Status hit?

softnmushy · 2022-08-29T03:44:52+00:00

Yes, reduced social status makes both men and women less attractive. High social status is generally attractive (unless a person is intimidated, which often happens with beauty, smarts, wealth, etc.) so reducing status makes you less attractive. But different people are attracted to different things, so it may not matter on an individual level.

From my experience, women aren’t really into guys being emotionally vulnerable until you’re already in a relationship. Then, it can help a lot.

However, I imagine there are more mature women, like in their 30s or 40s, who are so sick of dating emotionally unavailable men that they are interested in figuring out that stuff out earlier in the dating process.

vcreativ · 2022-08-29T09:20:23+00:00

I don't even know what a status hit is. And even if I did, I suspect that my definition would differ from yours.

I guess if you lose your job then just for yourself your predominant aim should be to gain employment again, not to fuck around as it were. I honestly can't blame anyone for viewing it that way.

Status exists, but outside of a few downward limiters it's not as meaningful as some might think. Having a job as well as the capacity to keep one is a good starting point even on a mental health perspective.

Everyone desires emotionally maturity. But not everyone knows how to identify the traits quickly or at all. And not everyone has their other drives in control in the moments where it matters. So don't be too impressed by the choices people make.

Everyone is vulnerable. But vulnerability is hard earned. Because what's meant by it isn't the state of being capable of being hurt and/or weak, only people with disorders are "safe" from this. Rather, it's an openness associated with being able to point to and be aware of the literal chinks in your armor without losing your mind.

Literally, it's sharing "this is a point where I am weakest".

The reason this greatly affects relationships is layered. For one trust begets trust, practically always. Openness begets openness, also. These are relational connectors.

But even more so, you really only can be openly vulnerable if you understand that anyone taking a stab at your literal weakest point isn't actually capable of devastating you. That's what freaks people out about it. And greatly impresses them at the same time.

And the capacity to deal with that well and with grace. Someone literally poking at your weakest point, after you sharing what that is. That is true strength.

Razzmatazz-Entire · 2022-08-29T06:42:00+00:00

I've actually thought about this, and whether or not it's true, it's an impossible standard to keep up with. LIFE IS HARD and full of issues, you will take a status hit in life, more than once, that's a fact. If you don't then it's because you have not chosen anything in life that's worth doing. And that's not to say for anything else that can happen in your life, your dog died, your child got sick, think about it. If you can't trust your girlfriend or wife to stick by you during that moment then you have some issues. You must trust her to stick by you during those moments, and even lean on her, just a little bit but not much. Rely on yourself mainly, and make sure you get it over with quick because chronic misery really is a waste of time. Don't be stuck in eternal misery, it's ok to have a moment of weakness but you should get back up strong the next day and be back on your mission. Being stuck in chronic illness is not the way to go, not because women don't like it, but because it's just not the best thing to do. Women haven't got much tolerance for chronically sad men, but that's because no one does, life doesn't, it's just not the way to go, how are you gonna show up to work like that? You think you'll be of much use? Its not about manning up, it's about being smart in life. One thing that gets me out of the RP mindset is to always notice that these things that we say only women do, men do them too, they're kindof like facts of life, facts of nature. And people unconsciously keep you accountable, they frown when you lose your job, or when you do something wrong, they help you when you're down, and they expect you to respond and get back to normal...

incredulitor · 2022-08-30T16:00:57+00:00

Research on relationships points towards a spectrum of how "traditional" or not people would like for their role in a relationship and their partner(s)' to look. Being Christian and seeking a Christian partner almost certainly moves the average of that to the traditional direction... but it doesn't eliminate variability. You can probably find Christian groups supporting relationships just about anywhere on the spectrum from traditional to non.

But yeah, speaking extremely generally, I believe that mainstream Christian culture as a whole is not really a force promoting male display, ownership of and processing of emotions. If you want it to be that, that probably just means a bit of extra work on your part to seek out one of the groups that makes it that.

This might or might not be the case in your region or subculture, but I also think it's fairly obvious that mainstream culture surrounding Christianity has been moving consistently in the direction of acceptability of male emotionality and vulnerability for the last, oh I dunno, 50 years, and accelerating in the last 10 or 20. You do get to decide what you want your particular brand of conservatism to be, but as a broader social phenomenon, almost by definition social conservatism is going to trail along behind that broader trend. On the upside, you have the power as someone who believes what you believe and practices what you practice to try to bring what good you see in broader trends into alignment with your beliefs in your own personal life. That would seem to me to be a kind of leadership that I would expect at least some people to find attractive.

Title	Status hit?
Author	BondJamesBondx12
Upvotes	6
Comments	6
Date	August 29, 2022 3:32 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/x0ef0q/status_hit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/status-hit.1130925 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130925

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