humility, self awareness and confidence to admit that. There's a good amount of users in TRP, and I'm guessing the majority of them are suffering. But instead of supporting each other, sharing their feelings and all these human stuff, they decide to hate women and "beta" men. Sounds a lot like (harmful) triangulation to me.

Anyway, I don't know what I'm saying anymore, so OP, good luck to you, your post really makes me want to know you better so don't hesitate to pm me :)

BrokenArrows95 · 2017-02-24T22:56:51+00:00

People tend to attract people similar to them. If you play mind games, hang out in bars and clubs, and like casual sex, chances are good you'll attract people who do the same. TRP is a self fulfilling cult. The "strategies" are killing their ability to weed out the people most likely to do all the things they live to pin on women.

Apply some critical thinking and you can see TRP has no real scientific backing. It's all ancedotal. Think about this, some women take advantage of the system and claim they have been raped. Some men take advantage of their strength and rape women. Which gender is better?

raziphel · 2017-02-24T17:20:50+00:00

Who's responsibility is it to create good experiences in life?

Society is to an extent, but mostly the individual. You can't control society or other people, but you can control yourself. If you're doing something wrong, take responsibility and fix it. If you have a bad outlook and it's tainting your experiences, address the outlook- looking at the world with shit colored lenses makes everything look like shit, after all. Don't be so stubborn that you see yourself as perfect or above critique- no one is. Just ensure it's constructive critique, and that you're wise enough to understand when and how to improve. You've made mistakes in the past, you'll make mistakes again in the future. We all do. Learn from those mistakes and don't repeat them.

As for dealing with manipulation and abuse: research manipulation techniques so you can recognize and label them when you encounter them, so that you can react accordingly. Similarly, recognizing them ensures that you yourself are not using such terrible tactics. Don't be "that guy" because those people not only cause suffering, they never move past it on their own.

You certainly deserve better, but recognize that others too deserve better as well. Everyone deserves better than that. Therefore, be better.

Investigate the roots of the things that cause you pain and suffering. Sometimes they are reflections of past trauma that hasn't healed. We're all emotional creatures made of meat, fueled by chemicals in our brains and bodies, with only a thin layer of rationality overlaid onto it. To think we're "only" logical creatures is to discount millions of years of evolution in favor of what, a few thousand years of logical development and a few decades, at best, of application? That is a short-sighted approach. Therefore, work to understand your feelings and emotions, learn to communicate those things (to yourself and others) clearly and effectively, and for fuck's sake, be gentle and patient with yourself and others. Life is hard enough without intentionally looking down on people or creating unnecessary suffering.

When in doubt, turn to a professional and ask for advice.

userniko · 2017-03-07T10:01:30+00:00

It's understandable. Women get this mindset too sometimes. A lot of the "manipulative bitches" I've met are girls who never really had male friends, so they don't have a good sense for guys. So they wind up dating red pill guys or just regular abusive assholes. Then after they've been jerked around, lied to, told that they were over emotional and crazy when they said they weren't happy with the mistreatment, etc, they snapped in the same way red pill guys have.
They wind up as misandrists, with the same opinion of men as the other has of them. They're convinced men don't have "real" emotions, that they're stuck at the same level as when they hit puberty. They think men have to be toyed with and controlled to have a successful relationship, that you're either the player or you're getting played.
In reality, they've just been making bad choices when it comes to their partners, and have generalized that to all men.

You sound like you've either been in a good relationship or had one modeled for you, by your parents or someone else close to you. That's something a lot of those that don't believe in a partnership of equals have never witnessed outside of fiction. Perhaps you've also had close friendships with women, which is another thing misogynists tend to lack experience in.
That's a great place to start from. It's what's holding you back from fully believing all that stuff you've been reading. I hope you think about this and realize that the red pill guys can't give you what you're looking for.

Title	I'm considering leaving the red pill
Author	Harkian
Upvotes	25
Comments	13
Date	February 24, 2017 9:31 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/5vwlt8/im_considering_leaving_the_red_pill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/im-considering-leaving-the-red-pill.300322 https://theredarchive.com/post/300322

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