Ever since the creation of the Female Dating Strategy (FDS) subreddit in February 2019, there has been much debate over how to best define the type of feminism that FDS represents. FDS borrows considerably from radical feminism— “radical” meaning “root” in that we acknowledge the patriarchal roots of inequality between men and women. Patriarchy is a system in which men as a class dominate women as a class, and in which men use their power over women to privilege themselves and to extract sexual, reproductive, domestic, and emotional labor from women.

We often say that “FDS is a strategy, not an ideology” in that we welcome women from all political backgrounds, and because we focus on practical strategies to ruthlessly advance women’s interests. Our goal is maximizing female benefit, regardless if she wants to be a career woman, a stay-at-home mother, or somewhere in between. However... it has become increasingly clear that our ruthless and strategic approach to female advancement is a feminist movement in its own right.

The term we propose: Feminist Realism. Female Dating Strategy is the feminist application of Realpolitik much in the same way that liberal feminism is the feminist application of liberalism... The concept of Realpolitik emerged in the context of the 19th century collision between Enlightenment-era liberal idealism, and the brutal realities of power politics. Likewise, FDS emerged in the context of the 21st century collision between liberal feminist idealism and the brutal realities of male power and patriarchy. A feminist application of Realpolitik therefore focuses on practical strategies to increase female power, as opposed to liberal feminism which strives for equality, or radical feminism which strives for female liberation.

An unfortunate reality of current male-female relations is that female power is extremely taboo. Or, women are only given power (“empowered”) if it serves male interests... Women’s self-preservation instincts are beaten out of us from a young age, both literally and figuratively, whereas men and boys are encouraged to seek status and compete for power... This double standard is as old as patriarchy itself, and is a deliberate strategy to declaw women and make us feel immense guilt, fear, and shame at the thought of wielding power.

Instead of power, liberal feminists often talk about “empowerment”— that porn, prostitution, and appealing to the male gaze makes them feel empowered. “Empowerment” is defined as “authority or power given to someone to do something” meaning that the power is granted by a higher authority for a specific purpose. The liberal feminist vision of “empowerment” is not true female power because it is dependent on male patronage, and is conditional on serving male interests.

A similar phenomenon occurs in traditional cultures where marriage is the only way that women can obtain security for herself and for her children. Right wing women believe that by submitting to her husband and offering him various caretaking and sexual services, that he will respond in kind by protecting and providing for her. Unfortunately, traditional men don’t always hold up their end of the bargain; and when they do, the security he provides her comes with the heavy cost of sacrificing her freedom and decision-making power.

Both liberalism and traditionalism mislead women into believing that women benefit from cooperating with men and serving male interests. Feminist Realism asserts that for every crumb of benefit that women receive as reward for serving male interests, men get the entire loaf. Why settle for crumbs when we can take over the entire bakery?

Read the full article on the FDS website here