Tinder Advice Needed

Windrider91 · 2023-01-30T19:05:38+00:00

In my own experience, three days is not anywhere near too soon to ask to meet up. How soon "too soon" may be is subjective, I generally say that if y'all are having a pretty strong conversation and hit a natural pause, go for it.

Tinder is a depressing and confusing place most of the time, for every date that's actually happened, I've had several conversations that seemed to be going okay only for the other to suddenly lose interest. It might've not even been something you did, it could've been that she started messaging somebody she was more interested in, it could be she's going through a depressive episode and meeting up isn't worth the spent energy, and she might just be afraid that any direct rejection is gonna be met with harrassment. People are complex creatures with a myriad of personal issues and motivations, and having that additional digital layer of separation between two parties dehumanizes the experience of meeting up and dating somebody even further, and on top of that, these dating apps are designed to keep you engaged so you're more likely to spend money. So the app plays this exhausting game with your self esteem where you needs to feeling just good enough about yourself to keep trying, but not so good that you immediately meet somebody and stop using the app. If you're having this experience, give it a break for a while. I stopped using the app in April of last year, and within a week I was already beating myself up so much less. I've considered getting back on it, but I've had pretty good success offline since and the idea of setting up a new account and going through that whole song and dance again just feels so preemptively exhausting.

willstdumichstressen · 2023-01-30T18:58:24+00:00

I don’t think so, people on dating apps often act like this. I think it’s not the best place to meet people to be honest

Complete-Permit-9536 · 2023-01-30T21:04:35+00:00

DELETE TINDER!!!! ITS FULL OF NARRCISTIC MEN AND WOMEN! srsly though the only reason majority of people use Twitter is to hookup, if you want to actually have something meaningful and healthy go out there in the world socialize and find a nice girl. Also looks attract personality keeps you, dont ignore red flags becuase they are pretty and be respectful

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2023-01-31T01:16:51+00:00

We made casual small talk about our lives, mostly revolving around our jobs.

You didn't make a connection that was noteworthy, and then wanted to progress to occupying her physical space.

I asked if she wanted to meet up and she said she was busy that weekend, but would be in my city this Monday.

Did you talk after this?

As a woman, I wouldn't want to put myself in the presence of a stranger, if I don't have undeniable connection or chemistry towards them, first.

Naus1987 · 2023-01-31T02:01:14+00:00

Maybe she didn’t want to drive. People are less likely to do you favors if it requires they do work.

She may be tempted to match with others who’ll meet her.

Sad-Insurance3847 · 2023-01-30T19:17:38+00:00

When something like this happens you should ask yourself the following question: "If I were Justin Bieber would she have acted the same?". You have to keep in mind that even bellow average girls get 100+ matches on that app very easily so you're just one profile in a sea of others. You haven't done anything wrong, but this happened because you're some average dude most likely. Tinder is only worth your time if you're an above average dude in multiple areas.

mina_starcat · 2023-01-31T14:51:57+00:00

Depends on how you talked to her. Personally for me, three days is way too soon but other people dislike when they aren't being asked out. So they often wanna meet up earlier.

meghan518 · 2023-01-31T16:26:34+00:00

Probably not anything you're doing (but if you want better feedback you can post screenshots).

remember dating is just about finding compatibility. We are not going to be compatible with most people, That's OK. Any dropping off in the first 3-6 dates is pretty normal. Sometimes it's distance, personalities don't seem to click, not as attracted as we thought, getting busy in life ect.. Don't take it too personally.

I like meeting up very quickly as I hate wasting time texting, others prefer to text and call a few days/weeks before meeting up. There's no exact science and everyone is different.

Title	Tinder Advice Needed
Author	StunningCategory7543
Upvotes	4
Comments	33
Date	January 30, 2023 6:37 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/10pa8t2/tinder_advice_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/tinder-advice-needed.1150670 https://theredarchive.com/post/1150670

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