My god. R/Breakingmom was extremely depressing when I first stumbled on it but this sub is almost at par.

One common theme I noticed was men giving them "promise rings" when they know their girlfriends wanted an engagement ring 🙄. So many post are of women stressing, crying and getting angry that their boyfriends won't propose. Excuses ranged from , + Covid + They're not mentally there yet + Not at the height of their career yet + Don't understand why they need to make it legal + Don't want to be pressured into it. + Not ready to commit. + Blah Blah Blah after 5 long years.

The mods there also have a post where women can not come back and post their engagement rings because it will hurt the feelings of the other women still waiting after 6, 10, 13 years.

Anyways, I read through a lot of their post and as expected, FDS could have mitigated a lot of it.

  1. If YOU want marriage as an end goal, that needs to be clearly expressed in the beginning. It's cool if you both don't initially want it and than decide to get married afterwards. However if you know from the get go marriage is what you want, only date men that are on the same page as you!

  2. Don't live with them. Don't cook for them. Don't do any wife related actions for them. Until they show you that they are ready to commit ( an no a promise ring ain't it sis), they don't get to enjoy any benefits that come from a marriage

  3. Don't financially rely on a man you are dating! I read some post of women relying on their boyfriends ( and vice versa) because of their bad credit/debt etc. Nope. Get your money in order first. This is how codependency and the potential of financial abuse starts.

  4. Probably the most important but if he doesn't plan to marry you in 1.5-2 years MAX, cut your loses and dip. This requires a lot of strength but is doable.

If there's more feel free to add it. R/Waiting _to_wed is another sub that is an important reminder on why setting boundaries, having higher self-worth and not relying on men/marriage for your happiness is so needed among more women.

Overall, I wish those women happiness whether it's finally getting an actual engagement ring or moving on.