This was in response to some questions, but I thought I would make it a quick post (apologies for formatting, on phone, etc.):

Establishing a baseline of behavior is SO important because context can explain a situation. This is why FDS advice to constantly vet is remarkable in its effectiveness and simplicity.

Some basics:

Lying, even habitually, isn't natural to people. They will self sooth. Watch to make sure actions match words. For example, someone says something and then covers their mouth. Or starts stroking their arms. This is pacifying behavior to soothe for the lying.

If someone can't sustain eye contact/stares, they have trouble bonding. Again, a baseline is needed generally because there could be many reasons for that. Age and culture could play a part, for example. As a middle aged woman, I find younger people don't look at people as directly as my peers do.

Dating books are great because they teach a lot of body language basics and break them down. Can't think of any off the top of my head, but I did see some in the reading list. Gift of Fear is excellent although it's written by a man who has been condescending to women in interviews. Why Does He Do That is also excellent with the same caveat. Joe Navarro, John Douglas, any ex CIA or FBI author usually have great and interesting books on situational awareness and safety.

FDS says no walking dates or coffee dates. Besides valuing your time, this is especially great advice because these activities don't give you time to observe a person properly. It takes about 20 minutes for a person to relax and changes in body language can be revealing. How they sit in their seat. How they take up space. How they choose their seat. Basically, an actual date gives you time to assess whether the other person respects you or not.

We are socialized to ignore our gut instincts. As I mentioned previously, everyone is a profiler. If your gut tells you something is off, it IS! You just can't put your finger on it in the moment. Our autonomic systems are highly refined to sense danger.

The BEST defenses are: 1) Know yourself. Strengths and weaknesses. Keep leveling up. 2) Knowledge is power. Read about body language, PUA, Red Pill, etc to learn about the dangers out there. If something is triggering, put it down and come back to it later. There's no shame in it. I have dealt with murderers and rapists in prison for over 10 years, and another 10 of field work, and I can't get through some books about domestic violence or novels sometimes. 3) As mentioned, develop situational awareness. Women always have it to some degree. Be intentional though. 4) If you're HV, be with other HV people. It's safer and less stressful. Curate your friends and family. Don't take damage or crap from LV or NV people. 5) Love yourself. You are always stuck with you for life, guaranteed. Loving yourself means taking care of yourself in all ways: health, safety, education. Always keep working on that. Forgive yourself.

I hope I answered some questions, at least! Stay strong, Queens!