Is it useful to detect "shit tests", and deflect them?

aMaIzYnG · 2017-08-14T18:34:02+00:00

As a woman, I usually only ask someone to hold something if I really need them to. At no point in my life have I ever performed a "shit test", and it's definitely not something we talk about in the locker room.

If a guy is a pushover, his actions usually explain for themselves. If I'm being sexually harassed by someone, and I'm with someone who does nothing about it, then I might think they're a pushover. Also, in a relationship, past the flirting phase, you will inevitably have disagreements. If you don't offer valid reasons to dispute and give in to her, then she might think you're a pushover. That's not to say you always need to pick fights, but if you legit disagree on something, then speak up.

Edit: i probably have some brain damage from a recent car accident.

AnarchyshitpostBOT · 2017-08-14T19:48:14+00:00

I challenge the idea of a shit test.

The idea, iirc, is that a women will intentionally test her boundaries with you. Ask you to do shit, ask you to break your own rules, etc. The aim of this game is to establish a dominance hierarchy; if she can get you to do the small things early (pay for her shit, cancel plans without notice, etc) she will be able to own you later.

Right? Not quite.

The issue I have here is the intentionality implicit in the idea of a shit test. In TRP land, if you say no to a shit test, the women will smarten up and stop trying to play you; you have asserted dominance and will be rewarded accordingly (with respect, sex, etc). The ultimate take away is that women are conniving, so you can be conniving too.

Aside from the fact that this is very cynical and guarantees your relationships will be based on a mutual hostility, it also just doesn't add up; why would somebody go to the effort to test you, especially if they just met you? Have you ever been at a party and attempted to boss people around? It won't go well. And while one could argue that shit tests happen later on, that makes even less sense; you're both already invested, what reason does one have to rock the boat?

Only psychos would shit test. Is that really who you want to be with?

Now I want to be clear, this isn't to say there aren't people out there who do engage in this kind of demanding behaviour; but I don't think that's intentional or correctable (and why would you want to go to that length?)

Let's bring back the idea of the red flag: if somebody is pushy and demanding, they're probably not that great. That's not a shit test, that's having enough respect for yourself to know what you're worth and not wasting your time on people that you feel aren't treating you right.

raziphel · 2017-08-15T15:06:19+00:00

Shit tests don't exist nearly as frequently as rp would like you to think. taking a combative approach to dating is not helpful and counter-productive.

They do this because their entire platform exists to hate on women and put them down. Making guys defensive about imaginary slights creates a sense of hostility and distrust that is more likely to end the relationship/date, which reinforces their own rhetoric. They also push this rhetoric specifically because it makes others appear manipulative instead of themselves- a standard responsibility-shifting tactic used by abusers.

Use your best judgment, but most people are not manipulative or abusive, nor controlling. By most I mean almost all. I've been dating for 20 years, and this has never been an issue.

RedMedi · 2017-08-16T10:10:08+00:00

"Shit tests" are things only worth worrying about if you aren't the real deal and pretend you are something you are not. Bravado and arrogance without the competence to back it up is shady and that makes people uneasy.

ravelincolor · 2017-08-29T02:44:48+00:00

Asking for a hand is a shit test?

RedPillDetox · 2017-08-14T17:58:25+00:00

You only need to worry about "shit tests" if you're performing. Given that a "shit test" is a test to your "frame". If you're a congruent person with yourself (that is, you're not trying to play "alpha" whatsoever) then you don't have to worry about "shit tests".

With this said, i do believe that you should demand respect from women at times and not be a push over. But that's really not a matter of "holding frame", it's just a matter of being a normal healthy human being.

Title	Is it useful to detect "shit tests", and deflect them?
Author	speckledpill
Upvotes	2
Comments	23
Date	August 14, 2017 5:20 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/6tnwfq/is_it_useful_to_detect_shit_tests_and_deflect_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-it-useful-to-detect-shit-tests-and-deflect-them.300204 https://theredarchive.com/post/300204

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