Sharing My Thoughts on Modern Masculinity

Lookingbackexpat · 2026-08-05T05:11:53+00:00

Do you think men are more obsessed with being “masculine” or “manly” than they need to be? I don’t remember ever spending much time trying to define or become “feminine” or “womanly.” How to be an adult, a good person, a good parent, a good teacher, a good writer, yes. But not a “real woman” that’s just such an alien preoccupation. It seems like a lot of pressure, to be constantly measuring yourself against gender stereotypes instead of just becoming the best human being you can be.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2026-08-04T21:14:34+00:00

The modern world is more urbanized or suburbian, a weird masculinity defining challenge in the modern world is that most of us do not have to do physical struggles to survive. We do not have to kill poison snakes and things that might eat us. We don't chop our own wood, that is industrialized and we buy chopped wood. We buy our meat from the store.

If you take a look, a lot of people getting drawn to the redpill over masculinity identity problems is that they spend most of their free time in front of a computer. I could easily tell them to stop, but as a society where we no longer have to guard our villages from tigers and stuff, I can not really give a good justification to tell them to stop.

I am not complaining about modernization, but I do not think the culture, especially a definition of masculinity, caught up to it.

I notice the more performative masculinity influencers, redpillers, various right wing nonsensical groups, try using construction and lumberjack and physical labor aesthetics while getting them wrong, like a larp of masculinity. It looks staged. There was a video of Jordan Peterson giving his speech in front of a staged pile of logs (all perfectly cut, equal thickness) to make it look like he cut them all himself. This is performative nonsense, but it is intentionally chosen because these grifters know what itch their target audience wants to scratch.

On a more silly example, look up classic "men's life" magazines. These were written after world war 2. They feature covers and stories of manly men facing off against animals, many of which are unintentionally hilarious. You can even take it as an unintentional parody of masculinity. But you do get an idea of deep down ways guys want to seem themselves, even in an industrial modern world.

thisisn0tavery · 2026-08-06T02:23:49+00:00

This is a lovely mission, best of luck to you.

I see what some are saying about removing gendered terms like masculinity from the conversation, but from what I understand, your services are more targeted towards men who are indoctrinated into the Red Pill, and who’s sense of worth is based in their masculinity. I think it’s actually quite important to use language like that which is familiar to them so they aren’t entering a space feeling alienated, especially a space that I image can be quite vulnerable.

Not just encouraging men to leave the Red Pill but also offering an alternative is great and what I think is needed—the feeling of a lack of alternatives or that you’re going to lose your community is probably a big reason why many men remain stuck for so long.

I hope that men in other communities start initiatives like this!

Fang-Ghost · 2026-08-09T15:33:45+00:00

When I first informed myself on the redpill, this is what I saw and this is what had drawned me in.

It was the first time I was really inspired to become a better man. At least it was the first time that what I was doing made me feel better, that it gave me self-esteem.

The problems came when I started to believe that women were not honest with themselves and not honest with men. I started to mistrust every woman and started to think that it was either they saw me as weak and would not treat me well or I had to be emotionally unavailable for them to see me and respect me.

I'm glad you are not throwing the baby with the bath water. Men's self-improvement is essential if we want a thriving society. The mysoginist ideas are going against that same self-improvement

Alseebee · 2026-08-10T16:08:30+00:00

I do exactly the same. I am actively looking for ways to try and get people out of this bs. I am so glad I found this sub and thank all the community for being respectful and constructive. I love it here.

Title	Sharing My Thoughts on Modern Masculinity
Author	mattystevenson
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	August 4, 2026 8:49 PM UTC (1 week ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1vfmkzj/sharing_my_thoughts_on_modern_masculinity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/sharing-my-thoughts-on-modern-masculinity.1631941 https://theredarchive.com/post/1631941

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