Right now I’m separated and seeking divorce. I’ve been married twice for a grand total of 17 years, with these men for 20. My current husband is an active alcoholic who refuses to get help beyond what’s court ordered for DV. He thinks it was all a “misunderstanding” and he “only drinks on weekends so he’s fine”. Never mind that he gets sloppy drunk and sometimes drives. And when he drinks, he’s always a self-centered asshole.

So why would I be devastated when he finally ended it and moved on (replaced me when I set firm boundaries)? I guess I’ve been conditioned my whole life to believe failed marriages, especially more than one, means you’re a failure as a woman. I didn’t want him back, but felt horrible about being alone at my age.

But now, after reading all the info on this sub, I feel empowered! I honestly felt my depression lift after I binge read everything about FDS over a couple of days. I see now that the culture I was raised in is to blame, and it’s wrong!!! I am valuable, I am strong, I can do whatever I want to do! At this point, I’ve neglected myself and my dreams for so long that I only see relationships as a waste of time, because for me they really were. Now I’m putting my energy into myself and my business, planning on traveling after covid, maybe I’ll even build my dream home! WTF have I been waiting for a good man to help me do this???