Body Positivity - Need Help

AutomaticNopeMachine · 2021-07-14T17:21:44+00:00

Are you in contact with anyone who’s a bad influence, negging or subtly negging? If so, grey rock or better block and delete them. That includes deleting social media. If your situation allows, therapy is key for body issues. Other than that, I’ve found that engaging in consuming esthetics for myself - going to museums, the cinema and looking at good looking men - is healing as it shifts my perspective from the mirror to the outer world.

radfemmd · 2021-07-14T17:19:07+00:00

I completely understand your feelings on this, and I’m currently working on it myself. It is extremely hard to unlearn all of the socialization and toxic ideologies we’ve been exposed to. The fact that you’re open to change shows how far you have come so please don’t discredit yourself.

What has helped me is realizing that my body is just that- a body. My body does so much more than just being a starting point for my appearance. It heals itself when I’m sick. It gives me the energy to move and enjoy things about life. Realizing that my body is here for me to LIVE helped me realize that I need to treat it the way it has carried me through life.

Instead of punishing my body for not looking a certain way, I paid attention to when it felt good and when it felt bad. I stopped doing the things that made it feel bad and did more of the things that made it feel good and made me feel good. This not only included food. It included sleep, exercise, showering, etc. I realized I started feeling more rested after waking up in the morning, happier, and less concerned with what the scale said because I FELT good.

It’s obviously not as easy as it is writing it all out. I still have my days of course, but taking my most back as MINE and not something for someone else’s consumption really helped me get in touch with my innermost feelings and needs. Now I don’t seek those needs elsewhere (like excess food, sex, or over exercise as a punishment).

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-07-14T17:31:29+00:00

I recommend weight lifting. You get stronger and the emphasis isn’t on just getting tinier like with aerobics. When I lifted, I connected to what my body could do and how it was strong. Plus, you can’t starve yourself or you won’t get stronger. I found my relationship w food was better as I started to view it as fuel for my muscles and not a value judgment against myself.

kinkardine · 2021-07-14T17:56:09+00:00

I had a few epiphanies,

I used to take grief therapy after my hubby passed away, and every time I said something bad about me, subtle ways of beating myself up, my psychologist used to point that out to me. I started to notice how I converse with myself, I never ever project an ideal image of me and beat myself up over it, I decided I would just accept me and love me, the whole wild world is out there to judge me- it’s not my job.
I found if I fluctuate my diet and exercise habit a lot, my body stops trusting me and store every bit of energy it can, as a result I get fat with every transition. I am trying to have a heart healthy steady diet, and a sustainable exercise routine that I can do everyday, even for half an hour. So my body trusts me again and spends the energy that I consume.
I do not eat anything that I do not like. I do not understand whenever we like to bring any positive change to our life why we have to deprive us? depriving ourselves is not sustainable.
when it came to dating, I found some men ask me first if I am a calorie counter, i have a bunch of male friends whose primary fear was what will happen if there partner did not like food as much as they like. I am a foodie, and I connect with food, so I always go for foodie friend and partner. Yes there has to be a balance and self care. My hubby was lean like a deer but he had extremely sedentary lifestyle, I was always heavy but I am active and outdoorsy. Now I look for what lifestyle the person brings- that matters a lot. When it comes to sex, I started dating after I became mom, with lots of stretch marks and weight, I did found enjoying the time bed is much more different than looking good in bed.
yea there will always be more person searching for arm candy to show off to the world, I am not looking for them anyway, I look for some self awareness, that comes with self love, and a communication spectrum. Once you tune you tune.
and last of all if someone wants to stay he will stay, I can’t make a person stay shredding my body fat.

Title	Body Positivity - Need Help
Author	Woman_on_Pause
Upvotes	11
Comments	6
Date	July 14, 2021 4:54 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ok8hum/body_positivity_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/body-positivity-need-help.791356 https://theredarchive.com/post/791356

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