Spoiler: not a ‘relationship’ story, but one with a few green flags.

I’ve been helping my mom with her renovation project, and we’ve had to deal with a whole host of LVM contractors/ electricians etc. Typical misogynistic middle aged duds who can’t deal with women clients and make all sorts of inane excuses. It would be super awesome if there were more women in the construction biz, but that’s a post for another day.

So, I wasn’t holding my breath when I had to work with the movers to get stuff across a few different places. I really hate moving, but I had a really good experience this afternoon.

The head mover especially stood out, and it reminded me that there are guys with high value qualities out there:

He was patient and obliging - No misogynistic, not-gonna-listen-because-you’re-female attitude. My mom and I are particular because we have a lot of antiques/ old furniture. Everything was can do, let’s get it done. Even my mom commented on how hardworking and obliging the team was.

He was a problem solver/ knew when to take charge - He knew his shit and how to take care of things. He didn’t just wait for us to tell him what to do, he was able to articulate clearly his moving plans or be upfront if he needed more time. Seems like his team really respected him and had a good dynamic. He was also reassuring when my mom was worried our stuff wouldn’t fit in the new storage space.

Enterprising and ambitious - We got some time alone, as he was helping move some furniture into my storage space and he told me about what he’s been doing in the past few years, his business, working hours, and his future plans. It was nice to chat w a guy around my age who didn’t just want to go into finance/ stockbroking, become the next Elon Musk/ make easy money. Moving is hard, honest work that actually provides a beneficial service, and if you can make something out of this, more power to you. Also, not once was he leery or made me feel uncomfortable.

And the cherry on top was that he looked really good while he worked. Call me old fashioned, but there’s something sexy about a man who can make lifting super heavy things look easy. And he was tall, handsome (like a younger Tom Selleck), with really square shoulders (perks of the job?)

Obviously I don’t know this person, and it’s unlikely we’ll cross paths again. But what I’m very longwindedly trying to say is that there are men with high value qualities, and that we should never settle for anyone who doesn’t meet our worth.

A man with high value qualities will make your life easier in all aspects - even if they’re not in a relationship with you. Conversely, a LVM will come up with all sorts of inane, patronizing excuses that to cover up their inabilities or insecurities.

And for the male lurkers out there, you can be masculine and gentle. Just be yourself, be helpful and genuine. Like that’s really it. It’s not rocket science.