Hello everyone! I've been lurking for a few days. 21, at a top college, dumped 4 months ago by bf of 2 years who I had hoped would be my life partner. I have solid career and life prospects and interests and I'm probably a 7/10 in looks. Graduating this year, need to work hard, but distracted by how lonely and horny I am. Since the dumping, have been on a lot of Tinder dates, mostly the men are v disappointing. The first one I went on back 4 months ago was with the only guy I found attractive, went on a 2nd date with or slept with. We got on well, slept together on 3rd date, it was great, he was very respectful and consensual. We always paid our own on dates... have learned from this sub that's to be avoided. He wanted to see me again the night after we slept together and I slept over. Had great sex 3 times that night, was great. Then after that he got more flakey with dates. I'd always be the one asking, he'd cancel because he was anxious/overworked, after sex he'd leave because he was tired. I set a standard - you have to sleep over after sex, I need cuddles. I started going on dates with other people but they were all trash, while still occasionally seeing him, not always for sex if he felt like he couldn't sleep over. Then he was gonna move back to his state after finishing his course, and asked what we were. Was relieved I didn't think we were in a relationship, said he wasn't ready for one having got out of a long one recently. I was like... this is obvious because you're moving back to your state in a few days.

Two months have passed, I've not found anyone else attractive. Still fantasise about the sex a lot. Better than my ex, plus thinking about the ex I loved makes me sad. Was fantasising the other day and looked at pics of him on Tinder - he was a mile away! Messaged him on FB and discovered he'd moved back the day before for a possible job which he's now got. He's in the area, and he's good at sex, and I really want sex, and there's basically no-one else on the horizon I want sex with (there's one absolute fuckboy I know who's attractive, but that's the only other man I know and find attractive enough to contemplate sex with). But texting him is always me chasing him, him cancelling a couple of times, eventually seeing him, him probably leaving straight after sex. I feel like at this point I want sex more than I don't want him to emotionally hurt me in this way, but I'm also aware I want to be finding a long-term partner who I can have kids with in the next few years, and who'll cuddle me most nights, and so I'm not sure if I should put myself through trying to have sex with him again. I think I probably need a good talking to from r/femaledatingstrategy before I basically beg this man to have sex with me and deplete me emotionally. Any advice on finding a good long-term partner or dealing with productivity-crippling horniness would also be welcome. I've moved onto Bumble from Tinder which seems potentially better with the filters.