TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Fun_Sherbet Archive

View 63 posts and 971 comments by Fun_Sherbet on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1423

STAY WOKEFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 09:59 PM
1258

REMINDER 👑Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 05:15 AM
1246

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 01:34 AM
1069

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 02:34 AM
1058

QUEEN SH*TFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 07:49 PM
831

NICE FOR WHAT?Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:10 AM
745

LVM LOGICFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 10:05 PM
628

ROAST-A-SCROTEFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 08:03 PM
578

REMINDER 👑Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:01 PM
528

RED FLAG 🚨Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 08:32 AM
511

NICE FOR WHAT?Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 04:52 AM
475

STAY WOKEFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 03:36 AM
472

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 12:33 AM
459

DISCUSSIONFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 01:56 AM
454

LESSON LEARNEDFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:32 AM
450

GLOBAL RESISTANCEFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 06:41 AM
423

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 06:15 AM
422

REMINDER 👑Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 06:40 AM
416

QUEEN SH*TFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 05:02 AM
412

GLOBAL RESISTANCEFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 05:35 AM
402

DISCUSSIONFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 07:13 AM
393

STRATEGYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 02:44 AM
389

REMINDER 👑Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 09:02 PM
383

LEVEL UPFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:59 AM
376

DISCUSSIONFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 01:01 AM
372

GLOBAL RESISTANCEFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:33 PM
341

REMINDER 👑Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 06:01 AM
293

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 08:58 PM
255

NAH, SISFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 05:35 AM
230

DISCUSSIONFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 06:20 PM
211

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 08:51 PM
205

Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 05:10 AM
194

NICE FOR WHAT?Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 04:55 AM
179

Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:23 AM
173

DISCUSSIONFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 07:41 PM
172

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 10:00 PM
151

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 07:21 AM
143

Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 07:12 AM
136

QUEEN SH*TFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 03:48 AM
131

SOCIAL GROUP STRATEGYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 06:45 PM
124

PICKME CULTUREFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:35 PM
113

LEVEL UPFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 10:05 PM
111

LEVEL UPFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 11:27 PM
95

REMINDER 👑Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:43 AM
81

WHOLESOME CONTENTFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:19 AM
75

GLOBAL RESISTANCEFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 05:29 AM
70

DISCUSSIONFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:42 AM
52

Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 05:15 AM
43

#JustLVMThingsFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:48 PM
40

BOOK REPORTFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 03:10 AM
8

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:16 AM
7

SHOWER THOUGHTFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:21 AM
1

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 02:27 AM
1

STRATEGYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 12:19 AM
1

REMINDER 👑Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 10:05 PM
1

MALE DEPRAVITYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:18 AM
1

ROAST-A-SCROTEFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:39 AM
1

CULTURAL MISOGYNYFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 07:54 PM
1

REMINDER 👑Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 09:31 AM
1

RED FLAG 🚨Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:01 PM
1

MESSAGE FOR MALE LURKERSFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 10:13 PM
1

RED FLAG 🚨Fun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 10:47 PM
1

DISCUSSIONFun_Sherbet/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 09:08 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
62

True as fuck."There’s so much soulless mimicry in male photographer’s photos of women" really hits the nail on the head. My cousin is a boudoir photographer and talks about this a lot. All the creeps in her field - it's painfully obvious when male photographers just use the naked women as a prop. SO MANY MWC (men with cameras) use it to get access to women who will disrobe for them "for the art". Using women's insecurities about their looks is a powerful weapon. The predatory men in the field ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 10:41 PM
65

Really good writing, her tone is spot on. Truth stands to light when we call a spade a spade: no man has the right to purchase women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 03:11 PM
2

Oh I totally agree, being around giant trees is good medicine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 02:58 PM
8

Spending time in nature, barefoot on the ground, keeps me connected to the Divine!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 04:54 AM
36

Alongside the grief of our bodies, there's also deep joy in womanhood. Even if they are painful: our periods, our bodies, giving birth, raising children, and especially bonds between women are both mysterious and magical. That a man can claim to know these things is not only absurd, it is deeply offensive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 07:11 PM
27

Yup. I just recently peaked and am so fcking angry.They are making it crystal clear that they not only view women as long hair, makeup, and body parts, but that they know what it feels like to feel like a woman. This world has gone insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 06:38 PM
14

The parents came over to their place, as opposed to vice versa. i was confused about that the first time i read it too cuz i didnt catch that part
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 05:28 AM
211

Wow he really feels offended that he can't control both women's bodies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 11:34 PM
12

I'm gonna go with everyone else saying 'turn off your messages'. It's such peace of mind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 11:32 PM
12

💞💞💞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 04:54 AM
45

what I think of everyone else is so much bigger than what people think of me. My fds sis pickadaisy nails it again! You have no idea how much i needed to read this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 02:14 AM
29

Wow! So glad to hear you are getting this support. Sounds like he's really putting in the energy you deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 09:31 PM
64

Lemme go get me shocked pikachu face.. i'll grab some extras for my gals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 02:51 AM
41

This podcast is awesome! I don't agree with everything but it has expanded my mind in many ways. The episodes on the sex trade are particularly informative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 11:28 PM
43

Fucking ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 07:03 PM
98

Good riddance! This really reinforces what we're always reminding each other here - say no, and see how he responds. Lundy Bancroft emphasized this point, too. Abusive men do not like when people don't bend to them, and your experience is a clear example of this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 07:01 PM
133

Act like you enjoy life? Ask questions that follow the topic? This details the minimum for having a decent conversation. Why would you pretend to be someone who enjoys life, when you could simply be someone who enjoys life? Seems like a lot of pretending, Bruce. Pretend to have a personality that's likeable? Seems like projection, Bruce. And why are you writing for women, Bruce? Clearly men need this information more than us, what with their pitiful conversational skills. Bruce, sweetie, don't q…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 05:27 AM
23

I'd rather use a cactus as a powder puff than buy this book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 04:11 AM
101

Amen! The fact that they have to resort to legislation, religion, and plain old fashioned trickery, in order for us to partner with them, speaks volumes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 01:21 AM
94

You know some knowledge is about to be dropped when you see something from katiekat 💖 Your writing always encourages me to speak up and trust my damn self, even if some feathers are ruffled as a result
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 01:17 AM
142

Yeah, most popular music makes my jaw drop now that i hear what they're saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 10:17 PM
51

Not to come off as a sex crazed maniac but i am absolutely heartbroken that i can't get my dick wet before spending the rest of my life with the girl i'm supposedly in love with!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 07:17 PM
35

This isn't funny this is frightening
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 08:08 PM
16

i wanna know more about this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 05:12 PM
70

Woof. I'm speechless
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 12:18 AM
10

Same boat, and I'm in agreement with the other ladies here who give tend to give off an unfuckwithable energy - as jijitsu princess put it. Have had a stoic demeanor since I was a little child. I'm also hilarious and great fun, but not everyone gets to know that side of me. It takes a long time for me to open up, and similarly I really cherish the type of person who is a little slower to warm up. It feels more stable and rewarding once they do. I used to be very bothered that I didn't have as ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 08:15 PM
34

normalize marriage being hard work because women expect a fuckton of effort and devotion
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 09:53 PM
72

"No relationship is perfect" makes my blood boil
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 06:21 PM
69

The only good advice i see here is 'be a little gay'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 06:17 PM
30

Whether or not a woman is considered HV has nothing to do with the discussion at had. All women deserve freedom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 06:11 PM
36

The internalization of anger and illness.. it's absolutely true and well-documented at that. You are not alone in timidness as a coping mechanism. Love to hear 'I'm not around to be liked, I'm around to be respected'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 08:50 AM
158

i threw up in my mouth a little. what type of mommy fantasy sick shit is this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 07:18 AM
68

Seems that more and more men are getting close to getting it. I daresay it gives me some hope. I also feel weary of woke bros trying to gain gold stars. Either way, women are skyrocketting to power, so the conversation is only going to get louder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 06:14 AM
32

Is there a more beautiful sound to behold than a woman cackling?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 05:49 AM
31

Ladies, step on up! If you liked Roast-a-Scrote, then you are going to LOVE our newest tactic: Scare-a-Scrote!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 05:48 AM
164

Agreed, I was nodding with him until he talked about getting pssy and the thing about one man fcking another man's woman. Not gonna let that slide that women are discussed as property to be fcked. But he makes legitimate points and i will always appreciate when a man speaks up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 05:35 AM
39

Ngl I was waiting to unleash. The education of FDS has made me MUCH better armed with energy that says "go ahead and fucking try me, scrotes"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 05:32 AM
124

Wow the image of you looking him in the eye and saying "I stand by my statements"... if that isn't inspiring i dont know that is. I am stealing this line and encourage everyone else here to do the same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 05:28 AM
12

Ew that gives me the ick too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 02:55 AM
26

THANK YOU FOR THIS. Here for the cultural shift. I would add that the best parts of healthy sex are based-as Nat Lue would say- trust, care, love, and respect: things that are built over a long period of time. We all know that libfem rhetoric is a mouthpiece for the patriarchy, so of course sex is centered as the end-all-be-all.. because it is for exploitative men, which is nearly all of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 02:46 AM
34

Your grandmother was wise to pass this on. I would not complain if you made a post or two about other things she shared with you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 02:42 AM
74

Thank you for sharing with us! Sending love and hope you are taking care of yourself. I'm looking at your initial post and the first thing that stood out to me strategy-wise is when he asked you to be exclusive and you responded firmly but clearly your intentions. It looks like you clearly laid out what you were looking for - soulmate marriage. You described your ideal situation and pointed to potential traumas of your past. It looks evident that he used this knowledge about your long-term goals…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 06:10 PM
13

YES PLEASE. Jess will put in a good word! JK Rowling has made it clear that women and girl's safety is a top priority
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 03:46 AM
24

If it's a fix-a-scrote competition, count me out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 05:39 PM
44

None of these women are ugly??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 05:37 PM
25

Nikola Tesla's history was fascinating as well as tragic-- a brilliant mind who is believed to have unlocked the possibility of free energy for all people on earth. He was screwed over by Thomas Edison, who was more of a cunning businessman than anything. You can't charge for free energy though, so of course it was a scary concept for the corporate world and the government. It's really pretty disgusting that Elon Musk is quoted to idolize Edison and name his vehicle after Tesla. Look into it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 05:34 PM
28

That's disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 04:12 AM
253

I followed in the footsteps of your friend and the same thing happened to me. Nope. It won't bring you closer, he won't think like a woman and try to be sensitive of your trauma. It's ammo to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 04:10 AM
226

Get a library card and start inputting that library card # to all those free resources. Read your books YES MA'AM YES MA'AM! Andrea Dworkin URGED women to go to libraries as their number one tool against the patriarchy. Most local libraries have a ton of free resources offered - free audiobooks, ebooks, and more. Read as if your life depends on it - cuz it does! https://z-lib.org/ is an amazing resource of free ebook downloads too. ​ I posted about this months ago, but Tesla himself predicted th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 03:58 AM
105

this is so important! men are always looking for ways to override our radars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 01:57 AM
417

Ah yes, funding a grown man. Women really CAN have it all. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 10:10 PM
6

Ugh, virtual hug energy. I feel loved by my friends and loved by myself, and FDS has helped me tap into that with a strength i didn't know i had. But tbh I miss cuddling. Sometimes i miss sex, but not really. It's mostly cuddling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 10:09 PM
31

I'm really struggling with that too. There are moments when I realize that the idea of love frightens me deeply and seems inevitably harmful. I have loved to the bottom of my being, with my whole soul. There is nothing that surpasses that feeling. But to be betrayed time after time leads me to believe that i can never trust that feeling of love again, nor should i seek it. Attraction and being attracted to someone feels like a death trap, and though i suspect it's a trauma response, i don't know…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 06:44 AM
103

They believe you see it as the ultimate compliment. That. Says. So. Much. I believe that cultural cosmology sets the tone for our entire view of reality and right/wrong. When I refer to cosmology, i mean the myths and stories that are told and upon which we build our world concept. For most of the world right now, that's christianity. And the main female to get a nod in christianity is a woman young girl who, as the story goes, "got a baby put in her" without any choice on her behalf. And she on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 05:11 AM
38

The good Doctor Jessica makes me feel so much more sane in this world
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 01:01 AM
222

Mental health certainly seems like a factor here, I won't deny that. Cuz clearly the man is unwell and unstable. But just like Lundy Bancroft explains time after time, the language is co-opted to defend abusers. If ANY WOMAN were to act out in a similar fashion, she'd be labeled as a crazy bitch immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 08:37 PM
754

I'm angry at anyone trying to defend him using the mEntAL hEalTh excuse. No, Kanye's abusive. Kim is one of the wealthiest and most powerful women in the world, and she is not safe from male terrorism. Wealth, status, and privilege do not protect women from patriarchal violence. As we're seeing with Kim and Britney, a woman with exceptional wealth is vulnerable to exceptional levels of abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 08:07 PM
4

They seriously expected me to be physically able to pin them down, hold them down as they struggled (with seemingly more or less their full power behind it and whilst giving all sorts of distress signals!), and 'have my way with them', all whilst maintaining an 'angry' demeanor. Okay... so they wanted you to play r*pe them? noah send the flood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 02:44 AM
167

It's almost like.. listening to other people.. is vital to cohesive conversation? and derailing a whole conversation with your porn joke is akshually a giant flex of immaturity? far too many men literally don't know how to listen to each other, let alone how to listen to women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:08 AM
166

It's only in women's spaces -by comparison- that i realize how much space the self-policing takes up in the presence of men! Imagine how much space we would feel comfortable occupying if we focused on OUR WANTS instead of constantly watching ourselves from a male's point of view. i imagine this is similar to being the only brown/non white person in the room. I'm mixed race but have light skin and appear racially ambiguous, so i can't say i really understand that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 07:00 AM
642

Yup. You know that feeling that overtakes you as soon as you're in the presence of a male? You start to view yourself from the outside - your body, your clothing, how you're moving, how you emote. Every single woman knows this feeling - it's well-documented. If I'm wearing anything that reveals my figure in the slightest, this is where I start to become extremely aware of how short my dress is (shit, i should have worn something else today!). Double aware if my back is turned or I need to bend d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 06:15 AM
235

LOL ....no really, it's the wealthiest/seemingly most powerful men who get off on being (truthfully) told that they're a lowly piece of shit with a pathetic penis. source: time spent with pro-doms in my pickme days
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 06:02 AM
19

Not crazy at all - do it on your terms and not a moment sooner
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 05:34 AM
58

Whoa thanks for this very detailed series of observations
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 05:33 AM
12

We love a success story! So glad to hear you are focusing on you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 04:33 AM
103

The podcast episode about racial fetishization is great for this! I'll say as a mixed race woman that this one is so insidious cuz men reduce our ethnicities and cultures into porn categories. I've been straight up asked "Fun Sherbet, what's your ethnicity?" by guys (to which I naively answered cuz i love my cultural heritage) and it's taken me until fds to realize, oh they were literally asking so they could look for it as a porn category. Fucking vomit. In retrospect, i can sense the fetishiza…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 03:39 AM
146

Ah yes I remember the naive days when I thought Erika Lust was "ethical". I recommended her to a friend under the guise of "feminist porn". Good god, I was really putting the moron in oxymoron.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 03:21 AM
604

Ladies step on up!!!! You'll just LOVE this man who is, and we quote, "notoriously terrible" at chatting to women!!!! His best documented method of success with the ladies is to... wait for it.. be drunk!! Let's give him a hand!!! (live studio audience applause)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 05:38 AM
14

Keep this comment up in addition to the post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 06:49 PM
4

Under 10 and they experience that? jesus. Sad but not surprised. Those girls are lucky to have you teaching them that physical violence is okay when someone fucks with them. Too many of us were taught to be silent and still.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 09:15 PM
43

but she didn't want her man babies to be stressed out ...it just occurred to me how often this must happen because we know how completely out of hand and even dangerous men tend to get when they are less than pleased. Like how much fucking catering do we do without even realizing it, because we're trying to assuage these immature fucks?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:52 PM
45

No one is scared of being single for life, everyone is scared of marrying a manchild. I want to buy a megaphone and scream this from the rooftops
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:43 PM
152

...so it's okay for him to BUY the product, but the CREATOR is the problem here. make that makes sense. Libfems are fucking insane to imply that we hate sex"workers". NO ONE HATES SWs MORE THAN THEIR CUSTOMERS. No one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:17 PM
9

I agree with boundaries - The problem arises when the 'be kind' message is constantly shoved down girls' and women's throats without an equivalent for boys and men. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" is a great slogan to push on women when you want them to shut up. Women and girls are taught to forego their safety in order to bE kInD, and that's where I say, fuck being kind. Be safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 08:15 PM
8

For real - this was inspired by the episode #BeUnkind on the Wandering Womb pod. i just posted about it to reccommend the pod to fds :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 07:50 PM
1

welcome!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 07:49 PM
1

i was listening all day yesterday too! can't get enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 07:49 PM
56

They don't feel they should have to take care of a child they didn't ask for. ....and yet the only reason our legislators fight for abortion is so they can keep using us as fucktoys (see Right Wing Women by Dworkin)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:51 PM
15

it always boils down to control. jesus. this is like 95% of marriages where the wife has no financial agency
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:03 PM
9

For real, mixed race here too and the FIRST thing a certain aunt says to me EVERY TIME she sees me is 1) a comment about my weight and 2) a comment or question about my relationship status
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 08:08 AM
14

I recently heard a woman say something along the lines of "women are just naturally beautiful, period - breasts, stomach, hips, all of it. women have pleasing forms" in a purely admiration-based (nonsexual) stance. i totally agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:56 AM
31

Here for an all-female utopia. I love the feeling of safety and joyful sensuality in an all-women space. The joy in expressing style, showing our bodies, adorning ourselves. It's the absence of fear that really lets us be free to be ourselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 07:52 AM
13

How do you even manage to do that? Touch someone's body while acting like they're not there. women aren't real, remember?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 01:08 AM
17

same tho
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 01:04 AM
131

"STAYED GONE 🍾" is a good flair for our running list of women who leveled up upon leaving
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 05:15 AM
50

here here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 11:44 PM
29

It's impossible to be okay with 98% of TV shows after FDS. You just see how disgusting the male-dominated narrative is. I would love to be a part of a ruthlessly female first media uprising.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 10:48 PM
11

Yeah - it's already gonna take some time for OP to heal from what this man has already done. This stuff takes a long time to unpack and recognize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 08:26 PM
8

I'm leaning more towards the Dworkin-approved method of women being more violent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 07:44 PM
36

The whole fds choir sings this tune with you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 07:42 PM
47

HERE FOR FDS REALIST FEMINIST MEDIA AND TV
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 07:33 PM
128

So she's carrying a rapist's baby. Great. ​ EDIT: one of the fds hating subs shared this and says "I don't understand why FDS is upset about this story, they must be jealous of the relationship" THIS IS THE LEVEL OF STUPIDITY WE'RE GOING UP AGAINST. If you can't fathom why this is upsetting, you're a fucking idiot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 07:27 PM
68

They know, and they do it because we don't like it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 07:26 PM
56

The hurt of breaking up will be nothing compared to the damage this man will continue to inflict on your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 07:23 PM
52

Big yup, this strategy is discussed on here often and for good reason. I will never forget a night out with an ex LVM when I got food poisoning and was running to the bathroom every 5 minutes to spew my guts out. This man acted like nothing was happening. For hours. The 1.5 hour drive home? Nothing. This was the man who I made soup for and fussed over when he came down with the sniffles and doing the classic manchild thing where a small sickness has them acting like theyre on their deathbed. Fuc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 07:10 PM
147

this is a pyschopath move. that man is endangering the wellness of the puppy, the children, and the woman! he does not deserve to be a father. ch*mical c*strat ion is my vote
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 03:10 AM
213

This is... disturbing to say the least
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 04:02 AM
22

It's on patreon
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 08:01 PM
5

I've been watching the A&E documentary and it's pathetic but not surprising how much Hefner's friends (male and female, but mostly male) defend his honor at all costs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 05:28 PM
32

An LVM of this league is guaranteed to show lots signs via his actions, which women are taught to be blind to
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 05:08 PM
119

^^should not be understated that men are taught to equate "love" with power. we're really not speaking the same language when it comes to concepts of love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 04:59 PM
28

Y'all it seems like no big deal but this whole comment thread on this post illustrates SO MUCH of why we need FDS Among many of the comments i saw a lot of the follow (number 3 is the most disturbing) : people insisting how "normal" it is for girlfriends and wives to pack lunches for their partner ("i'm a woman and i do this all the time!" or "my wife does this and i love her for it!) people jumping to great lengths to assume the absolutely purest of intentions on behalf of the man men commentin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 03:42 AM
19

If you make it to the end, the king of the alphas gets roasted to shreds
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 03:24 AM
339

I’ve come to realize that biggest “fuck you” any woman can give to this horrific, patriarchal world is to not supply it with any more children to abuse. i'm with you there. it all comes down to the exploitation of women as reproductive vessels
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 12:41 AM
13

They should be working at every opportunity to prove they are worth being into.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 08:20 PM
43

It’s being hard to get
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 08:18 PM
13

we are rooting for you! keep us posted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 04:14 AM
45

I'm not in local proximity with my girlfriends unfortunately - but i plan to make some homemade cards and fill them with words of love!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 02:57 AM
14

KUHWEEEEEN SHITTTT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 01:30 AM
11

Feminist realism - I'm open to this terminology and welcome the language to identify the mission of ruthless female advancement!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 01:26 AM
28

not even exclusive to back in the day unfortunately :''(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 03:56 AM
119

Yeah I'd agree with that myself. I think the keywords in the quote are 'genuine affection and desire'. I'm reading Right Wing Women by Dworkin (free ebook link) and she talks a lot about marriage as an institution of state-sanctioned rape, and that most women cannot escape their bodies being sold to men one way or another (either via marriage or prostitution) Reading Dworkin (and become radicalized in general) does make me question how much legitimacy there is to my own supposed desire for sex, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 02:11 AM
113

YES I think about this often, cuz her music is virtually inescapable. She's an incredible artist but I can't fucking stand the majority of the messages behind her lyrics. All of these well-loved pop songs are inundating us with messages about struggle love and being desperate to be with someone who sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 06:02 AM
226

Y'all he's getting closer to realizing i'm not a hologram... i think he's the one <3 <3.... /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 05:58 AM
86

Exactly - we're labeled 'mean' when we say no, so slap that label on me baby
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 05:56 AM
186

'Reality show' is easily one of the most doublespeak terms of our times
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 05:18 AM
136

Well well well if it isn't men taking foolish risks at the expense of people around them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 02:36 AM
101

You can justify a lot when you think your pussy heals broken men and that it's our job to heal them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:07 PM
65

My vote is for entitlement too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 01:05 AM
10

I'll say it once and I'll say it again: scrotes' writing skills could use some work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 12:36 AM
31

Hard co-sign on this too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 12:31 AM
24

Of course "she" didn't, this troll doesn't deserve the credit of legitimacy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 12:28 AM
24

They can't conceptualize why we or anyone would choose to forego sex, so boom their brains jump to the ultimate foregoers of sex (incels)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 12:27 AM
39

That was the biggest giveaway that this is fake. No one that actually subscribes here would do that. Literally the only message he's trying to get across is that boo, fds kweens are meeenies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 12:20 AM
44

Totally - on the newest podcast episode they talk about how men are overwhelmingly likely to only support a woman's success, if she supports a male agenda, which is really sad when you see mothers using their daughter's sexuality as a boon to their empire. Famous women may appear to lead charmed lives, but though they carry massive privilege they're also the target for massive hatred because the world accepts that women are suitable targets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 01:49 AM
95

Though I have many social critiques on behavior she promotes, I wonder not if but when we will have a cultural awakening around Kim in the same we are with Britney right now. Fame is a form of abuse and it can be exceptionally difficult to recognize the ways in which we abuse famous women, because it's so normalized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 11:22 PM
167

j i m w a s g a r b a g e
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 09:54 PM
55

Late 20s here - definitely a transformative time towards shedding some of these old fears. Can't thank the women here who are older than me and have wisdom to share. It makes me feel looked out for and protected by other women, something many of us were denied growing up. Any little things that have consistently helped you in this arena?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 03:38 AM
173

Sometimes I think if we have been through trauma, it feels safer just to put your head down and hope that no one notices you. this hits pretty hard. i've wanted an invisibility cloak for decades.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 03:11 AM
185

lundy bancroft talks about this exact thing -- that nearly all abusers in abuser recovery programs will weaponize their treatment and say whatever they need to say to appear like they've changed and have remorse - but the abusers' testimonies rarely line up with the testimonies of their female partners!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 08:00 PM
1

It really is so dangerous to skip the healing phase when the majority of men mistreat women by default. Men can sense vulnerability in a woman like blood in the water and zero right in on it. It gets extra dangerous because in our fragile state we falsely believe we are being 'helped' by that new person who is using predatory tactics - aka, that person is filling a void of ours via attention or sex or whatever. It's not love but we conflate it with love, meanwhile we accrue more trauma. I severe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 07:51 PM
64

A thorough, pragmatic list. Even if you've already ended the relationship, this list is a great way to process harmful relationships from the past, which is crucial to heal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 08:16 AM
169

giRL yOu jUsT neEd soMe diCK as if that ever made anything better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 12:57 AM
22

Totally, LVM FOMO is what happens when we devalue ourselves and make men the prize
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 07:53 PM
39

The strategy is slowly seeping into the general discourse. More women catch on each day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:31 AM
28

Love to hear that!! Supported, passionate mothers who ruthlessly vet are so so so important
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:30 AM
111

That's why we're refusing to breed with them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:29 AM
941

Ladies, am I reading too much into it? when a woman asks this, her intuition is sending a warning sign
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 12:07 AM
24

Edited the comment above to include the full text of the post!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 12:00 AM
59

Oh I was talking about something else - the premise that outspoken women are often punished harshly when they speak out against abuse. It is punishment for indeed not being a "good woman". I'll contemplate that comment because i'm having trouble conceptualizing it. Sounds like those women are conflating aggression with compatibility which of course is gonna be a bad deal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:56 PM
113

The women most likely to get beat in my mind are the outspoken mouthy ones- think of Mel B and Eva Marcille. Yup - again, have experienced this first hand with pimps. In my case it was not physical, but psychological. The women who spoke up needed to be torn down the most viciously in order for the pimps to uphold their entitlement to power. I was one of these women. Passive women made no waves and weren't considered a problem. It's the same strategy men have been employing for ages. No surprise…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:46 PM
225

YUP - have seen this in person with pimps. The outspoken, powerful women can absolutely be the most susceptible if they don't realize what's going on. A powerful woman is a big prize to bag. That's why it's so important to vet ruthlessly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:32 PM
41

I'll prob write another one sometime! I've been on here long enough to have plenty of posts taken down haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:25 PM
120

I made a whole post about it recently and it got taken down. I thought it was valuable info, but the mods take things down left and right, so I can't be butthurt lol. they work so hard for us. EDIT: per request here is the post that got taken down ​ Title: An ugly reason why some men start families Hint: It's not paternal instinct While patriarchy upholds the power of men as a class, the reality is that the average man holds little power in the world. Male socialization views the world in terms …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:19 PM
188

YUP. A man with a wife and kids has his own little kingdom to play dictator over, so he's seen as successful to other men. It's all about that ego and control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:17 PM
151

No more free incubators!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:12 PM
196

Meanwhile women are conditioned to be strong from the centuries of struggle, so we continue to climb the ladders of joy and success realizing it's much easier without pesky males (and the subsequent unwanted children)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:07 PM
74

It's a rush of level-up juice straight to the soul
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 11:02 PM
204

Few men have made me quiver with the same delight that I feel when blocking them for the rest of eternity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 10:36 PM
144

...me searching for the women that aren't better than 99% of men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 10:33 PM
87

I'm not south asian and this list blows my mind. Desi women deserve better. Also this would be a great podcast discussion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 09:52 PM
27

It certainly seems like we are amidst a slow but massive shift
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 06:12 AM
56

Is it just me, or is there an ever so slight increase of misogyny being called out in the comment sections lately? I can see FDS messages seeping out into the masses
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 05:58 AM
58

The "sex work is real work" campaign is nothing more than code to protect men who buy and sell other peoples' bodies. It puts all the attention on the 'workers', or as many exited survivors prefer to call it, 'prostituted people'. Of course we want to stand behind the women who survive this way - but pulling all of our focus on the plight of the stigmatized somehow yet empowered 'sex worker' COMPLETELY renders pimps (male and female) and johns invisible. If 'sex work is just like any other job',…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 05:49 AM
3

Ugh i feel that. Rooting for you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 06:29 PM
4

Same, I can't fucking believe it didn't register to me as a problem that i was deeply embarrassed over my partners
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 04:32 AM
2

Wow this is such a good exercise! i imagined this happening with an LV ex and i immediately felt so sad and ashamed when the person says 'you deserve this'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 04:31 AM
8

That's horrible, I'd want to move apartments
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 04:28 AM
20

Celibacy is astoundingly peaceful. It allows us to center on ourselves. I definitely pressured myself to be more sexually active because the culture pushes it so hard. I was ashamed to have a low body count so I forced myself to move quickly into sex. That's traumatising. Casual sex couples intense emotions with a high degree of ambivalence, which is confusing and stressful. There is a tremendous amount of messaging we receive that makes us think we should be engaging in hookup culture. Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 04:21 AM
21

Queen shit!!!! I'll second what someone else stated, that I am so grateful as a 20 something to be able to hear the advice from older women here. Nothing speaks like the testament of time and your perspectives are priceless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 04:11 AM
53

BedazzledSwashbuckle recommended him for a podcast guest so I watched this talk and was impressed. You can tell he's a little nervous - it def takes a courageous man to speak up to other men. But boo, I wish it were just the norm already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 05:32 AM
11

I'd bet $10 it was Lilith with the sales strategies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 04:38 AM
23

I am already laughing just thinking about this. hurry hurry hurry. ​ and yes i agree with everyone saying RAISE THE PRICE.For those that don't know, the hosts invest the patreon earnings directly back into the podcast instead of collecting it themselves. They explained it a few months ago - I hope they are compensated more these days, but just wanted to acknowledge how devoted these queens are to spreading the good word for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 04:35 AM
8

LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 04:32 AM
1

Just looked him up, thanks! Yeah i'm all for based male experts on the pod. They have a lot of insight from the inside, and it's one of the more effective ways to get other men to listen - unfortunately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 04:15 AM
22

What an affirming piece of writing!This is so nice to hear and be reminded of. I really struggle with berating myself for mistakes of the past. I am often scared to repeat the same mistakes and like a lot of us here, have more than enough trauma from making poor judgments. It takes constant reminding that I am different and wiser now. Think about how many things are SO OBVIOUS to you now, that would have never been a blip on your radar in your pickme days. Think about how much we've grown as a g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 04:04 AM
20

Wow that rasp in her voice. I melt. Fucking amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 03:46 AM
47

Second the brainwashing comment - and like everything else, women are made to believe they can fix him. meanwhile the cognitive dissonance grows and you never question why sex with him makes you horribly anxious to the point of tears. ask me how i know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 05:17 PM
9

Amazing piece of writing! You touch on many good point here. Saved
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 05:14 PM
25

It makes men wildly uncomfortable for women to be taught that they themselves are the most important person in their lives yup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 05:10 PM
431

Crazy how quickly he goes from raving to blaming it on his ex and nEeDinG sYmpAthY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 04:39 AM
2

I'm in my 20s and hope to learn from your example
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:56 AM
42

This is the one of the best feelings in a friendship! It's so fun to spoil each other
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:54 AM
6

i saw this thread too. fucking animals. they really don't realize how not cute they are
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:38 AM
2

The male perspective is inferior. It's almost primitive. Now, it's simply undeniable. I can't even pretend to stomach it any longer. concise. i love your writing style
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:37 AM
3

Insightful comment!! Re: last paragraph, not only will a good man respect women's spaces, he will also understand the necessity for women to come together and support each other. A community support system makes you stronger and healthier, and a good man loves that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:34 AM
355

NO FREE INCUBATORS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:15 AM
2

Oh you misunderstood, we're on the same page - i was using the word 'tendency' as a result of being taught. Like the profile of someone with a tendency to overgive is most likely raised to think this is healthy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 02:54 AM
3

Absolutely, and meanwhile we build up resentment for overexerting ourselves in asymmetrical relationships. It's pretty common when you were neglected emotionally to have the tendency give more the more someone pulls away, because we desperately wish to save the relationship above our own needs. So sad.I am making a commitment to invest in and benefit from mutually beneficial relationships!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 11:14 PM
3

i'm slowly learning to outgrow that behavior. a lot of us are raised this way as girls, and see our mothers failing to ask for help. we can't continue this way! it does us poorly. The book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (link to free ebook) is a game changer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 10:38 PM
3

Great point, and the goal for FDS is for all women to level up by way of closely assessing the value and consistency people bring to our lives - all people!It's a skill and sign of maturity to ask for your needs clearly, as is being able to discern who you can depend upon. HV people reciprocate easily because it feels good to be in balanced relationships. FDS has helped me on this journey immensely, and I recently had a bit of a breakthrough in this area!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 09:41 PM
3

Wow roast me like a chicken why don't you This is a great realization
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 09:30 PM
178

Women need feminism more than ever and it's simply infuriating that liberal feminism has such a wide platform. Of course it's promoted heavily left and right, it's a fucking weapon against women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 05:35 AM
12

Only child support group, how great that you all have each other as chosen family
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 01:40 AM
55

Walking out of the movie and loudly booing and leaving scathing reviews and getting the movie theatre shut down. Love that for us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 01:39 AM
35

Capybara taught us all a lesson today
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 01:21 AM
155

This is such a trope and I'm TIRED of it END THE FILM PLEASE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 01:20 AM
79

Grandma-gate! More truths about our grandmothers' experience of marriage!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 01:19 AM
13

Love that! FDS has helped me ask for help in a similar way. Well, i'm learning slowly! The rewards have been nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 01:17 AM
32

most people that say “just ask if you need help” THE TRUTH OF THIS. i will add that some people say this and simultaneously followup with action and consistency. But yes, a lot of people say it as lip service.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 01:14 AM
3

I wouldn't complain if you wrote a post about this. Love seeing your writing on the sub!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 10:01 PM
5

Anger allows me to speak the truth and to protect myself. Am learning this, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:59 PM
10

OP i hope your dms are turned off! My last post about anger sent the scrotes a'floodin so i finally disabled dms. It's a testament to the power of women's anger that it makes men so uncomfortable. Like most situations, they project their qualities onto us, and assume that our anger means we will unleash the same violence men have made us suffer under. Men know we have a legitimate reason to want to c*strate abusers. Most men identify with abusers. No wonder they are terrified of our rage. This h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:56 PM
40

Nobody is nicer than a man who's trying to fuck you for the first time! it bears repeating, remind your girlfriends and sisters of this OFTEN
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:47 PM
39

I hope this isn't the last time we get to hear from Lundy. The more men speaking on this, the better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:44 PM
48

This pussy has disappeared into the night forever so good luck, fools
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:44 PM
8

Wow i love the simplicity of this epiphany!! great litmus test for long term vetting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:41 PM
42

Those illustrations are such a good wake up call! Their core messages haven't changed AT ALL - that they want to "solve" the problem of women wanting liberation by ridiculing us - calling us ugly, old, single, desperate, unloved and unlovable, by torturing us, and by threatening our lives. THE MESSAGE HAS NOT CHANGED, these fuckers are desperate to retain power over us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:37 PM
30

SAME SIS the intolerance is growing, i'm allergic to their immaturity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:30 PM
256

These men are waiting for a woman... just one woman... to give him the benefit of the doubt, to fix him, to save him. And then, he unleashes all hell on her, as a way to get back at everyone, especially against other women, for making him feel inferior for all those years. That's all it takes. One woman. And that very same woman, could unfortunately, be you. potent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 09:28 PM
5

All hail!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 05:24 PM
27

I like the Baggage Reclaim Sessions by Natalie Lue (friend of the FDS pod)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:40 AM
77

Wow it just dawned on me that our genuinely loving & supportive community is yet another concept that is foreign to lvm. One time I was waxing poetic about the magic of sisterhood to an NVM and he had no equivalent concept. Community and kinship is a must for a quality life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 10:24 PM
71

They tend to get real jumpy when you bring up c*stration
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 09:27 PM
3

This thread about seeds of doubt is a big deal! Good tactic to use. I keep in mind that in my pickme days, i too reacted poorly to criticism of my dating choices. It puts many of us on the defense because deep down we feel it's no good. But I distinctly remember friends who observed my despair and spoke some sense into me - even if I didn't want to listen. Their feedback always helped me end the relationship. This is why abusive men resent your girlfriends and try to isolate you Taking that into…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 08:07 PM
3

I needed FDS to slap the sense into me. same sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 08:01 PM
5

You should be reading the handbook instead of posting daft shit like this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 07:53 PM
27

Good for her!!!! She handled this well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 06:26 AM
27

Her channel is great! Always appreciate her pragmatic and gentle approach
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 03:30 AM
8

amazing!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 03:27 AM
8

I did, as well. I'd ask for it cuz i thought it made me more appealing🙄 fucking scary and you're not alone in being upset. i'm horrified in retrospect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 03:25 AM
22

This. This is the way. ​ /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 07:11 PM
46

Yup, don't you love when people try and dodge accountability by asking "why can't you just let it go?" The fuck i'm not, i'm not letting this shit slide
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:44 PM
43

Just.. ew. When I found out about the forever GF situation with Bonet it raised concern 🚩Had no idea how substantially worse it gets! AND THIS IS JUST WHAT WE SEE IN PUBLIC Ladies this is why ONE red flag ALWAYS indicates a guaranteed shit storm. Very comprehensive list on the part of OP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:09 PM
204

Important post! I think someone posted a screenshot of a TV show here that said something along the lines of 'An insecure man is a ticking time bomb' They have no self-worth so they will actually resent you for seeing anything in them. These are the guys that "don't deserve you" 🚩They consider anyone who wants them to be a fool - they are correct on this note. It's actually sad. But I'm not wasting my time crying over it, these men need to help themselves Of course they still want a bangmaid so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:01 PM
376

I notice this too, it's especially obvious when you're accustomed to the quality and coherence of conversations on FDS. It like actually grosses me out how they're always trying to derail the conversation (a recognized sign of emotional immaturity). And I agree, their jokes tend to lack sophistication cuz they just recycle everything from the manosphere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 01:45 PM
18

Wow i can feel your happiness!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 06:19 AM
13

I'm really struggling with this too. I did recently find one family member to talk brutally honest FDS-style talk with. And that's a huge blessing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 06:18 AM
72

the scrotes hate this one ❤️ one literally just messaged me about jesus, the poor lad seems to think he's being deep but it's a shame he seems a bit dim-witted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 06:08 AM
7

You need to find a different living situation asap
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 06:23 PM
16

Fantastic episode!! This is life-saving information
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 06:22 PM
99

"Professor Rikke Lund, senior author of the study, from the University of Copenhagen, said: 'Evidence shows that men tend to depend more on their female partners than the other way around, so are more vulnerable if they lose them. 'Men of the age we looked at tend to have smaller social networks than women, so are at a higher risk of loneliness, which might increase inflammation. 'There is also evidence that men living alone may not look after themselves as well, and are more reluctant to consul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 03:49 AM
3

That strategy advice is so important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 05:22 AM
196

The girlfriend 😑 tell me you see your girlfriend as a household appliance without telling me you see your girlfriend as a household appliance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 05:18 AM
108

Another great piece of fiction from scrote land. Also, personally i'm trying to be less and less pleasant for men to be around
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 05:07 AM
62

Omg she has dozens of versions of this video but with different outfit personas lolololololl
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 05:04 AM
6

^^ *LV men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 01:36 AM
101

By contrast, women who kill tend to kill men who have been horrifically abusing them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 03:40 AM
82

But think of their poor weewees!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 03:38 AM
306

(yelling it for the people in the back) STAYING JUST FRIENDS IS A LIE, DO NOT FALL FOR IT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 03:35 AM
7

I think about this exact thing too! The current state of the earth and human affairs is testament to the quality of men's leadership
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 09:59 AM
5

Would love to see more posts detailing your observations, as you seem well-versed in HV behavior!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 09:57 AM
18

Generous to assume he only watches porn every other day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 09:54 AM
16

It's almost like men of all races are desperate for sex and female companionship and have zero self-respect Wow it is almost like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 07:30 PM
24

The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in shitty relationships. same here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:49 AM
13

Amen amen amen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 07:48 AM
139

#UseTeeth2022
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 10:25 PM
146

It's so true, when me and my ex traveled and got an airbnb he got angry at me for not being in the mood to have sex, because he had spent the money and expected it. fucking gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 10:24 PM
16

I love her tiktoks! It literally never gets old when she says "HE DID NOT LIKE THIS!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 05:06 AM
18

Holy shit do I feel seen by OP's example! Have experienced this on many occasions. I can say with full honesty that I have excellent taste in music. It's a passion of mine and one of my favorite things about myself, and something i'm known in my social circles for. Naturally I have enjoyed bonding with people over music. If only i had a nickel for every time a man reacted in the same way as OP's story.. the weird surprise on their face to deal with a woman who has a wide-ranging and comprehensiv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 05:00 AM
20

Wow the scrotes hate this one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 06:19 AM
135

We've been hitting the front page consistently lately (thanks for the free advertising, scrotes!) and the 'no wonder they're single/they're gonna be single forever' comments are frequent. These bros are truly thick in the head if they can't understand why being single is so glorious. Oh and the 'I'm 99% sure that these bearded FDS fmcels just can't get laid'. Projection, it's all projection. Scrotes are not subtle in the least
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 06:49 PM
52

I'm scared for her too :( there's a clear tone of anger and entitlement and he goes as far to claim that the wife's wish to breastfeed their child is actually her conspiring against him and his mother. really fucked up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 06:39 PM
129

This is so disturbing. It reminds me of the 90 Day Fiance couple where the young man went over to Russia for the birth of their son, and right after the birth he got extremely controlling and jealous, just like this scenario ^^ basically refusing to listen to the mother of his child and becoming a complete monster because he "loves his son so much". it disturbed me badly to the point where it fucked up my sleep, had to stop watching 90 day fiance after that. Guard your womb, ladies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 06:00 PM
57

This goes hand-in-hand with female socialization to be kind and sweet to everyone. I've landed myself in traumatic situations because I didn't want to be "judgmental", as that's something that people have torn me down for throughout my life. I thought that "accepting and giving love" was the best I could do even when dealing with dangerous people. Bullshit. My judgmental mind is fucking useful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 07:23 PM
17

They weren't right for you but they would have been fine? Make it make sense?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 05:24 AM
19

Good riddance!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 05:21 AM
47

Gosh do you remember the dread over the thought of losing the relationship?! Even though I'd always be the one to do the breaking up? My pickme days were AWFUL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 05:20 AM
59

I know women get murdered but what about the gooood guuys?!?!!? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 05:16 AM
33

🤡Talked in a toddler voice 🤡Would suck on my tits like an actual baby EVERY TIME before sex (you see where this is going) 🤡Eventually admitted he wanted me to hold him like a mommy holds a baby. I was so revolted. Even typing it out makes me want to vom 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 05:15 AM
11

Suddenly, we need to want a man to keep him around. the truth of this..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 07:53 AM
8

Well that is disturbing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 12:38 AM
7

Yes mama!! We are so happy for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 12:36 AM
20

That's atrocious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 01:58 AM
51

Girl, run for the hills
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 07:23 AM
49

LOL the fragile masculinity of the black coffee ONLY man. I've worked in coffee/restaurants for years and have had this conversation regularly. Me after taking order for coffee: Cream or sugar with that? Steve in growly grumpy Steve voice: No, just gimme the caffeine! Like, okay, sir... here's your hot cup of 100% pure uncut caffeine. Your cardiologist is gonna love this Also, has anyone else in customer service noticed how somehow ALL the old men use the same line for everything!? Like, word fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 06:45 AM
50

People my age are much more themselves; we become more who we really are as we age. ^^^This is very interesting to think about... is this why old men are the absolute worst? And cool older women are so cool?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 06:36 AM
16

This has got me inspired to make some FDS art, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 05:10 AM
5

LOVE, PER THE USUAL!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 05:09 AM
54

AND THE CLITORIS IS THE ONLY HUMAN ORGAN THAT IS STRICTLY FOR PLEASURE. I REPEAT, THE ONLY ONE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 04:52 AM
12

Another brilliant piece!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 04:10 AM
4

^^^^^^
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 05:19 AM
69

You use the phrase 'my childhood was not so bad', which makes me feel for you. I've been reading a couple books on trauma this year and it's been mentioned how people tend to use the phrase 'it wasn't so bad' to kind of gaslight themselves into believing things were okay. I definitely resonate with that myself. So girl let yourself call a spade a spade.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 05:08 AM
6

Omg take my money
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 04:57 AM
10

These bring me so much joy! Would love to see a book or publication someday :')
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:55 AM
42

queen shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 10:28 PM
40

Ugh i've always hated TVs in restaurants. When you can't escape them it's really distracting. If you think about it, having a TV on is a way for men to opt out of socializing, which they're already bad at due to our culture
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 10:27 PM
14

LOVING THESE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 06:34 AM
206

Good vetting strategy! I remember talking with an LV ex about a friend of mine - i said i admired her and thought she was really wise. This scrote didn't even know her that well and proceeded to scoff and tell me that he didn't think she was that wise. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 11:01 PM
4

Agreed, it goes against the sub rules that require we read the handbook before posting. It's tiring reading these problematic posts from people who are clearly not attuned to FDS principles. And I get that some people are learning - FDS takes time - but you can tell the difference between women who are learning in earnest and the ones who haven't attempted at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 09:44 PM
36

Ew reading this makes my skin crawl, and I also realized something. I've received this type of message before from several different scrotes and it's uncanny how similar in tone they all are. There's this distinctive lilt to the writing that you only see when they're trying to manipulate you via gushy language - i've seen it in 'love' notes too. It's like all of these men went to the same school of scrote script in order to feign romance. Hard to describe but does anyone else get what i'm saying…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 09:35 PM
93

GHOST THAT GHOST
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 09:26 PM
47

barf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 07:57 AM
237

Men don't have respect for women who help build them up. If you're him when he's broke, unsuccessful, etc, he'll devalue you. You'll see the repeating pattern of men ditching their "ride or die" woman as soon as they achieve success.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 07:57 AM
6

Wow the scroties hated this one. truth hurts, fellas
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 01:53 AM
361

this sounds like a fictional scrote fantasy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 05:00 PM
39

this makes me livid and it also makes me sad. as a woman who dabbled in this behavior in my pick me days, it's really sad because when we do this shit we think we're showing how valuable we are, we think we're proving our worth. couldn't be further from the truth. also, how can men live like this?!!?! how!??~~?~?@@!?????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 06:24 AM
121

At last a scientific word for something we all know: "male-induced stress effect"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 02:03 AM
69

Based Chicken Queen I need more content with this gospel
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 01:04 AM
208

Sob stories early on. They will do this to illicit your sympathy and caring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 02:56 AM
96

Bare minimum for sure, and it may just be me but this feels a bit scripted. He says we're in a world that's finally pointing out the inadequacies of the patriarchy, when feminists have been doing this for a long time. Maybe he means men are finally talking about it? Idk, something about this seems not totally genuine. I am glad nonetheless to see him speak out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 07:40 AM
55

Thanks for sharing your experience! Proud of you, you just got your life back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 05:09 AM
186

I'm gonna go with what many women say on FDS: if you're questioning him enough to post about him, that's enough evidence that he's gotta go. His LV friends are a huge red flag. Also that he keeps telling you about his anti-porn and anti-oversexualization, but his actions don't match those words. He is virtue signaling cuz he knows what you want to hear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 11:34 PM
4

Excuse me she is gorgeous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 11:16 PM
56

Oh hun I get it. The harsh reality though, is that it's better to be alone than waste your precious time and life force with a leeching man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 03:19 AM
65

Girl, if you've experienced a lifetime of abuse and bad treatment in the dating world, your first priority needs to be taking care of yourself and healing from that trauma. It sounds like this guy is full of red flags - your title even says you deserve better. It also sounds like you are in a vulnerable emotional place and that leaving this guy is going to be really, really tough. Don't underestimate the damage this guy can do to you, sis. I hope you'll take strength from your sisters here at FD…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 03:11 AM
60

My god.. that he is anything but thrilled for her success, is horrifying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:06 AM
80

^^Same here, you phrase it perfectly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:02 AM
11

I started watching, I love Aidy Bryant, but the LVM-ness drove me so crazy i couldnt keep watching! FDS really ruins the majority of TV, movies, and music
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:00 AM
126

there was a keanu flair?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 08:19 AM
39

Totally agree, it's just like cigarettes. They're creating lifelong customers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 12:26 AM
293

Good for you JP, call out your followers. I was not expecting him to speak any sense. I disagree that women being angry at men is a sign of psychological trouble, though. It's a natural response to centuries of antagonism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 12:22 AM
48

Wow, praise be that you caught the ick! We celebrate your sweet sweet freedom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 12:05 AM
2

That's exactly what the book is about!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 08:16 PM
38

User flair checks out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 01:13 AM
66

Explain to me how you're "all for" women choosing to have children or be childless while you're completely against abortion? Make it make sense?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 01:05 AM
29

Just downloaded! thanks for the suggestion here's a link for you ladies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 06:26 AM
69

Sounds like a lovely night! you're treating yourself so good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 05:37 AM
136

Of course it's the daughter and not the son that "now runs the house". Like dude aren't you wealthy enough to hire a cook for fuck's sake!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 01:06 AM
287

Oh my god. He's not even trying to hide that he primarily sees his wife for her domestic utility. No doubt that he wouldn't have had his legendary career without the unsung support of his wife. It's all the same with these men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 12:52 AM
100

No other creature on Earth coddles deficient and misbehaving males i have nothing to add just want to memorialize this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 12:36 AM
1

can you link it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 10:12 PM
33

yikes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 08:06 AM
5

It's a good read. Uncomfortable and challenging yet validating and inspiring
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 06:31 AM
62

I love my barren womb
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 06:28 AM
60

Yeah it's patriarchal ideas like "the head of the household" that perpetuate this shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 05:38 AM
77

True. This applies to men and women alike
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 03:58 AM
57

Oh my god, the "what did i do??" raises my hackles I was watching some reality tv the other day and one person accused the other of doing xyz. The accused (narc traits) exploded and starting doing the ol "When did I do xyz? Name ONE time I did xyz!" Raise your hand if you've seen men pull that ridiculous stunt when they are guilty as sin and are trying to make you crazy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 03:40 AM
130

True as fuck. Women attempt to "communicate" as a way to resolve things - you want things to work, and he knows that. After doing one of the most fucked up things a man has ever done to me, an ex LVM crawled into bed with me while I was crying. I kept saying how fucked up it felt and how upset I was, and all of the sudden he goes into ultra-caring-tender mode and starts crooning about how i can tell him how I feel, and that "he didn't know" that I was so upset. Then he ate me out like 5 times th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 12:35 AM
10

This argument does not hold water for me and i'll explain why 1) Patriarchal institutions are widespread, but this does not exempt the need to discuss them through a critical feminist lens 2) If religious women feel attacked by criticism of religion, it's a price I'm willing to pay for putting this discussion on the table. If a woman takes it personally when other women discuss the systemic harm perpetuated by religion, that's her problem. Call me harsh. If a religious woman cannot look at her r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 06:44 PM
24

Kick my butt too! That sounds like good medicine. Religious wounding is a deep one for me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:36 AM
124

10000000%. cannot stress this enough. these spiritual bros think they're shamans, it's just another iteration of male grandiosity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 04:35 AM
124

The need for intolerance is a concept blowing my mind rn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:21 AM
43

That was exactly what I was thinking too! He has a whole subsection called Dark Humor
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 02:18 AM
192

...she knows. the fact that she "jokes" about being a dumbass. it's not a joke. she knows
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 10:57 PM
63

Okay but the alert light he added to let her know when there is fresh coffee? This is so sweet and you can tell he had fun with it. HVM feel rewarded by their own efforts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 10:54 PM
7

amazing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 11:35 AM
8

Here I thought the peen was so large they needed the horsepower just to move it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 02:23 AM
80

A really good read! It seems like we are in truly unprecedented times of educated, financially independent women across the world choosing to forego marriage and motherhood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 12:48 AM
67

Homophobia = fragile masculinity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 11:50 PM
35

It's true - 100% the result of porn and patriarchy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 09:47 PM
78

Wow now i'm fantasizing about you creating that, too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 09:46 PM
59

Wow the story arc of this comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 09:44 PM
62

He's trying to sound cheeky, but this just goes to show that men know exactly what men are doing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 04:31 AM
6

that's against the law in most states, i believe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:51 PM
23

Barf he would always say shit like that under the guise of being zen and nonattached to outcomes. Turns out it wasn't my expectations that caused disappointment, it was him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:37 AM
14

Disney is maddening in the literal sense of the word
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:35 AM
41

FOR REAL there are entire youtube channels and twin flame "life coaches" who make actual money telling women why that married man who hasn't talked to her in months is finally realizing she's The One
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:32 AM
38

Or as my ex would put it, "having expectations is why you get disappointed"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:01 AM
38

This is so true. Being partnered as proof of your worth is GARBAGE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 03:50 AM
22

Agreed, it's immensely painful coming to grips with something that felt so real. I was coming from a place of desperately wanting love, so I deceived myself hard in order to believe I had it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 02:40 AM
44

As someone who also fell for the soulmate scam, i second the 'fuck that' sentiment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 02:17 AM
27

Literally crying tears of joy!!!!!!!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 12:57 AM
69

Any woman that's dumped a scrote knows how good it feels to rid herself of his dead weight and how free she feels after she kicks him to the curb. I'd buy this bumper sticker
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 12:52 AM
250

I'll add another - that a good relationship is defined by its ability to "make it through" everything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 10:22 PM
3

We love to see women setting their standards high!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 05:25 AM
12

^^Really good litmus test for LVM/NVM - one time i got food poisoning when i was out with a major LVM, i was completely miserable puking and running to the bathroom constantly. he acted like nothing was happening. didn't even rub my back, offer me water, or ask how i am. and I accepted that shit like a clown
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 05:22 AM
9

make this a post of its own!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 01:25 AM
154

Wait, there's a bar?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 02:25 AM
32

I'm halfway through and I gotta ask, what kind of garbage entertainment is this? Why is every other question about their sex lives? Who tf wants to know about some divorced couples' sex life? Get these scrotes out of media positions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 09:17 PM
3

https://www.tiktok.com/@cardy\_couture\_boutique/video/6942908922571328774?is\_copy\_url=1&is\_from\_webapp=v1
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 09:30 PM
8

https://www.tiktok.com/@cardy_couture_boutique/video/6942908922571328774?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1 here's the link
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 09:30 PM
92

She is absolutely radiant in her intelligence and observations, that was a great listen. Not gonna lie, being invisible to men sounds more than ideal at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 08:55 PM
11

What a badass woman!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 01:31 AM
295

Your first mistake was engaging with him at all - strange men do not ever legitimately need anything from you. All those questions he kept asking? Just using it to keep you trapped in conversation. He knows women are trained to be polite and keep talking. He didn't actually need to know any of those questions. I'm not judging, I've done this countless times and am trying to unlearn the behavior. It sucks that you are uncomfortable about a place you love to frequent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 01:28 AM
244

An HVM will not feel threatened by your academic accomplishments. Trash always takes itself out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 01:23 AM
4

The reason for this ass backwards world is because our roles are completely backwards. Our species has proven that we function exceptionally when women, elder women in particular, are given authority in groups. Orcas are another example of this social structure in nature. Orcas have similarly big brains and incredibly intricate social structures, so relationships are a big part of their lives too. I say this because we are more similar to orcas than most of us might think.They have found that in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 03:58 AM
1

That is wonderful! I def feel an ancient connection with my maternal line
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 03:44 AM
38

Aw, men and their widdle bwains cannot muster the creative flair of an actually nice photo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 03:42 AM
100

This topic comes up from time to time on FDS and I gotta say, the topic remains validating to read, as a fellow Intimidatress (she who intimidates) who is recovering from the mindset that it's there is something wrong with me. Our world likes to insinuate that it's a problem. It is a problem, for patriarchy. Now, let me take a moment to practice something from a recent post here, talking about NOT being humble. I am gorgeous with a unique style, talented & ambitious, an excellent conversationali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 03:25 AM
57

High praise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 02:19 AM
112

Seconded. It says everything about a man who only sees value in what you do for him. Our pickme brains love to hear this stuff - how useful we are, how much of a difference we make in his life, etc. There are countless things that make you unique and lovable simply because you are you. You improve his life just by allowing him to be in your presence, period. If he "loves" you for utilitarian purposes - he literally just sees you as something to use
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 02:17 AM
30

Amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 05:28 AM
9

Agreed, thanks for bringing that up. Patriarchal women do not serve the interests of women. I'm gonna welcome them with open arms when they snap out of it, though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 03:28 AM
95

this is the kind of insider intel we all benefit from learning about
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 06:24 AM
16

it’s better to know of the trauma people can introduce into your life than to be blissfully unaware wow i was having a hard time earlier tonight accepting a traumatic situation that happened because i didn't know any better. and i was reflecting that it's gonna take a long time to process but i wouldn't trade the experience because that needed to be learned. but damn it's hard realizing that healing is not linear. so anyway thanks for those pertinent words, helps to hear that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 06:19 AM
128

Celebrate that small win! Recovering people pleaser here too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 03:06 AM
98

Oh man I get what she's saying cuz there is so so so much pressure, that happens to be the fake fairytale pressure kind, on women to be partnered. We're made to feel less than when we are alone, because it actually benefits us best. At the same time watching this i'm like..wishing i had never dated anyone to begin with, and almost wish i was in her position.. Clearly she's in a lot of pain and I wish she could see her worth without a partner. I felt immense pressure to date people from like.. ag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 03:02 AM
204

Wow so many scrotes in the comment section relating to poor sad adam sandler. They seem to particularly relate to when she says "so i was talking to my friends" preceding a breakup. Soooo we're just gonna act like it's not textbook abusive behavior when you associate your girlfriend talking with her friends about your relationship, as a threat to the relationship?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 03:57 PM
6

wtf, that is straight up sociopath behavior
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 03:19 AM
14

Damn. Make a whole post on this please
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 03:07 AM
17

Love listening to Natalie Lue! She is like the savvy no-bs big sister we all need
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 04:12 PM
251

SO TRUE, I've worked in customer service since i was 14 and this is 100% the case - AND IT'S ALWAYS WHEN THEY CAN'T TAKE NO AS AN ANSWER. The ones that will fight you tooth and nail over an extra 50 cents? Old men. The ones that will storm out and tell you they are done doing business when they don't get their way? Old men. The ones that will literally scream and yell and try to get you fired when you exercise any ounce of authority as a woman? OLD MEN. They really have no social shame about thr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 03:56 PM
133

Forest Jesus lmaooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 03:28 AM
90

Yup, it's a clusterfuck for dysfunctional relationship patterns. And my heart goes out for the experience with that man. You and your child deserve better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 02:32 AM
148

It's this particular feeling I get talking to men, especially in their 20s-30s (i'm in my late 20s). Like, I can feel their lack of proper social skills alongside porn-consumption. It works hand-in-hand. Interacting with a woman of the same peer group seems to really bring out the dysfunction, cuz they literally don't know how. You gotta keep in mind that porn consumption colors their entire interface with the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 02:30 AM
214

It screams porn sick to me when a man can't comfortably look me in the eyes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:42 AM
54

Pop Culture Detective is doing really good work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 05:59 PM
45

Damn and as long as the political conversation is kept on controlling women's reproductive capacities and blaming our sexual behavior, the attention is kept well away from men and their sperm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 03:37 AM
79

I am liking these posts of animals scrubbing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/21 02:37 AM
4

I just started reading and this is straight up self destructive. "but mostly, I have to say, it’s working pretty well. No one is dead, divorced, or even seriously injured. I count that as a win." No one's dead or divorced or nearly dead, go kween!!! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 05:20 AM
44

Oh wow the comparison to other women is so real.. and the 'ethical' nonmonog community's response is to "reassess your jealousy". eye roll even if we're squashing down our jealousy and pretending it doesn't exist, it creates a scenario ripe for competition amongst women which automatically makes it a patriarchal tool. i also question the option of having many options while supposedly being tied to other people. like, to a certain extent, everyone is fair game when you have a poly lens. which lea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 04:33 AM
65

Wow this just makes me reflect on how traumatized we are as a society when it comes to relationships. IMO that's why a lot of people (myself in the past included) seek out poly - trying to fill a void/dissatisfaction they are unaware of. BUT if the 'counter-culture' says it's cool, you get to continue telling yourself it's fine and good. I don't know much about relationship anarchy, i've heard a few people use that term, but I was skeptical cuz it sounds like another iteration of ethical nonmono…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:33 AM
94

It seems like things like drinking culture and whatnot also contribute to self-destructive tendencies in queer spaces, but since they are spaces built on the foundation of acceptance and non-judgment, it goes under the wire as harmful? kinda reminds me of the toxic sides of the 'spiritual' community, where everything is LoVe so boundaries and critical thinking go out the window. ask me how i know also lol @ 'just with more glitter'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:25 AM
65

it's along the lines of, denouncing shame over sexuality, but taking it 500 miles further to where sex becomes the entire image
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:14 AM
17

amengodbless
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:12 AM
49

Yeah that's what I'm saying, I'd rather not be involved in kinky and poly spaces. I'm using queer dating apps to look for friends and queer community, and I'm kind of afraid of putting myself out there as someone who doesn't gel with the prevailing harmful sexual culture. But perhaps by putting that out there, I can attract likeminded queer folk?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 02:20 AM
139

Oh that's a great point. I often think about how gay men have taken patriarchal feminine patriarchal stereotypes and subverted them as gay cultural pillars. Like, in a way, because hetero-patriarchy others them as feminine, they take that and make it a point of pride? I guess all oppressed people follow that behavior. But yeah, gay men are still men, and I think many of these actions end up harming women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 02:18 AM
197

Yeah, i can't think of a word for it but i'll call it The Portland Effect. Where everyone is basically following along the same sex-posi kink poly guidelines under the guise of anarchy. Just my observation lol. And it's so true, poly is messy messy messy. Speaking from my own bad experience
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 02:14 AM
19

What a brilliant getaway
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 12:29 AM
7

I love a happy story that involves a queen being delivered cake
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 02:58 AM
4

This post radiates Big Queen Energy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 02:54 AM
7

I would also love to read more about this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 02:48 AM
33

That's wild to think about, cuz let me tell you that a woman with a shining intellect makes me weak in the knees. so attractive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 02:38 AM
11

It really is so eye opening to see on this sub that our experiences are more common that we think
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 02:24 AM
39

Or just dead silence
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 03:28 AM
146

Friends is trash. Full of LVM and complete with laugh tracks to trick us into thinking it's funny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:51 AM
49

Yikes it's so true though. I'm a fairly confident and serious person and don't get hit on much, thank you baby jesus. One time I was visibly really upset/crying waiting outside an airport and this utter scrote came up to me and would not leave me alone. He kept trying to talk me into taking a shuttle to the hotel he was going to. Eventually I got up and left. Point is, I rarely get approached, but when I'm visibly distressed or struggling, the scrotes come a'flockin. Says a lot about their motiv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:42 AM
56

Truly, LVM love stories in the media are a huge reason we're blindsided! I love Schitt's Creek - Johnny shows a lot of HVM behavior as many have pointed out here. BUT I can't fucking stand Ted and the way he is painted as this perfect guy! He has a lot of HV traits but his workplace romance boundaries are horrible! The fact that he sleeps with two of his secretaries?? Patrick, though, shows so many HVM traits - truly the definition of 'if he wanted to he would'. Get a man that treats you like Pa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:09 AM
19

same here :( even when i didn't want to or was experiencing pain
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:03 AM
42

^^^ exactly this. When I had sex with men i was unattracted to, it was 100% out of a feeling of obligation. Even if they didn't pressure me, i pressured myself, cuz i wanted them to like me, and that's scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 01:59 AM
39

Realest alphas take the 20 year supply of tampons and send them with a woman to space for six days
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 01:56 AM
15

LOL I was another confused person going "How could a strategist put up with this????" What a sad story tho :/ hope she wakes up soon
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 09:19 PM
2

I am glad you were believed! And the fucker got stabbed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 09:01 PM
14

That's traumatic, my god. I am horrified at your teacher's response. Glad that your mom showed some common sense and stood up for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 06:45 AM
60

I love how your parents handled this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 09:17 PM
35

I agree that some men never grow out of it, but I disagree that six year old boys aren't capable of empathy. I've seen plenty of kindness and empathy from young boys, *edit* but the culture is an overwhelming force that discourages those traits in favor of violence for boys
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 09:13 PM
1

Swing at 'em, mama!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 07:29 PM
2

It was an eye-opener for me on the way i was treating myself and thus women in my life!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 07:17 PM
20

Wow i hadn't thought about the lamentation of violent male singledom - of course professionals see the growing storm. That makes it sting so much more that women as a class are simply not believed about our experiences with said males
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:50 PM
11

You're right, it's not a child's job to teach other children. However I agree with the other posters here, it's a problem to use the r word, even with the context that their condition aligns with the dictionary definition of the word. HVW understand the implications of our choice of words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:46 PM
3

Wow those are some crystal clear examples. It really shines a light on how boys develop into individuals with little consciousness of their behavior, whereas girls perform a great deal of self-policing for the perceived comfort and pleasure of others. It would be awesome if the podcast could interview some FDS mothers to talk strategy and share observations like yours of girls' social conditioning. I imagine mothers could always use more resources and support via discussion, too. I'm not a mothe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:38 PM
2

Appropriate synonym for Catholicism
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:30 PM
22

Awesome for being direct and speaking up! Look at all these women responding that could have benefited from an adult advocating for their peace. If you feel bad for being harsh, it's likely your socialization kicking in - and you got results for your daughter! We need assertive protection for our girls!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:24 PM
14

Yup, it's 100% bad news
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:16 PM
5

EARLY FUCKING TRAINING. And we received that message from our female caregivers when boys were being physically aggressive towards us. Women carry a great deal of responsibility towards what we teach our daughters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:15 PM
5

Judging by the comments so far, this is way more of a thing than I expected!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:57 PM
10

Lolololol why does this sound like an episode of Community? Also can we talk about how lowkey aggravating it is when teachers would say shit like this? I had teachers repeatedly say things like "I'm leaving the classroom for a few minutes, Fun Sherbert is in charge" and it made me want to flip the tables. The resentment of responsibility is REAL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:55 PM
4

If you don't mind elaborating I would be interested to hear more details about her being forced to conform! Many of us would benefit from knowing the subtle ways we were socialized as female children
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:51 PM
39

This is a vital consideration. Thank you for the practical, comprehensive list!I'd also add the need to sharply assess his family's values and behavior - does his dad have anger issues? is there addiction or abuse? you're marrying into that, too, and it's extremely likely that an LVM will carry out the same behaviors especially after "locking you down". I have an extreme pick me friend who i've had to drop contact with who, according to the last time we spoke, is engaged to an NVM. She told me h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:43 PM
3

It was Catholic school for me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:11 PM
6

Agreed, it's a failure on behalf of our teachers that this happened to so many of us and even put some of us in physical danger
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:10 PM
6

It's so easy to imagine a man saying this "jokingly" when he's actually dead serious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:07 PM
3

Good for you for speaking up! Side note, it must be interesting to observe the side-by-side differences in how your twin boy and girl are treated
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:04 PM
12

I'd argue that a lot of teachers do give a shit despite their woefully inadequate pay in countries like the US. Giving a shit about kids is the reason many people stay in an underpaid profession, cuz it clearly isn't the money. When it comes to a situation like this, cultural conditioning and expectations of young girls versus boys plays a huge role even when good intentions are present.For instance, my second grade teacher had great intentions and still told me that boys are mean because they l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:00 PM
40

Holy shit, they really start training us from day one childhood huh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 02:53 PM
98

Good read!!! Let's keep it going this way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:22 AM
58

That was totally unfair to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 06:15 AM
115

let us take this moment to appreciate how truly exquisite & excellent women are
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 04:09 AM
58

how we sleep at night in our spacious beds knowing we are safe and sound and free of scrotery
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 04:08 AM
92

This sounds miserable but your writing is hilarious, thank you for the image of pterodactyl screeching while you die inside
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 04:02 AM
210

Queen shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:57 AM
75

Thank you for this insight! It's true that it's a complex situation. I'll admit that as one of those shy, "mature" girls, the result of this was deep resentment of those disruptive boys. Now that i'm older i can see that many of those kids were acting out because of deeper troubles at home. I wish our teachers had better support, teachers are so very important to the health of our world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:55 AM
244

KEYWORD: it was DELIBERATE and clear in its intentions. That's horrible what happened to you. Those adults failed you when they failed to consider your safety and needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:45 AM
6

Amazing piece of writing!!!!! These kinds of posts are much needed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 03:00 AM
26

We are all so proud of your progress! I'm congratulating you, myself, and anyone reading this on how much we have grown :')
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 02:41 AM
37

ALL HAIL THE STAREDOWN GODDESS, MAY WE LEARN FROM HER AND PIERCE SCROTES LIKE LASERS WITH OUR JUDGMENTAL GLARES
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 02:38 AM
441

Someone on here recently said they do not help men unless there is bl0od, f1re, or bod1es. Women and girls need to commit that to memory! EDIT. DO NOT HELP STRANGE MEN, PERIOD. READ THE COMMENT BY RABIDWENCH BELOW
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 02:24 AM
35

I splurged on a Womanizer per recommendation from FDS - Y'ALL, IT'S WORTH THE HYPE, AN AVERAGE MAN SIMPLY CANNOT MEASURE UP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 04:00 AM
161

^^^ Same here, and it fucked with my head in my younger years cuz I falsely equated male attention with self-worth. Now I cherish that energy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 03:59 AM
18

This is so well-said. Been celibate since March 2020 and it's been one of the best decisions of my life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 03:55 AM
19

That was a good read, I hope this conversation continues to get louder. Media needs to be held accountable. I also like the YouTube channel Pop Culture Detective for excellent analysis of misogynistic tropes perpetuated in movies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWoP8VpbpYI&ab_channel=PopCultureDetective ^ here's one titled Predatory Romance in Harrison Ford Movies ​ SIDE THOUGHT that goes on a bit of tangent and comes back to the main point: i'm just now making this connection but.. does anyone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 03:36 PM
13

...so he's a male?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 12:59 AM
54

Truly. Blech. I know it's got some questionable material, but You're Wrong About's series on Jessica Simpson's life goes into some really telling stuff about John Mayer as an abusive man. Makes my blood boil
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/21 09:55 PM
18

This list is really solid for rules of thumb - handbook material!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/21 06:07 PM
55

HVM love when we do things together. LVM lOvE when you do things for them. Stick this phrase to memory, gals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/21 05:48 PM
1

I will echo the sentiment that this sub has helped me completely drop the desire for a man and children. And now i'm finally embracing my queerness alongside radical self focus! Just focusing on women all around - myself and others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/21 03:45 AM
2

You're not alone. I stayed a little late at work tonight and it was dark driving home - first time driving home in the dark since i moved to my current location and it made me really emotional
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 03:14 AM
16

Okay but the episode description includes in the list of content warning: generalizations about men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 03:03 AM
16

This is a great exercise cuz i'm too embarrassed to type it all out. broke all the time yet managed to smoke blunts all day jordan peterson/joe rogan disciple did not have the ability to listen to me, and even admitted out loud that he straight up didn't know how to do that porn addict, which the following points all support he asked to go raw, i asked him about std testing and he whined "cuz it hurts and all his past partners were clean" (🤡which i accepted without question) didn't understand fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 02:47 AM
1

I just joined Lex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 08:05 PM
12

shakin' in his spaceboots
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 08:37 AM
21

You can see why the gov didn't want his socialist/female-forward ideas gaining popularity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 08:35 AM
24

Agreed. I think the orig article is in Bosnian so maybe there is some mistranslation of nuance here. I take issue with the use of the word 'dormant' to describe women's intelligence, Our intelligence has never been dormant, quite the opposite. Women esp woc have had to be exceptionally clever to maneuver this world. The legitimacy of our minds has been denied by patriarchy, though.It is reaffirming to read Tesla's foresight when women and girls are making such notable waves in the academic world…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 08:33 AM
2

this video is hilarious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 11:25 PM
76

She gives the impression of being trapped when she talks about not identifying with motherhood. Women deserve better than this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 03:31 AM
12

I have a hard time with this, too. Especially after some particularly bad experiences I've become kind of paranoid and even more hypervigilant, so while I trust my gut feeling, sometimes I can't tell if a bad feeling is just paranoia. Not just about men but about everything :|
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 03:46 AM
125

Agreed, I think that intimidation and violence is unique to a male-led population
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:35 AM
11

No thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 01:56 AM
17

Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 04:31 PM
47

FDEggs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 04:42 AM
12

The comment section is a mess and the audience is stone cold.. so many salty scrotes cant handle a man calling em out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 04:33 AM
155

I've never put two and two together til reading this, it's heartbreaking. Dogs are like emotional sponges of their people, it makes a lot of sense that a vast proportion of dogs have a fear of male aggression, whether directly or just as witness. Dogs, like women, are considered "property" by many and expected to obey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:49 AM
49

..and can we talk about how struggle-love is romanticized to the point where we think we're encouraged to stick it out with the broke dude because lOvE iS wOrTh iT? You see all these messages praising the woman that sticks by a man's side when he's down on his luck, which only sets the bar in hell again for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 08:50 PM
12

I do that too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 05:37 PM
6

Okay, I just don't know how we're expected to change anything without an open and honest dialogue? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 03:15 AM
39

Or, I need only myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 03:12 AM
32

I fear it this as well. Women, in our upward evolution, are only going to harder and harder for the average male to access. Good for us, bad for them, so it scares me imagining their increasingly desperate retaliations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 03:09 AM
27

I like that line of thinking. Make clear expectations, make clear demands! And though we can't assume to rely on men, we certainly need #allmen to contribute to a better world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 03:01 AM
80

Legally, socially and religiously LEGALLY, SOCIALLY, RELIGIOUSLY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 08:54 PM
12

YES EVERYONE IT IS SATIRE Someone get this gal a stand-up show!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:25 PM
65

This must be the origin of the 'stripper with the heart of gold' idea
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:57 PM
23

Yup, i used to buy into this shit too. Big cringe when i think of it. Thinking anyone is "the one" is a one-way ticket to totally blind yourself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 06:01 AM
77

"Harmless psychological fun"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 01:45 AM
39

YAY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:17 PM
20

Agree with everyone saying it's best to move on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 06:37 PM
11

That "I feel nothing" feeling is golden
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:56 PM
5

MEN RELY ON OUR POLITENESS AND TIMIDITY TO PREY ON US vital piece of information to commit to memory
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 05:51 PM
89

"..Much sex that is consented to, even affirmatively consented to, is bad: miserable, unpleasant, humiliating, one-sided, painful. “Bad sex” doesn’t have to be assault in order for it to be frightening, shame-inducing, upsetting." Really good article! This needs to be discussed more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:46 PM
109

Dumbledore said this, too."Have you any idea how much tyrants fear the people they oppress? All of them realize that, one day, amongst their many victims, there is sure to be one who rises against them and strikes back!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 05:32 AM
145

That's a lot of words for Not All Men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 06:04 PM
5

Kate Manne covers this topic in Down Girl and argues that the unborn fetus serves as a symbol for men's feelings of being neglected by women. They feel, like the fetus, uncompromisingly entitled to women's bodies and nurturing. My jaw was dropped reading about it. ​ Excerpt: (On why abortion and contraception are considered criminal) “So there’s a puzzle: what are women held to be guilty of doing or being? Withholding and failing to give, I think; being cold, callous, and heartless; neglecting t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 05:26 PM
16

That is fascinating! I wanna watch that doc!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 04:58 PM
18

Not to mention we're all the guinea pigs for unprecedented chemical exposure and the currently unknown long-term effects of technology
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 04:50 PM
15

WE DO GOT YOU ON THIS ONE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 06:23 AM
95

The hair? The pearls? DIVINE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 04:09 AM
44

And now women are using makeup, plastic surgery, and digital alteration to achieve the symmetrical Instagram face that has no pores. The standards are applying to younger and younger women as we go on, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:38 AM
42

"Sex is one of those topics that's not well-served online, or offline" Excuse me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 09:08 PM
33

YES an ex used that phrase when talking about his close friend who was accused of using drugs to coerce a woman into sex 🚩 🚩 🚩i'm repulsed looking back and playing his excuses in my head
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:47 PM
5

It wasn't an internet personality, someone I knew personally
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:12 PM
5

No it was someone I knew personally
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:11 PM
28

Yes! I feel happy donating from men who weren't the worst (but I still want to cleanse their presence). Some items though, I need to see trashed in order to feel peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:42 AM
48

THANK YOU FOR THIS POST and making that flair. I was traumatized last year by such a person, literally the type you list here. A self-proclaimed sex educator with vast credentials listed that turns out to be fraudulent and a rape-apologist. Unbelievable. When I have the energy someday I'd like to do a post about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:33 AM
21

Just some late-night sympathetic magic 💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:24 AM
6

Well, it's something I've been unpacking for a few years. But this sub definitely makes me reflect on how i've had an aversion to picturing myself in a WLW partnership. There always needed to be a man in my mental picture. Now I see with clear vision that women make my life wonderful in stark contrast to the despair men bring. I love being single at this part of my life, but dating a fellow HVW is sounding better and better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:10 AM
26

Kate Manne talks about this in Down Girl. That misogyny takes on its own unique forms based on whatever culture its in, but the end-result is the same: enforce patriarchal power. If anyone is to act out against the cultural norms that uphold patriarchy, the system of misogyny will retaliate in order to police that behavior into submission. Since a gay man goes against the heteronormative standards that uphold men's power, they are a threat to the machine. For a man to openly embrace femininity i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 06:18 AM
9

Sending LOVE to you. It was not your fault. Keep us posted in your healing journey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 06:12 AM
19

“Why aren’t you happy for me? Where is this coming from?” UGH I NEEDED TO READ THIS. Lately life has been thriving, with lots of long-awaited wins for me. There was an unexpected falling out, though, that caught me off-guard and despite life's bounty, my anxiety has me turning this situation inside out and upside down to analyze it. I keep returning to this thought: "That person really didn't seem happy for me when it seems like they should have been - their attitude took a definite turn when I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 06:09 AM
12

Does anyone else get caught up in a mind-whirl of when you see someone's narc behavior, and wonder if you yourself are the narc for calling someone else a narc?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 11:52 PM
3

Thank you! Looking forward to sharing success stories from the other side :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 11:51 PM
26

I'm moving in a few days! New job, new city. I've been trying to make this happen for over 6 months so it's a big deal for me. Wish me luck, sisters!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 08:35 PM
10

Good for your daughter for listening to herself! It makes me livid that men in power can and do let this shit slide because they see nothing wrong with it. Of course they see nothing wrong, they feel the same way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 08:31 PM
128

Fun word facts! If you look at the word enchant, it contains the French verb 'to sing' - chanter, and in English the word chant, to repeat a word or phrase often in a ceremonial setting. Never underestimate the power of music. It's used since time immemorial to affect our subconscious. I could write a whole post about this. To answer your question though, if those lyrics are bugging you, it's for a reason. I've come to the same stance since coming to FDS. Can't un-see the misogyny that is normal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 08:24 PM
18

Bi woman here. Excellent post! I always love reading what you write. FDS has also opened my eyes up to my internalized homophobia, and has me wanting to put more energy into romantic relationships with women - i've never been in a relationship with a woman. FDS helps across the board with all relationships, friends, romantic, family, because we place the SELF at the highest priority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 08:09 PM
32

A paradise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 05:21 AM
2

Yes! I always learn new things from her video essays
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 05:11 AM
1

You're the 2nd to recommend that book! Got the audiobook :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 10:50 PM
10

Does she have a Youtube channel!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 10:32 PM
6

I love Khadija's channel!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 08:23 PM
9

most misandrist women are more... inclined to TRANSIENT misandrist leanings when triggered You nailed that on the head, I hadn't thought about it that way. It's true, seeing the vile actions permitted with impunity under the patriarchy causes "flare ups" of misandry, but i don't see many women burning that fire 24/7, it's simply not productive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 06:43 AM
18

Getting free sex is not a privilege for women CONCISE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 03:18 AM
27

You're not rude at all, the question in the first place was kind of rhetorical. At the end of the day I doubt many of us give a flying fuck why 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 12:05 AM
139

lol no one else is either
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 11:52 PM
30

WELL-SAID
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 10:54 PM
89

AH the answer to literally every "why do they say .... about women? "
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 10:52 PM
14

Same here! I remember saying from a really young age that I disliked babies, and they would always "joke" that I'd be the one to have a bunch of kids. Sorry folks, #CF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 08:49 PM
19

Astrology requires too much introspection for men to grasp
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 08:47 PM
29

I've seen this in Mormon culture too - the idea that an unmarried woman by 25 is an old maid. The younger they start, the more babies they can crank out 😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 08:39 PM
44

He a mistake
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 08:25 PM
2

My copy of Wolves is tear-stained too 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 07:59 PM
15

Agreed! D'Angelo does amazing work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 03:05 AM
69

Never thought of it that way, makes a ton of sense! And today it's the surgically/digitally enhanced big butts and big lips that were popularized by white women who purchased those features.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 12:02 AM
13

As you should, those things are fabulous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 10:20 PM
194

..this must be the guy with the cage of screaming baby raccoons
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 09:48 PM
68

She makes great points in a lot of her videos. I can see why some of us are heckled at the 'bimbo as empowerment' idea though, and I don't mean to attack her expression when I say that. The bimbo culture puts focus on unapologetic hyper-femininity for women, gay men, and nonbinary people, which i love. Like that clip from Legally Blonde someone posted earlier, the stereotype that hyper-femininity equals vapidity is harmful. We'd be stupid to ignore, however, the cultural narrative at hand that t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 09:40 PM
71

If sex-work actually empowered women, men would screaming to end it. case closed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 05:21 PM
14

Thank you for sharing!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 03:30 AM
7

I said it once and i'll say it again, this haircut is a red flag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 09:03 PM
6

^^ exactly the same for me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 08:46 PM
159

Only thing she she's trying to win is a spot on the will
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 08:39 PM
9

And through the magic of Belle's love he *~transforms~* into a handsome prince 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 09:27 PM
38

This is probably why parents have always discouraged girl children from being outspoken or adventurous or confident. Women like that never get “picked”. my mind is blown
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 08:29 PM
19

I'm in my late 20s and it wasn't until FDS that I realized how much it was sold to me, too! I can't imagine what it's like for teens now. Also, so glad you are here at 17 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:45 AM
39

I'm watching her tiktoks now - she is an ex-escort and has a wealth of valuable insight to share about the reality of SW
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 12:05 AM
16

And you have these huge icons like Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson shitting on feminism. I think most men today lack a solid sense of self, so it's no wonder that they take Joe and Jordan's word as law.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:38 PM
30

Men's fear of death is at the core of all patriarchal religions. The concept of reincarnation and a circular life-death-life cycle was somewhat universal across goddess-worshipping cultures. We'd see ourselves in nature and assume we are the same - each winter, plants die, and each spring, they are born again. Christianity introduced the idea that this life is our ONLY life and if we fuck it up, we spend the rest of eternity burning in hell. So instead of embracing death as a natural part of lif…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 09:35 PM
48

I haven't experienced it IRL, but I would expect an HVM to be able to listen with compassion and empathy - HV traits. When men get defensive about feminism it's because they think it's an attack on them personally - that reaction in and of itself reveals that they are guilty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 08:54 PM
103

Wow, they knew men would be scared shitless to see themselves doing what women do. Not like that is a logical leap if women got the vote, look at us now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 08:48 PM
123

Joke's on him, I got cellulite AND stretch marks by 14
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 07:10 AM
34

Really brave. I cried with her. I'm glad the interviewer supports her when she cries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 07:08 AM
7

I agree that we don't "attract" certain types of people, though unresolved trauma will generally lead us to choose harmful partners over and over again (See: Women Who Love Too Much. free ebook here). I disagree that men can't sense our vulnerability. Men overwhelmingly lack the capacity for empathy for women. Our vulnerability, though, is something they can and do use to their benefit, so they prey on it. A vulnerable woman, sadly, has weaker boundaries and is thus easier prey. Teenagers and yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 10:11 PM
10

Fluently!!! There are so many ways to show and receive love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 10:01 PM
5

Can confirm. Love languages came up in a friend group discussion and the LVM i was seeing pulled up the test to take it on his phone. He wasn't even halfway done with the test when he put his phone down in a tizzy and said something along the lines of "This is dumb, I don't need to take this test when I obviously know my love language is physical touch!" Side note: I had foolishly disclosed some of my trauma to him, and he knew that touch was really effective in soothing me. I thought it was cut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 10:00 PM
41

She is gorgeous with those Rapunzel tresses! No scrote is gonna lock her up in a tower
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 07:27 PM
5

That podcast looks awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 05:57 AM
11

All they could think about was the check for getting a photo of her. despicable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 05:28 AM
2

I've got it cued up now! Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 05:26 AM
95

He looks thrilled /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 03:13 AM
11

I didn't even notice the ring i was so enthralled by your pastel nails
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:03 AM
13

I would love to read a post about your experience growing up like that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 10:14 PM
33

Damn. Worth reading but major TW. These stories need as much attention as they can get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 10:13 PM
6

Yes, just came out several days ago. Framing Britney Spears on Hulu
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 10:11 PM
9

Yes, it's called Framing Britney Spears on Hulu
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 10:11 PM
19

like religious fundamentalism? and yes, lucky was 100% a cry for help
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 10:00 PM
17

The fact that her anguish was the world's entertainment.. :( f*cked
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 10:00 PM
22

Yeah, Justin's apology is trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 09:59 PM
10

You're right! I gotta rewatch this showww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 08:11 AM
28

Donnie, Alison's husband from Orphan Black! I haven't watched it in years and I don't think I'm fully caught up but when I think of HVM behavior, he definitely comes to mind. He goes so hard for his wife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 06:23 AM
89

I forget which book talked about this, but basically that violence from an intimate partner is given more leniency in court than violence from strangers! The system gives major favor to abusers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:23 AM
14

Scrotes with mommy fantasies are mad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:49 PM
33

dukkadukkadukkadukka
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:21 PM
4

Ugh I was (keyword: was) always someone who went out of their way to compliment men because tHeY dOnT gEt eNouGh cOmPliMeNts. I'm generally a friendly, warm person to everyone - I want to bring joy to the world in what ways i can. But now I cringe to think of how my actions were interpreted. Saving that energy for women, girls, and children only now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:59 PM
9

Or make breadsticks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:51 PM
1

Book club yes!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:47 PM
28

My LVM ex used to talk in this toddler voice and i automatically read this ^ in that voice 🤢 and yes, over a year into the relationship he told me about his fantasy of me being the mom holding him like a baby. few moments compare to the repulsion i felt in that moment. NSFW: This grosses me out to even type out. He would routinely suck my on nipples during "foreplay" (porn-addict, terrible in bed) and from the very beginning I just felt disgusted by this action. Like, the disgust is so real that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:37 PM
5

YES YES THAT IS 100% A GIANT BANNER OF A RED FLAG
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:15 PM
14

This posts gets better with every paragaph!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:08 AM
78

Generally, i listen more to flags when it comes to commentary on social things. For instance, and this is a no-brainer at FDS, if the topic of women's issues or the topic of patriarchy, the overwhelming majority of men will get defensive. This is not pink flag territory so much as red flag, IMO, because in these cases they are revealing 1) how much they've listened to women and 2) their capacity for empathy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 12:18 AM
58

Covid has been very revealing for people's levels of empathy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 12:15 AM
1

Oh so sweet, how delightful!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 11:00 PM
13

It is truly impossible to go back once FDS removes the wool from your eyes. Every single day we get reminders, from the people around us, to media, and especially on the internet, why we need to ruthlessly stick to our principles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 10:24 PM
7

What a sublime evening, and well-deserved too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 10:05 PM
273

Older men aren't better in bed because most men are bad in bed. ding ding ding, case closed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 10:03 PM
44

And that's a situation where it's your fucking obligation to spend time with those people. Smh. Shame on him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 10:02 PM
14

Yup, that icky shit is on him. You were doing your best. Being manipulated and lied to feels terrible and it happens to the best of us :( YOU DESERVE BETTER!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:00 AM
41

Absolutely!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:34 AM
92

If there's one thing FDS has shown me, it's that men will use anything and everything to manipulate us. I would never ever show a man FDS, as it would give him all the "correct" steps for him to fake. Not saying that to shame you, OP!! Of course, even though he had the steps, your experience shows that LVM will always reveal themselves Even though he sucks i'm glad he introduced you to FDS, and I am even more glad you are DONE with his ass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:30 AM
246

ABSOLUTELY. If he makes you feel embarrassed to be associated with him.. nope nope nope. Been there. I was the possum guarding its trash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:27 AM
14

High key
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:24 AM
5

Send them to yourself instead
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 12:31 AM
2

PRECIOUS ANGEL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 12:26 AM
26

I love it!! I'd buy cards of this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 12:18 AM
10

single most important thing: I am 100% better off by myself. FDS obliterated my want to be with someone just to be with someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 12:12 AM
7

FABULOUS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 12:03 AM
253

^^^important. no validation, and we grow into adult children that will accept any form of attention just because we're desperate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 11:56 PM
40

Yup, I third this statement that i was taught to be a nice doormat over everything
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 11:54 PM
6

Fabulous post!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 06:41 AM
11

CONGRATULATIONS! WE ARE THRILLED FOR YOUR LOSS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 10:09 PM
8

This is such a good point she makes! When we don't have a name for something, we can't collectively discuss it! That's why terms like LVM, etc, are so fucking important for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:07 PM
23

What the fuck is the appeal of committing any act of violence??? Why is that a desire? WHy?????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:01 PM
108

She is the gift.. I'll give that response an A+!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 07:56 PM
13

Smol Nob Rob
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:09 AM
10

I never knew it was for THAT reason. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 08:08 AM
25

scrote logic: i'll hit her with the 💯📖, that'll really run my point home
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 05:36 AM
31

#GlobalResistance Let us know if your FDS sisters can contribute to the fight!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 05:33 AM
16

As if their hands aren't already glued around their dicks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 05:01 AM
2

Just downloaded!! Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 03:12 AM
285

I was raised this way too - I thought my only worth was in being "helpful". which in turn made me resentful. There's nothing wrong with being helpful, but when your worth is tied up with it, that's bad news. Of course it's common for women to be raised this way, to be helpers and cleaners and tidy-uppers. Any sort of need to prove oneself contributes to pick-me behavior. TLDR: let the boys clean up after their damn selves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 07:20 AM
77

Ladies, we've all heard of breadcrumbing by now, but now men have a new trend!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 07:16 AM
259

I just started reading Down Girl by Kate Manne (described as a treatment of misogyny in the tradition of analytic feminist philosophy). In her treatment, the author cites a reoccurring pattern of misogyny across all cultures: that anyone who acts against the norms that hold up patriarchy in that specific cultural setting, will be harshly retaliated against. Basically, anyone that does not comply is a threat. The outspoken woman? 100% a threat. I think i saw this book recommended by someone on FD…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 07:12 AM
91

"We literally sit around jerking off to porn obsessively, emotionally numb waiting for a healing Goddess (who has done the work) to come along and pick us up and mold us and nurture us." UGH THIS MAKES ME FEEL SO FUCKING USED, as it should. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 05:51 AM
9

Unrelated but your writing has an eloquence and bite that I so appreciate. Sis, I'm struggling with this same dilemna. Sometimes I scream into a pillow. Sometimes I yell about it while talking with friends. Experiencing validated anger with other women is SO IMPORTANT TO THE HEALING JOURNEY. I'm in my late 20s and still trying to accept that anger is an acceptable feeling to feel. I will say, the anger has acted as fuel in some ways: fuel to make art, fuel to speak up, fuel to read, research, WR…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:08 AM
3

Beautiful beautiful quote!! Saving that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 04:01 AM
9

I just can't do things for someone when I know 1) they wouldn't appreciate it, 2) they wouldn't do the same for me. QUEEN SHIT, TRYING TO CULTIVATE THIS ENERGY For real, my "selfless" identity has brought nothing but misery into my life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 03:58 AM
3

Agreed!! More of this please, it's insanely helpful not to mention inspiring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 03:27 AM
44

🤷‍♂️ The most LVM emoji of all time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 06:30 PM
28

An interesting read! The demonization of cats (as representative of the feminine) by the church has long been a subject of fascination to me. And by fascination, I mean it's repulsive, but brings today's world into context.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:55 AM
12

THANK YOU MODS!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 03:04 AM
80

AwardsForGoodboys is AMAZING
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 02:56 AM
24

I'm gonna agree with most people saying don't start until your early 20s. I had my first [older] boyfriend starting at age 15, and another [older] boyfriend when I had just turned 18. I was a child. Both of these relationships caused long-lasting damage. At that age you are really blind to how young you are. I had A LOT of insecurity over "not having experience" romantically or sexually in my teens and early 20s. Wish I could have seen how it is 110% NORMAL and even BETTER to lack experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 04:54 AM
5

HELLO DAISY!! 🌼 🌼🌼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 04:41 AM
21

wish i could upvote twice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 02:17 AM
42

Such a good point. At this stage, let's just let nature take its course and weed out these men from the gene pool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 02:16 AM
284

So calm while she annihilates him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 11:24 PM
11

This looks like a cosplay of Commander and Mrs. Waterford (pre-Gilead)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:08 PM
6

My thoughts exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 10:06 PM
44

Saving this! I've been meaning to make a post about this for some time and you reminded me. I've been able to turn my creative passion into a business, and have been doing so for quite a while considering my age. One of the biggest struggles, exactly as you point out, is negotiation when it comes to money. I've done A LOT of wonderful work for free, because I love it, and because it helps other young creative people out. When it comes to being paid, though, 99% of the time it's men who put up a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 08:42 PM
16

Fabulous that you are here! Welcome welcome welcome
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:01 AM
643

You want to be sexually empowered? Don’t do stuff you don’t like PAINT THE STREETS WITH THIS MESSAGE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 04:59 AM
26

totally! didn't mean to imply that you were saying we do. you nailed it saying that we are all women who have gone through hell!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 03:37 AM
203

I would argue that we do give a damn about skin color, religion, and political leaning, in the sense that we have the responsibility to educate ourselves about the realities women face around the world. Reading women's experiences from different backgrounds has opened my eyes so much about our shared experiences, and the multivalent nature of patriarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 11:37 PM
1

In my experience, women-only spaces tend to work as a team automatically to accomplish a goal. There is an emphasis on harmony and collaboration. One the other hand, male-only spaces have a need for hierarchy - someone in charge and everyone else below him, with subsequent struggles for power to become the one in charge. I've observed this comparing groups of women working on a project versus groups of men. There are a few books I've read that show the science behind this: The Female Brain by ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 08:38 PM
6

Ugh really :(((( gonna look into this more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 05:28 AM
9

Yes!! The system does them damage. But that's no excuse - they benefit from a patriarchal system and fully know it. And i must admit i feel smug when i remember that men will never ever ever get to experience the magic we get out of our female friendships. And don't come for me for using the word female
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 05:26 AM
35

Hey, don't kink shame him just because he resembles a fat overgrown baby
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 03:00 AM
143

*takes notes feverishly*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 02:57 AM
143

the lecture: 🗣 💣 🔪🔨 the smile at the end: 🌸🌼🦋🌼🌸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 02:55 AM
18

So true, boys are not born hateful, they're assimilated into a culture that is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:08 AM
2

LOLOLOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 10:22 PM
7

I wonder that constantly.. such is the cycle, after all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 10:00 PM
6

A rainbow of flowers and a rainbow in the background!! Rainbows everywhere i looooove it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 09:49 PM
13

Yes, it can happen to anyone, such is the nature of carefully crafted manipulation! I thought I was too smart to fall to mind games of psychotic people but it happened to me last year, too, and WDHDT has helped clear up so much confusion. AND I AM GLAD YOU ARE FREE!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 09:40 PM
13

I am so glad you were able to leave! And absolutely, Lundy is doing much-needed work. It feels especially important to see a man obliterate the most common excuses and manipulation pulled by other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 09:37 PM
26

YUP!! It's reinforced everywhere by the culture at large.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 09:35 PM
5

How do you think crime and justice might be handled in a women-led society?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 06:37 AM
64

Les scrôtes sont fâchés
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:39 AM
32

What is with scrotes' consistently poor use of emojis when talking to women???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 04:33 AM
2

Whoa there
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 01:56 AM
90

Graceful, talented, legendary!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 11:43 PM
12

Very good point there! Oh my gosh... if they succeeded, can you imagine the aftermath of cloned children brought up in a world of only men? Like time after time, women are the only ones who stick up for the well being of children in the first place. Yikes x1000
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 11:37 PM
38

and Hades from Hercules!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:37 PM
19

Oh she's not giving you what you want? Don't listen to her preferences, just diagnose her with anxiety and have her watch a video about fixing her broken confidence! You're welcome buddyboy!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:32 PM
36

We're living pretty close to scenario B already 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:03 PM
20

WE ARE GLAD YOU'RE HERE!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 08:00 PM
30

A bit of a boring life is really the dream.. simplicity, contentedness!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:39 PM
10

Just 4.6 million years! lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:30 PM
6

Oooh i'll have to hit up the library and see if they have it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:29 PM
27

My exact thought too! The women would nurture each other, and the men would destroy each other
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:28 PM
22

Good for you for holding your own value high! Love to hear about it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:37 AM
105

What are some indications, in your experience, that someone is radfem ally? I'm finally waking up to the performative "feminism" that men perpetuate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:31 AM
269

How easily they lie, and how often. Everything - and i mean everything - started making sense when i realized this. From personal relationships, to institutional groups of men (government, corporations, law-enforcement, colonialism). They will lie AT ANY COST to serve their own interests. Before FDS, I projected my own sense of honesty on to everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:28 AM
114

There are way too many stories like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:23 AM
13

the gasp! darling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 03:07 AM
20

Ugh I used to love Doja so much but now a lot of her stuff makes me cringe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 09:01 AM
52

Why Does He Do That? talks about this exact thing. Mental health is NOT an excuse, it's their mindset that allows justification of their own behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 08:59 AM
32

YES, popular music especially does so much to glorify terrible relationship patterns. I have a theory that popular music is used deliberately to brainwash the masses.. for example how much alcohol is also glorified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 08:39 AM
18

Really good video. She's fierce, her protective passion really comes through
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 08:33 AM
190

I'm a Christian woman but realistic, so my husband can do whatever the fuck he wants and I'll submit 😊 😊 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 04:14 AM
7

Lololol WE DO, i was literally just noticing that earlier! i love seeing pickadaisy amongst comments 💗🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 02:47 AM
26

Ugh I hear you there. Compulsory niceness is the training manual for girls
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 01:11 AM
48

Imagine FDS was about creating a superficial image of what men want... Exactly, FDS boils down to doing OUR best for OURSELVES. We're trying to eliminate the tendency to do anything in order to please a man. This entire list just points to how fucking obsessed men are with women. They have guides to faking their entire lives to get women. gRoss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 10:14 PM
9

What the..?? is this actually a thing???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:43 PM
1

What the..?? is this actually a thing???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:43 PM
28

Seriously. Strikes terror in me cuz he's also like.. a child.. and already striking terror
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:28 PM
22

I was bingeing her videos yesterday and can't get enough!!! Intelligent, passionate, impactful, and GORGEOUS to BOOT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:24 PM
1

I was bingeing her videos yesterday and can't get enough!!! Intelligent, passionate, impactful, and GORGEOUS to BOOT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:24 PM
190

That's a lot of words for "HIDE THE EVIDENCE!!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:20 PM
1

That's a lot of words for "HIDE THE EVIDENCE!!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:20 PM
69

Yes everyone deserves love, absolutely. But men are not entitled to your love until proven worthy. I relate - i share the mindset that we are all children of god, but pre-FDS I excused a lot of bad behavior under that pretense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 09:07 PM
18

Handbook material! Excellent arguments made here. It's such a perfect trap, too. "Sex positivity" seems like the perfect solution to the purity culture/religious backgrounds we were raised in, where women's sexuality is forbidden. So while we think we are rebelling against the oppressive system, we play right into its hands by becoming """sexually empowered""". I certainly believed that i was flipping my middle finger to the catholic church by embracing poly, bdsm, casual sex, the whole nine yar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 05:08 AM
27

For real, reading some of these subs has me making this face. I often think about unsubscribing from AskWomen and TwoX but it keeps my eyes open. It wasn't that long ago that it all seemed totally normal to me, and that's scary
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 04:47 AM
202

"...learned how to influence people to like me as a person" 🚩 🚩 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 03:36 AM
7

Yes, the goal for many is to find a healthy relationship someday. But we don't need men. The second we think we need a man, we lose. So we're happy being single. And should someone who is worthy of us come our way, great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 10:17 PM
33

I would love to read more about your experience growing up there!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 10:01 PM
22

It hurts bad, it's like vinegar on a cut every time you think about it. We are brainwashed into appealing to their egos, we scurry at any chance to build them up and make them feel less pathetic. Remember when we were so deluded that we wouldn't have dared been disgusted? And now looking back we react with repulsion, and rightfully so! We've grown SO MUCH!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 09:40 AM
25

Yeah, that was really inappropriate on both of their parts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 01:27 AM
44

Every single day I'm so glad things didn't work out how I once wanted them to!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 12:35 AM
7

Your voice is needed! We need more knowledge about psychic damage form sex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 11:49 PM
33

The journey of a thousand blocks begins with a single Cheeto
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 11:15 PM
8

So you met him! Small world! lolol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 10:18 PM
84

If they say this shit, they're exposing the fact that their sexual interest lacks respect. And they know it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 10:15 PM
4

Where can we buy your book!!?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 08:42 PM
133

Disgusting. Thank god she left him. Why was your friend talking to him about your sex life though? Doesn't seem like something a friend would do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:58 PM
10

Very important post!! It sucks but it's true: hindsight seems to be the best validation of our intuition, because we're so brainwashed to disregard our body's own knowing. All of us have horror stories about what happened when we ignored that feeling and brushed it off. The Gift of Fear is a must-read about this topic!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:54 PM
4

That was my thought too. Cmon y'all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:41 PM
7

thank you for typing all this out!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:34 PM
46

The problem is not that women are too picky, it's that men are consistently performing below us in every stage of life ALL OVER THE WORLD, HONEY. This is what you get, patriarchy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:30 PM
24

I never get tired of seeing this photo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:26 PM
3

👏👏 good for you!! I'm ALL FOR incorporating the "bloodcurdling scream" tactic over being polite
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:19 PM
8

Pre-FDS literally IS the blinder bonnets
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:15 PM
6

We love to see women getting treated like precious gems!! Love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 06:47 AM
4

Eloquent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 06:45 AM
17

Oh my gosh :( I can't imagine what that does to a young girl. It's heartbreaking to think of the incredible talent she possessed from a young age, only to be exploited. Exploitation kills the creative soul - a story we see repeated over and over and over with women throughout history. It's particularly insidious that young girls look up to these child stars, thinking that fame is something to chase, when behind the scenes there is horrific treatment that completely fucks them up for the rest of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 06:42 AM
159

Also works for: Me watching TV post-FDS Listening to 98% of music post-FDS Observing literally every man post-FDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 06:31 AM
16

This is how it feels reading male-dominated threads on the internet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 04:00 AM
2

Sure! When the flowers' heads look like they;re about to droop, remove them from the vase. Tie the stems up with some string and hang them from a nail or tack. The dried flowers will last a long time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 03:53 AM
5

Gorgeous!! I love to dry flowers upside down when their time comes, and hang them on the wall to enjoy them for years to come!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 07:02 AM
9

So cute in a lil teapot!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 07:00 AM
64

Where do i get those red pants though??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 06:55 AM
76

Ugh thanks for posting this. The other day I was picking up an order from a printing shop and the clerk made a fucking gross incest-implying joke. Clearly inappropriate and made me uncomfortable, but I go ahead and """"laugh""""" and make some quip to brush it off. It's the automatic reaction - as soon as i left i was wondering why the fuck i faked a laugh for that. Why is that?? I wish i would have just stared him down instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 06:54 AM
63

Queen shit! Realistically though i wouldn't expect a man to take the L with grace and walk away
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 06:45 AM
61

SAME, reading this i thought "well damn i'd pay money to watch footage of this"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 02:32 AM
4

2021 we are no longer underestimating our worth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 04:39 AM
27

Raise your hand if you've worked behind a bar and an old man's monologuing [combined with your societal upbringing to bE pOLiTe] has prevented you from being able to do your job! 🙋🏻 🙋🏻 🙋🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 04:37 AM
7

They talk and talk and never shut up, like they haven't talked to someone in so long that they just have to get it all out if that ain't the truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:30 AM
1

Found this guy from a ~spiritual~ podcast last year when i was up to my neck in some toxic spirituality bullshit 🤡He was talking about father wounds, which i desperately needed guidance on, so was happy to find a resource. While he had some good stuff to say, I always got such a weird vibe from him. Post FDS, it all makes so much sense. His haircut alone is a red flag. I find that these male spiritual coaches have major god complexes and get off to the attention. And yes, there is usually some t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 10:56 PM
17

Yess doctoral candidate thank you for doing good in the world! Love her gentle energy and informative explanations! Subscribed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 10:24 PM
93

What did she say in this interview? Something along the lines of, a man is like dessert, you don't really need it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 06:10 AM
55

they try desperately to make you see nothing but their best qualities while shoving you closer and closer to the altar wow check mate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 05:59 AM
19

I know a lot of us cringe at our past choices here, but this comment makes me realize we can actually appreciate the cringe! Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:31 AM
47

C-A-S-T-R-A--- cough cough oops i meant C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:28 AM
23

This sub is teaching me that more and more each day and it makes me want to vomit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:27 AM
61

He jacked off.. to marina and the dimonds? Nooooooo!!! See if a guy told me he was into her music I would automatically like him more. Thanks for the heads up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:26 AM
43

I'm at a place in life where I have found so much solace in not valuing male opinions of me. This this this this this this and also this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:24 AM
18

Your username is so stinkin cute!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 06:05 AM
166

Gentleness is such a valuable quality 💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:04 AM
5

Lol i watched his other videos of giving men pink lighters. The guy behind the counter is so nonchalant and cheeky giving out pink lighters, i love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 12:03 AM
17

She's been calling out the patriarchy from the get-go AND makes bangers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 11:53 PM
22

LOVE HER
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 11:46 PM
26

I have no words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 11:45 PM
13

I hadn't thought about this!! Holy shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 08:19 AM
21

Put your pants on Kyle, it's time you got a real job
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 08:19 AM
158

Ew.. I just tried it. School girl = pornified School boy = images are of actual children doing normal things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 12:07 AM
41

​ 🎶She sees you when you're lying, she see's you when you're fake. She knows your dick never makes your girl come so she'll be gone before daybreak 🎶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:06 AM
16

Your weekend sounds amazing! full of pampering, wellness, education, entertainment, and delights to the senses 💓Love it!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 10:24 PM
41

When it comes to the issues that affect men, like mental health, I agree it's a huge problem and needs to be addressed. But the reason for these problems is men. Their rules, their culture, their power structures, their ideas, their dicks. The perpetrators of male sexual assault? Nearly always men. Men believe it was always their GOD-GIVEN right to be the head of the household, and they left the house in shambles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 10:21 PM
41

SAME, my spirit giggles with glee at this post
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 10:11 PM
4

Yup, exactly. Like in this scenario when you clearly state the solution (just listen to me), it still doesn't happen. Nope. That's not love
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 09:39 PM
121

The Girlfriend Liberation Front has arrived! You sweatin', scrotes? edit: LOL LOOK HOW DOWNVOTED THIS POST IS! does the truth hurt?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 09:37 PM
22

Crazy I was just thinking of this tonight - that every man I've dated has been an addict! -First "boyfriend" when I was 16 claimed to be a sex addict and said several times he has an addictive personality (we never had sex, thank gawd, but he did with other girls including his ex and my friend 🤡)he was mentally unstable and brought a great deal of chaos into my life, but I felt numb to it the entire time. -Next boyfriend- I was a HS senior, 18, and he had graduated 5 years prior. Gross. He had t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 09:14 AM
56

This reminds me of an ex of mine. I would try and talk to him about life things that upset me, just cuz y'know, i am human and need support by way of people listening. Nope, he wouldn't couldn't listen, he'd just try and "solve" things for me. It took me a while to realize how much i fucking resented this. So i began telling him, "Hey, when I'm upset, I just need you to listen and be present. When you try and solve things instead of listening, it makes me more upset." This immediately made him g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 08:18 AM
54

saving this. of course they hate it, it exposes their inability to listen to anything other than their own voice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 08:06 AM
93

Did she foot the bill after?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 04:16 AM
41

Sir........the ellipses..........
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 03:50 AM
5

Yup - can confirm. Pre-FDS I was involved in a kink/BDSM community in which I ignored a lot of red flags. Like, a lot. You nailed it - massive issues with consent and RAMPANT issues with misogyny under the guise of "wokeness". Looking back is really heartbreaking because there is trauma within everyone underlying it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 03:34 AM
19

Appreciate the thoughtfulness! We need more men advocating for better behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 03:15 AM
235

Nice try Hooters, you're still trash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 03:06 AM
21

I had one guy unload all of his relationship baggage on me much too early Beep beep the scrote is trying to get your sympathy for cheap! I really recommend reading Women Who Love Too Much. Explains why we repeatedly attract these types of men. ​ https://1lib.us/book/3605557/8119f8 download here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:37 AM
28

Yes! In some indigenous cultures, status and wealth was determined not by how much one kept for themselves but by how much one could give away to others!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:33 AM
1

Would love a link to this!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:28 AM
17

Watch actions not words. CONSISTENCY matters. When there is inconsistency but we refuse to recognize it, we constantly dream of the potential. Assume that this man will stay exactly the same as he is now - are you happy with that in 10 years? 50? If he needs to change in order for your dream to come true, you're idealizing the idea of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 08:44 AM
9

So proud of you! That was not an easy thing to do. Even when we know they aren't good for us, the grief is real. Cry it out sis, and be gentle with yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 08:28 AM
10

It’s only when people feel irreplaceable in your life that they start disrespecting you Aaand this is why we're no longer pouring our hearts out unless they've proven they also have a heart
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:49 AM
76

Can we get some likes for this brave soldier?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 05:46 AM
29

radiance, grace, wisdom, intelligence, warmth 💓 💓 💓there is so much to love about being a woman 💓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:16 AM
11

The older I get the more I love myself, and it only gets better! I am truly excited to earn a head of grey hair and reach that stage of womanhood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:14 AM
1

Agreed, it should be required reading for young women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 01:38 AM
1

Let us know what you think when you do read it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 01:07 AM
4

https://z-lib.org/ free ebooks here too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 09:42 PM
2

Yup! I've fallen hard as fuck for potential more than once, and it blinded me to how unhappy i was with that person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 09:40 PM
8

Indeed!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 07:52 AM
4

And tell your friends, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 07:51 AM
39

BOY BYE ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:41 AM
36

Fabulous!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:37 AM
11

Oh hun I'm glad you are safe. Thank you for sharing. You most definitely did not deserve this. There are many of us that can attest how manipulative love bombing is. Hope you are pampering yourself with great care ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:34 AM
25

Would you be fine with them if they stayed exactly as they are now, without ever changing? Their health, maturity, finances? How they treat you? If the answer is no, the man is a no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:28 AM
14

There is a need for that for sure. Would love to listen! Maybe you could post it with throwaway account or PM us links when it's launched!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:35 AM
12

What's your podcast about!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:19 AM
20

❤️Get into therapy again ❤️Relocate to a place that supports my health, live in a lovely place of my own ❤️Adopt a cat or dog ❤️Pour all the energy I would have poured into a man, into mySelf and my female friendships ❤️Continue building up financial wellness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:18 AM
3

Yes!! We love to see you succeed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:36 AM
29

Adding pockets to dresses? That's fabulous!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:33 AM
6

this makes my skin crawl :'( Fuck the catholic church and its complicity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:26 AM
16

That is humiliating... waht the fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:23 AM
4

Oh god yes. Went to a Catholic elementary school - the priest later got busted for kiddie porn. 5th/6th grade had a combined classroom. Old man counselor would come up and give shoulder massages to the girls. My friend told her mom and she scolded her and basically told her to shut up about it. 8th grade - science teacher preferred that we call him "Master" High school - big scandal recently, a teacher (who is also a pastor, surprise surprise) got arrested for sexually assaulting at least one 14…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:19 AM
18

^^^ this. and it helps brainwash the girls
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 01:09 AM
17

If you haven't already done a post on financial goals, please do! I want to start investing and feel intimidated/don't know where to begin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 07:01 AM
4

Would probably start with "Well actually.."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 06:55 AM
137

100%. When i worked as a server this bothered me so bad. I noticed the stark difference in how tables would react to a non-emotive female server versus a non-emotive male server. If you've worked in customer service you know this. People would react poorly to me when I was neutral and did not put on the over-the-top bubbly happy persona. Meanwhile, my male coworkers could get by fine without smiling and with few words. The male version of neutral was fine, but my version of neutral was hostile. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:27 AM
12

He says he's so comfortable with me and his wife doesn't give him enough compliments! I know it's a pandemic but he only lives 500 miles away so I've got the ticket booked!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:55 AM
18

I'm just thinking about the money and time she spent on all of this..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:13 AM
9

I love that movie too! Need to rewatch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:33 AM
16

Bullet dodged. Proud of you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:30 AM
9

The more I hear about how scr*tes treat their pregnant wives, the more it breaks my heart. they should be pampering her 24/7. and these men are supposed to be fathers??? the poor child. they didn't ask for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:40 PM
20

But he said "so there's that" 😍 😍 😍idk ladies i know he's married but i think he's the one??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:35 PM
10

There's an A&E doc on hulu about this! Dating apps are legally protected in so many of these scenarios where violent men with criminal background hunt women on their apps. https://www.hulu.com/series/dating-app-horrors-the-untold-story-cc29a2ec-0d06-4ec5-8112-b7dbc1ec5ff3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:27 PM
7

i always used to assume that everyone shares my level of introspection. like..what do they even think about?!?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 11:24 PM
11

I've been wanting to read this book!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:49 PM
8

The.. cases... vanish? They just... disappear?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:46 PM
22

Oh how I wish i would have blocked and deleted much much sooner. Since my first bf at the age of 16 i've always been the one to execute the break up, despite massive protest on behalf of the scrote. They NEVER allow for a clean break. The calls, the texts, the letters... all in the name of """"closure"""", which is bullshit. Every time, i sure as hell did not want to talk with them but i didn't want to be mean 🤡 so would oblige by their wishes. One dude even fooled me into thinking he really wan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:44 PM
1

We are all rooting for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:35 PM
2

Fuck yeah! Amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:32 PM
1

Yessss so close!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:32 PM
191

because selfies are homo so they must show how truly ludicrous they find it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:28 PM
8

The eyebrow thing... why?? do they?? do this??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:26 PM
8

Yes way to go! Those very things have been on my mind as the next step, love to hear about it!! You deserve it, and give me hope! Crazy cuz my skin has been in bad shape since May. Ready for the next phase!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 09:06 AM
2

Can be anything we feel pressured (by our inner critic or by others) to do when we really don't want to. Attend an event, answer a phone call, give someone a hug, volunteer your time and energy. Guilt trips qualify. I was thinking how obligation is a big trigger for me due to its heavy presence my upbringing. Based on the discussions here on FDS i wondered if anyone could relate!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:59 AM
2

It may seem daunting but you can do it! We're all here to focus on boosting each other's success!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:55 AM
23

I'll never forget when a friend was dating the King of Scrotes, she was very sick for two weeks and he would still pester her for BJs. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 07:00 AM
8

She radiates such spritely queen energy!! Love
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:25 AM
13

The woman's face behind the counter says it all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:21 AM
3

You will do it this year, no doubt!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:20 AM
2

Thank you! :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 05:44 AM
19

Just downloaded the ebook! And 100% YES to an FDS book club. This sub has already introduced me to so many lifesaving books in a short amount of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 05:26 AM
2

Bullseye. Didn't even think of it this way until reading your comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 05:08 AM
3

Yes like a huge weight is lifted! The process of working on it little by little gives me more faith in myself to accomplish goals that once seemed impossible!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 04:37 AM
26

Definitely not a coincidence that the debt pileup began when i started dating a chain of broke dudes, and I paid it off after they have all been thoroughly eliminated from my atmosphere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:49 AM
3

It's really hard to shake that terrifying feeling once it shows up in a dream :( And thank goodness. BLock and delete
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:26 AM
6

Oh my gawd. Your dream was screaming at you about his true nature!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:58 AM
9

The nightmares are real! I've had a few really terrifying dreams about certain men that have shown interest, and surprise surprise, they turn out to be abusive when i see them dating other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:39 AM
5

Right, I thought it was just my own sad destiny playing out. Nope, it's nearly every man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:08 AM
2

I can't even
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:06 AM
38

Notice how he does this because he " wanted to try and show her something" about her own choices. Why Does He Do That? talks repeatedly about abusers justifying their behavior because they need to "teach her a lesson". And when she's on the couch crying, clearly distressed, he brushes it off, calling her dramatic. Pyscho. I hope she runs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 01:03 AM
5

https://discord.com/invite/5DUgNQz ​ here it is! I've never used it, how does discord work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:23 AM
13

Long distance internet book club! Also i love your username
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 11:40 PM
18

Download it here https://1lib.us/book/3605557/8119f8
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:36 PM
10

It's an act so they can get away with shit. They know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 09:57 PM
16

Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 09:44 PM
10

On today's episode of How Close Are We To Living in the Handmaid's Tale?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 09:42 PM
15

This is a huge narrative driving the legalization of SW. It has nothing to do with SWorkers, and everything to do with men that think it's a crime for them not to have sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 09:41 PM
60

It cannot be understated how harmful this is. His friends are the same way, it's completely normalized to him. Your standards are offensive to him. Ladies, if you feel like he's just using your body to masturbate with.. IT DOES NOT GET BETTER. Run, don't walk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 08:18 AM
3

He thinks he is speaking Female, is wrong on all counts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:10 AM
5

🙂 is the emoji equivalent of deafening silence
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:10 AM
3

"🙂" has me cackling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:08 AM
6

🔥 🔥 🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:06 AM
4

GIRL YOU'RE TOO PRETTY FOR THIS SH*T, SPEND THAT MONEY ON YOURSELF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:05 AM
1

An egg inside of his head... ☠️ ☠️ ☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:04 AM
18

I fucked around with poly, thinking it was the solution to my relationship problems. Nope, turns out that the issue with my relationships was dating men that brought zero benefit into my life who i did not even find attractive 🤡 🤡 So I attempted to self-brainwash by convincing myself that jealousy holding men accountable to any standards is unacceptable. Guess who got played like a fiddle???? Y'all, poly is SO MUCH drama. Bringing that many people's emotions into account is messy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 05:01 AM
1

oh my gosh i feel your happiness through the internet because it makes me happy! truly such a pleasure to read about this. how very connected you two are! if ever the chance presents itself, this absolutely inspires me to work with horses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:38 AM
18

Be very very aware of the sob stories. No, he's not opening up to you because you're so easy to talk to. No, he isn't showing softness. He knows you have a heart and wants to manipulate that at any cost
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:35 AM
64

And We Pray She Dumps Him With Haste In Jesus' Name Amen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:32 AM
17

Yup, i'm in this field and the amount of men who think a nude women instantly makes them a legitimate artist is disgusting. I love the figure, i love the nude body, but you can tangibly feel the lack of respect these scrotes have towards their subjects
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:30 AM
19

YESSS this better become the new norm!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:25 AM
1

Oh my gosh i love your description of stomping around. That is amazing that your reactions were reflected back through her reactions!! Working with horses sounds soulful indeed :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:19 AM
5

Rose quartz is a favorite of mine :) hello cute catto!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:41 AM
4

Other examples include variants of: "I don't deserve you" "Thanks for putting up with me" "You're too good for me"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:35 AM
1

Count your blessings, as a passive-aggressive person i am embarrassed to admit to how long i harbor rage
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:25 AM
1

oh my goodness last night i was googling this book!!!!! you're a godsend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:24 AM
2

I'm already trying to rationalize and explain things away, trying to "be fair" and see the other person's perspective and why I might be wrong and overreacting. Yoo this is so real. It's like the little red lightbulb of anger is flashing and we're doing everything in our power to block it out. I pray that we can let ourselves react! The stuffing it down until an explosion occurs is very real. I think I can count the explosions I've had in my adult life on two hands, and almost all of them were w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:22 AM
1

Oh my gawd fuck that saying. iF yOu doN't hAve AnyThIng nIcE to SaY...! I got that shoved down my throat too. One time I called my mom sobbing (back when I used confide in her occasionally), afraid to go home, because of someone's increasingly hostile behavior towards me. I will NEVER forget that she responded to my distress by saying "Well, I find that it's always best to help whenever you can!" I feel sorry for our moms, you know they were brainwashed to an even further degree than we were. Bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:17 AM
1

Yes anger teaches us where our boundaries are being violated, where injustice is occurring, where our safety is threatened! I love these examples of how anger has guided you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:12 AM
2

RBF is a scam, you just have a face 💓 You must have been through a lot to have to shut everything down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:11 AM
1

I can feel your power reading these words!! 💓thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:04 AM
3

Respecting ourselves sadly does not always lead to other people taking responsibility for their actions and knowing they are at fault. Well-said! The process of coming to self-respect, bringing up uncomfortable topics, takes a lot of work to get to. Reading this makes me realize that because I feel ready to talk about something, air my grievances, I automatically assume that the other person is ready to hear it and will respond accordingly. So when it goes south, it can be easy to feel shame and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:03 AM
1

She said, and I swear to God this I verbatim, “We didn’t force you to do anything”. Wow did our moms go to mom school together?? Really appreciate you writing all of this, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 03:00 AM
3

SAME. This thread is helping me respect that feeling of "WTF-ness"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:58 AM
1

I hate that we share this experience but it is so validating knowing that we share this experience, yknow?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:56 AM
2

Brilliant!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:55 AM
2

This type of conditioning really leaves us with no skills to actually handle tension! High five for working on your right to TAKE UP SPACE even if it's uncomfortable for others!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:54 AM
2

Fucking hell. They'll do anything to avoid accountability. And yes, Snapchat is forever tarnished to me now. I redownloaded it after years without, because it was the preferred method of communication with a boy that did not care if i live or die 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:51 AM
1

I'm glad you did!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:47 AM
3

Using your legitimate reactions against you.. fucked up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:46 AM
2

now we know and we shall never tolerate the fog again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:46 AM
4

THANK YOU FOR THAT COMMENT!! Game changer, you literally changed lives sharing that info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:45 AM
5

bUt yOu nEvEr aSkEd aBoUt [obfuscated information that you had no reason to ask about]
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:44 AM
3

Oh my gaad I'm in this photo and I don't like it!!! NEVAIRRR AGAIIIIN
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:43 AM
2

This community gives me hope, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:42 AM
5

Ugh the 6 month thing... nailed it on the head. Why Does He Do That? discusses how the effects of abuse on the victim are long-lasting and damaging, while the abuser pretty much skates away harm-free. Fucked up. But I am so glad you escaped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:42 AM
1

Yikes, that is very fucking weird
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:39 AM
4

Well well well, if it ain't another male avoiding accountability because the world has never asked anything else of them. Color me surprised
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:39 AM
3

I second what's been said about having a blanket ban on all "understanding" psychological explanations. BIG advocate for this now! It's crazy how much effort we put into being tolerant and being understanding, only to be completely betrayed by those same qualities. I think it's because, like honesty, we assume that our intentions of compassion are mirrored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:35 AM
3

Oh my heart goes out to both of you, good cycles and sewing machine savior. That sounds insane, literally, and tremendously taxing on your energy. From now on we only accept crystal clear intent!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:32 AM
2

Great article, thank you for sharing!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:30 AM
6

And when we eXpLaIn ourselves a million times, we're only giving them more info on how to abuse with more efficiency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:28 AM
3

Yup! Not our job to make excuses for people. So often I found myself making excuses about a manchild when talking with friends because deep down i was fucking embarrassed that i was in love with someone who was treating me like garbage. No more excuses!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:26 AM
3

Preach!!!! When we TRY to resolve things by communication, we naively assume that the other values honesty like we do, so the lies just keep steamrolling. Never again! Now we know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:24 AM
3

Damn that is so true about the little things adding up! Me and a friend were just talking about abuse aftermath and the word FOG came up a lot. But until we get real about looking at warning signs, the fog doesn't signal us to take action (aka gtfo)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:22 AM
30

This response is helpful. You helped me visualize the two sides of our brain, the conscious and the unconscious, and how the ????? is the result when both sides of the brain can't make sense of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:08 AM
52

Inconsistency sums it up well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:06 AM
7

I am loving this trend. Keep em coming
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 05:35 AM
6

It reminds me of the "not all men" commentary that we so often have to preface any critique of the patriarchy with. Women can write scathingly about how fucked up men are and still have to pepper in the "of course, there are some men that aren't total dumpster fires" just to be taken seriously
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:52 AM
7

Icky icky... my porn addict ex had such money issues despite working full time and living with enough roommates to where their rent was pretty cheap. Of course I didn't find out about the porn addiction until he sobbingly told me over the phone towards the end of the relationship, and I didn't think much about it because Porn is so normalized. But I wonder after finding FDS if he was spending all his money on cam girls 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:50 AM
8

Agreed, give yourself the credit you deserve for your critical thinking and insight. I'm so glad you're here and will join the sentiment of wishing I had FDS when i first starting dating an asshole at 16.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:42 AM
31

The music 💋chef's kiss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:30 AM
5

Takeapeachandpractice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 08:35 AM
14

He's giving the old discard.. don't wait around for his ass. NOPE! Block and delete
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 06:34 AM
6

As we join hands in our togetherly cringe-osity , let us recognize a moment of silence for the dignity we lost in Those Dark Dark Days. May we never let another sister fall
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:25 AM
35

His tiktok is like 90% about cheating. Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:19 AM
7

That was refreshing to see! Cuz you know men will actually pay attention to another man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:00 AM
10

Thanks for this good reminder. I am guilty of dating someone I did not find remotely attractive.. and yes, i chased him. Cringe with me gals. In retrospect I think part of it was my pity for him. And yup he was cheap, bad in bed, misogynistic and porn-addicted. I tried soooo much to "fix him up". Eventually I caught the ICK, and this is when his true colors started to show. Got angry at me for not wanting to have sex. NEEOOOOOPE Thank god for FDS, couldn't have found it a moment sooner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:53 AM
2

Okay we need her to do a stand-up special!! Take my money!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:03 AM
42

Yup! A shared sense of right and wrong is crucial. And an abuser continues their behavior because they can justify it to themselves. They don't consider right and wrong, just what's best for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:00 AM
33

Didn't ask to get roasted like a marshmallow but here we are
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:31 AM
14

Yes! I've got my copy right here. Here is a short passage in a longer section about dark humor. "Humor, particularly dark humor, is a common way to communicate true concern without the risk of feeling silly afterward, and without overtly showing fear. But how does this type of remark evolve? One doesn't consciously direct the mind to search all files for something funny to say. Were that the case, Bob Taylor [the case of a man who joked that a package delivered to his office building looked like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:45 AM
21

To me, it's such a primal feeling, I don't know if it could be prepared for online. But some tips: -You're picking up on cues from people all the time. The first time someone makes you feel icky, pay attention. -Pay attention to those seemingly random thoughts that pop into your head around certain people. -Watch how men observe other women. -LISTEN TO YOURSELF TALK. Even if you're just joking around with your girlfriends. Pay attention to what you are saying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:34 AM
14

That's scary asf!! Gift of Fear also talks about dark humor being a really big indicator of what our intuition picks up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:30 AM
26

fucking love this meme. she's done ✅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:28 AM
4

i love her so much
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 01:56 AM
2

Can someone post some resources like this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 01:51 AM
28

I'm reading the Gift of Fear and I love the advice about turning around and STARING BACK. On the street, on public transport, anywhere that someone tries to intimidate us. Our normal response is to keep our head down, look away, but with this action we let the predator know that you aren't gonna be threatened. Also, when i need to feel tough, I imagine my aura is full of sharp swords all pointing outwards and protecting me, and think over and over again "No one fucks with me."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 12:44 AM
31

This makes me think of a particularly nasty character that I was in proximity with via the community I was living in. Straight from the get-go I remember describing him in terms of being a predator - "I feel like a a piece of meat in his eyes". This dude would prey on vulnerable women like it was a sport. Just stare at them from a long distance while they had no idea. He lied like he breathed. Sometimes I would get so upset in his presence that I would have to leave to go cry. The eyes told it a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 12:02 AM
10

Gorgeous! Apparently FDS is full of hand models
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:56 PM
11

YUP! They tell on themselves with that "I'm scared i'm gonna screw this up", "I don't deserve you" shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:55 PM
28

Share bras 😂😂 omfg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:37 PM
52

Yessss this energy. "Damn girl you've got some beautiful eyes" "I know." Throws em off every time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:36 PM
38

Number 7 though.. icky icky
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:33 PM
6

Wtf.. she's beautiful!! This misogynist does not need a platform to air his cruelty
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:11 PM
195

Yup! No more doling out wife shit for those sad little boys! Also, I love her style
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:06 PM
2

big yup. they had their chance and they fucked it up. thank u next
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:03 PM
4

It is amazing going back and reading those past journals. Even the mundane days, it all tells so much and shows us our growth. I find that I simply cannot bs to my journal, so it helps me find my truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:02 PM
1

RUN don't WALK away from that scrote!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 11:00 PM
2

Good for you for removing that source of stress from your life! Things will start to make more sense as you process the years of that relationship. You got this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:59 PM
3

Jesus how true is that. All these subtle influences layer up and become our whole patriarchy-sculpted identity. Another day to be grateful for this life-changing community!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:56 PM
3

Oh hon that's so real. My heart to yours. I just got off the phone with a dear friend and we were talking about the aftermath of being deeply manipulated. Our stories were very different but the symptoms of confusion were identical. I said something along the lines of, "at least i see this situation for what it is now, and that feels so much better than the fog". Women have been MASSIVELY manipulated for generation after generation - it's shocking, heart-breaking, and often revolting to see what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:30 AM
3

Idk about you but it's a painful realization. Still, all the better to see things clearly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 10:02 AM
7

tragic to see forsaken oatmeal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 06:16 AM
37

Yup - dealbreaker indeed! So many instances where men show their true colors and I look back and see that instead of paying attention to the red flag, I was busy trying to cOmMunIcAte and explain to them our perspective. Painstakingly. Thinking how I'm in a position to educate, how grand that is, that finally this poor man can gain some empathy. Noooooooo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:00 AM
34

It's heartbreaking :'( I want to put more energy into arming young women with knowledge. I just want to stretch my arms around the world and give them all a big hug. Being a girl is scary and it shouldn't be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 01:54 AM
62

No wonder young women's self esteem is sabotaged deliberately. Fucking scum
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 01:40 AM
96

It's true!! This was a big red flag in retrospect with a guy i was involved with - he could not wrap his head around female-only spaces no matter how much i tried to explain it to him! 🚩 🚩 🚩We were living in a community situation, so lots of people hanging out all the time. there was a tight group of women and we'd often have "women only" hangouts - much needed, of course! I don't need to explain to anyone here why it was sacred to have that space. But he had a clear problem with it because it e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 01:37 AM
11

Just subscribed to her podcast! This is exactly what i've been looking for, thank you 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 10:44 PM
3

Dancing and yoga! Sensual dance is so good for us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 10:17 PM
73

Her voice is so gentle! 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 10:00 PM
3

👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:36 AM
9

Trash took itself out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:34 AM
4

👏👏👏here here for the slow build and protecting our selves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:33 AM
8

The perceived power dynamic explains so much. And at the same time it makes me feel like men and women are truly living in completely different worlds. I just assumed that..everyone.??? thought in terms of social cohesion, because it makes the most sense to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:32 AM
33

He states how upset his children are. This man's empathy bar is in Hell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:19 AM
7

My thought exactly while reading this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 09:15 AM
3

I first saw it on this sub but the channel 'Pop Culture Detective' on YT is amazingly insightful for the harmful misogynistic tropes repeated in the media. And refreshingly, it's a man speaking up about these things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:03 AM
1

YUP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:02 AM
16

"Don't say this in a sexual way" Thank you, Oh Wise and Rational Princes of Logique
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 12:18 AM
2

You did the right thing! I know it hurts now sweet girl. Reach out to your friends, pamper yourself, get cozy. And remember you dodged a bullet - If he reacted that badly in the beginning, things would have only gotten worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 12:14 AM
4

Now here is a list i can get behind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 12:07 AM
31

That's what I thought too! I'm like.. uhh all of these women have wonderful noses? And the larger noses really stand out to me as striking features on the face. It's amazing how we judge ourselves so harshly when we recognize the same features on others as beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 12:04 AM
9

Even if she were to "shame" him, it wouldn't do shit, it would just fuel his supply. D u m p h i m
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 12:00 AM
11

Those men simply did not deserve your precious love. Been there too with the constant forgiveness and "easygoing" attitude only to be wrecked by it. This post made me feel so warm and fuzzy though, FDS really is about women looking out for each other ❤️ So glad you are here!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 11:57 PM
65

He literally states the problem and skates right over it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 11:48 PM
50

https://www.reddit.com/r/BigNoseLadies/ ​ ^ This sub made me appreciate the elegance of noses everywhere! Always had insecurity about my own, and considered surgery from a very young age, but seeing the gorgeous noses on here gives me life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 11:35 PM
9

Amen! The amount of energy we waste trying to make our anger sound more palatable. And at the end of the day it weakens our response. No more sugar coating!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 11:28 PM
11

Bitch = mad scrote Be A Bitch Twenty Twenty One
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 11:26 PM
1

Looks like a lotus! Beautiful 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 06:09 AM
7

Muah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 06:09 AM
130

Of course! "Have you tried giving him further opportunities to manipulate you??"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 06:07 AM
306

Hate that this woman has to deal with a clearly abusive man. But props to her for this realization! I've come to expect these types of posts to end with "Am I crazy? Am I overreacting?" No, girl, Ditch his lying ass!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 03:24 AM
20

Really powerful writer, I agree! These stories are so needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:58 AM
11

Thank you for sharing your story. Wishing you the best in your rebuilding. You can do it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:54 AM
12

This has to be fake.. dear god
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:52 AM
59

#BeRuthless2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:44 AM
3

Same here, FDS was a huge wake-up call
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:46 AM
3

YOOOO i hate that shit! Used to happen at work meetings when I was working in an office with other college students - I'd say something in the group, it got lost in the chatter, and a male coworker would repeat what I just said, to be met with gales of laughter. DUmb
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:41 AM
7

No more training boyfriends! Not my job, not yours!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:35 AM
53

Stay shocked, it's great birth control
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:26 AM
52

Oh god.. a few seconds of badly done licking and then.. "my turn!!" I forgot how much that revolted me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:25 AM
10

My FDS book haul just arrived the other day! Going into the new year with more knowledge!! Remember to hit up your local bookstores ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:22 AM
15

Amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:11 AM
10

Welcome one and all!!!!! We are so glad you are here!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:11 AM
22

I, FOR ONE, WOULD VERY MUCH ENJOY TO SCARE THE FUCK OUT OF THE PATRIARCHY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 10:27 AM
22

Omg! I love a good synchronicity! Diana has come up a few times today for me! This song came on and made me think of her just recently. Great song too. So funny you mention her! How do you view her Archetype?? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YaxfLGoPuI&ab_channel=DaptoneRecords Maybe we don't all have to go become Wiccans, but we DO need to gather as women and "do our magic". Sing, dance, cry, create, pray. Ceremony is a part of our wellness. We used to bleed together and have special rituals t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 10:22 AM
38

The word 'wee wee' makes me cackle, it really does ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 09:48 AM
74

"An antique of a man" lmao! So true! Thinking back on those young years, especially after joining FDS, has me feeling so protective over my younger self. I thought I was so grown up - when i was really just a baby, and so swayed by older male attention. A story common to far too many of us. A huge answer is in women-only spaces - spaces with a diverse range of ages!! When women and can safely gather, when girls can spend time with elders, we can pass on and inherit wisdom. Armed with each other'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 09:41 AM
6

Ugh same... and it's so icky how it becomes their whole world. Nope, those genes don't need to be reproduced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 06:16 AM
3

The presence of other women makes me love being a woman even more! Men will never get to experience the magic of female friendships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 03:51 AM
5

This! ^ If women are responsible for carrying new life, we must be selective as hell! Literally the future of humanity relies on it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 03:47 AM
14

the vienna sausage when things are getting heated up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 03:21 AM
8

The music
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 03:14 AM
18

The life insurance thing happens way too often :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:47 AM
60

Don't fall into the mental trap of thinking that loving him more will make him a better partner! No no no! That man doesn't need more of your precious love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:02 AM
9

Oh isn't this the truth. The big boy words that add up to nothing. Especially true reading male-dominated threads, which is just about all of them. The conversation lacks flow, plain and simple! Which is perfect for how men tend to talk anyhow - no questions, no continuity to what was previously said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:57 PM
8

Ate the thesaurus.. too good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:52 PM
12

The grand reveal lol... Niiicooooooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 09:37 PM
2

Absolutely girl! and adornment looks good on you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:09 AM
84

If only we were visual creatures!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:06 AM
9

This sub is so good for my previous illusions of the need to get married
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 06:02 AM
65

Oh this burns. I'm still recovering from a pornsick ex who worshipped Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan - SO ORIGINAL!!1!1!! I remember getting fucking angry the the first time he played a JP interview, denouncing feminism, while we were chilling at my apartment. I tried cOmmUnicaTing with LOgIc how it was not cool. Slowly over the course of this relationship I began to doubt my own values, feminism, my own views. And yes, this was the type of idiot who would use the "but what about the good guys?!!…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:54 AM
173

Dunno about you but I'm sitting here wishing my dad would have exerted even the smallest iota of effort in teaching me my worth.. Thank you to this dad on behalf of daughters~!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 05:43 AM
5

Lol, the broke musicians .. been there. No thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 02:11 AM
16

I've always been pretty tight-lipped about my love life, not knowing I was too embarrassed to talk about how unhappy i was. Men ain't shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 01:49 AM
5

Gorgeous! And you have beautiful hands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 01:37 AM
12

Thanks for writing this out, such a healing post. I have struggled with anger too and shoved it down time after time. My upbringing supported the "always be helpful and do not speak about what is angering you" attitude, and it's so hard to shake it. The spiritual process has been my rock for years but due to my own low self-worth I've not allowed righteous anger into my spiritual process. Let's be real, sometimes we just want to wave a giant banner in the streets that says "Off with their dicks!…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 01:30 AM
35

When I was mad at someone, I tried to find where I made a mistake instead. Wow didn't realize this was something others did as well. Thanks for pointing this out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 12:39 AM
7

How was your experience with EMDR? I've heard it's intense but powerful - wondering if it's something I should seek out for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 12:36 AM
8

This explains so much of my family, my goodness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 12:34 AM
11

This is the mindset I'm trying to cultivate!! 💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 12:32 AM
16

If I could time travel back and tell this to my younger self!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:04 AM
35

Sounds like you already got it figured out. Don't waste your precious minutes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 02:03 AM
15

They really are all the same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 11:54 PM
8

Love it! It's those little details that show the effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 10:03 PM
9

I'd love some recommendations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 09:52 PM
48

How wonderful 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 09:37 PM
21

I always use that phrase when describing "conversations" that happen with men at customer service jobs especially. "He talked at me for like 20 minutes"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 09:36 PM
26

Yikes this gives me chills
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 09:31 PM
68

Oh gosh don't buy the the personal stories that tug on your heart strings. "I don't know why I'm telling you this, I normally wouldn't tell anyone this.." It's a trap! Run! They know we actually give a fuck about people and use our empathy against us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 09:29 PM
340

"You're so easy to talk to!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 07:26 AM
23

JFC. If real, I'm glad she left him and his shitty family that day. Hope she takes it the extra mile and dumps his ass. Absolutely appalling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 04:51 AM
7

Yess and tell your ladies! I can't think of a single friend who hasn't had her time wasted by a dumbfuck male. I want all women to have access to the FDS mindset
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:08 AM
20

Barf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 05:50 AM
29

To the curb with them! Do not pass go, do not collect $200!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 05:49 AM
180

All of this!!!! My porn addict ex couldn't kiss at all, super out of shape, got frustrated that he had to do "all of the work" before sex, aka no foreplay. Could only finish by jackhammering. Gross. Gross. Gross. I felt like an object he was using to masturbate with. There were countless other red flags but it was the bad kissing thing that bothered me every single day. I wondered "how can i teach this man how to kiss me properly?" What a waste!!!! Never again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 08:22 AM
31

FDS dumped a bucket of cold water on my perception of men, best thing ever. Can't believe how brainwashed we are into valuing men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 09:38 AM
20

Same. Never again 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 05:34 AM
23

So many women, before being killed by their partners, let people know that they suspected he would kill them! Ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 05:34 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter