Long story short, I have dependent personality disorder (DPD) and I am in a really bad relationship. My boyfriend has a lot of issues, some of which he has taken out on me and has quite literally traumatized me. I won't go into too much detail, but he has a porn addiction (although he'd never acknowledge that) a drug addict ion and several other issues. The things he has done to me and put me through has completely destroyed my self esteem, I'm no longer able to go out with friends, I am constantly negative because he has been very controlling of who I could speak to about my issues, even saying I couldn't write in my diary.

We went to a therapist together and we decided to go on a break because he wanted to leave me and no longer felt any respect or attraction towards me. During this, he's been completely alright whereas I am just a complete mess. I haven't slept in almost 3 days, instead I've just been up crying and trying not to contact him (and I've failed several times already). If you're unfamiliar with DPD, I have a very wrong and slightly disturbing way of viewing the world. I can't be left alone without panicking, I struggle with panic attacks, general anxiety and depression because I have an extreme urge to be with my boyfriend at all times and I constantly worry about being good enough for him. ( I am not seeing a therapist about my DPD though, so I'm very alone in dealing with this)

Obviously, I am aware that most of you would tell me to just dump his ass, but I can't do that. Instead, we're taking a break to work on ourselves and get better so we can make our relationship work. I want to start learning how to value and love myself, instead of just being okay with being treated like shit and walked all over. I have no idea on how to set boundaries or remove myself from situations that upsets me or hurts me.

I guess I was just wondering if there was anyone else on this sub that is dealing with DPD too, and maybe get a few words of encouragement or tips to get started?