I've seen advice regarding letting men pick the date, time and location for a potential date made well in advance. I think this is great advice because it lets women know that the man is serious about the date.

But I feel I (23f) can't really employ it given my lifestyle. I have always provided the date, time and location for my dates. And 60% of the time, I give the guys last minute notices.

My reasons are the following.

Location : I need to be able to provide the location for the dates, especially for the first few initial dates out of concern for safety and also my convenience. I always set up a date in a coffee shop close to my house, so that if the date is boring / the guy is creeping me out / I feel unsafe / any reason I don't want to continue the date; I can easily make an excuse and get home quickly, safely and easily.

If I let him choose a location and that's too far from my house, I won't be comfortable. What if it's difficult to get cabs in the area and I have to depend on him to get me home?

Also, I never tell the guy where I live until much later.

Nothing has ever happened to me but I'm just a little paranoid about these things because of news and stories from other people. And I feel it is my safety measures that have prevented anything bad from happening to me.

So no new, unfamiliar restaurants or places. No far away locations.

Time & Date : Initially, I am not ready to sacrifice my weekends for a date with a guy. Absolutely not. I usually have a lot of plans with friends for weekends, that are mostly decided by Wednesday. Else, I have a lot of solo plans like hobbies & solo trips.

Given this situation, I can never spare a weekend for a guy, at least not initially.

So what I do, is I set a date and time according to my convenience during the week. I have a 8hr, 9-5 job which sometimes becomes 10-6 or 11-7 depending on the work. Whenever I get off work on a weekday and am in the mood to go on a date, I text the guy the time, place and date, 1 hour prior to the date. They agree to this 90% of the time. And I get a date at my convenience & at the location I am comfortable in.

After I feel the guy is ok, I allow dates on the weekends which I inform them need to be made before Wednesday because I'll be booked otherwise. It's very easy for them to accept this because they do see my social media posts filled with pictures of the things I did on the weekend. And they always end up making plans in advance.

But again, I choose the time and place according to my convenience. It just has to be that way. Once, I chose a place close to my friends house just so I could visit her after the date and have a productive weekend. That's just how I'm wired. I can't move my plans around to fit a guy at the time he wants.

So I feel if I let the guy take the lead and make the plan, I might have to adjust to that. Sure, I can say no to his offer and then suggest my own time & place. But how many times can I really do this though, before he notices that I always turn down his ideas and I always choose the time & location convenient for me.

At Least when I take the lead, they simply comply and seem to be oblivious that I'm having it my way. They usually feel like it's hard to spend time with me given my busy schedule and agree to my terms. I like it that way.

So I can't employ the advice of letting the man pick the date, time and location for a potential date.

What are your thoughts?