Bi & wlw gals, how have your experiences compared in hetero dating versus wlw?

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-09-29T21:54:13+00:00

I’ve never felt unsafe, pressured, or intimidated by a woman.

Now women can absolutely still show LV behaviors and be a bad choice for a partner, (vetting still required!) but often how these behaviors and situations manifest with women is far less risky and dangerous to your well being.

I’ve left every relationship with a woman sad, but appreciative for our time together. I can’t say the same for the relationships with men I’ve had.

catastrophejr · 2021-09-29T23:14:07+00:00

If you sleep with a man on the first date, he'll never call you again. If you sleep with another woman on the first date, she'll love you forever. (kind of joking but not really haha)

Also, women are an almost guaranteed orgasm. Men...not so much.

CNhuman · 2021-09-30T00:50:10+00:00

I've been trying to figure out what parts of the handbook apply to dating women. The power imbalance is far less severe, and the pay gap is more of a class gap.

One of the hardest things for me has been finding women to date in the wild. I'm thinking about getting on a dating app (either ok Cupid or her) just to boost my chances of finding women who are same sex attracted.

throwaway04357 · 2021-09-29T20:06:50+00:00

I'm bi and have had serious relationships with both men and women. One huge difference I've noticed between the two is their reactions to you paying attention to the things they say and do.

Women are so appreciative when you remember something they mentioned briefly in a past conversation, no matter how small of a detail it was.

Men get angry and defensive. Of course this is because I've always caught them in a lie. ALL the men I have dated I have caught in a lie and that includes small ones but still.. Like yes I'm going to bring up how you told me you hated camping when you start telling me about some boys fishing trip you're going on.. Some will play it off like what they said wasn't such a big deal, they don't hate it THAT much.. But then why did you say that you hated it in the first place? Some play mind games and will argue with you by saying they didn't say that! They'd never say that! You're making shit up.. Then when pressed about it further it turns into 'why are you making such a big deal out of this?! Do you not want me to go camping with my friends?? Do you not want me to have FRIENDS?!??' just trying to turn you into the bad guy by blaming you for remembering what they said.

RecentSprinkles5997 · 2021-09-30T02:32:22+00:00

I’m biased as I’m not attracted to men but I used to date them before I figured that out -they are more sexually forward/pushy - they talked over me more -projected their idea of the ideal partner onto me /thought they could mold me into that (not a thing with women thus far ) - were less interested in emotional commitment -only men attempted to neg me , insult my hobbies or get weirdly competitive in conversations

That said wlw dating isn’t a paradise . A lot of the same things in my experience straight women complain about happen to me all the time and I’ve met many toxic couples and puckmishas .

I think lack of commitment, effort or manners and mass porn consumption effects all dating circles .

I’ve been on many many dates where it turned out the girl was not really single. Many low effort dates if you can call them that . I’ve been dates with many women who believe sex work and porn are empowering and if you think otherwise your a bigot . I’ve met butch women who are into toxic masculinity and almost as bad as scrotes and queer pickmieshas .

I use FDS because besides not using OLD (hard to meet gay ppl Irl) every single other thing is applicable to my dating life . I had allowed women to treat me with disrespect in the past and seriously needed guidance . High standards and self worth are things every woman needs to have regardless of who they date.

thisissomeshitman · 2021-09-30T07:55:50+00:00

My life is infinitely better with my HV girlfriend. She makes me breakfast every morning, we buy eachother gifts (sometimes the same ones at the same time on accident lol), i always am excited to get home and try to make dinner or make it cozy (i’m home first), and the days that she gets home first (at least once a week) i’m treated to dinner and a special date activity at home or out that evening. even just sitting together watching a movie feels cozy and loving without expectations or weird vibes. i feel like i hit the jackpot tbh

gingerandlime · 2021-09-29T20:30:59+00:00

Frankly, I’ve experienced low effort and manipulative behavior from women I’ve been involved with. Creating forced intimacy by talking about sex too early, changing their minds about “being friends” because they decided they wanted to sleep with me after all, being upset when I wasn’t completely focused on them after one date… the whole range of things. I genuinely wish my experiences dating women were more positive than those I’ve had dating men, but that hasn’t been my experience as a bi woman.

If anything (I know this runs counter to many women’s experiences, so I want to be clear that I validate their experiences, this is just what has happened in my life), I’ve found that many men I’ve dated at least had learned how to have a veneer of not pushing for sex. Women who’ve been interested in me have not seemed to have any idea that their attention and pressure could be unwelcome. It was as though I was the first person to ever tell them no.

Aloe_You_Vera_Much · 2021-09-29T22:51:21+00:00

The main thing I’ve noticed is the difference in respecting boundaries. With women, I will tell them a boundary once and they will remember it forever. But when I’m with a man, even a “good man” (as other people called them) needs a ridiculous amount of reminders. To the point that I’ve had to break it off with a man with the main reason being crossing my boundaries.

However, there’s a larger problem in both women and men that I keep running into, regarding porn consumption and views on sex work. I always expected more women might have a similar view to me in regards to sex work and porn, considering how it’s so detrimental and abusive towards women. And yet all of them have been stuck in the lib fem mindset that it’s “liberating”.

It’s still a problem in men, but it just surprised me that so many women would be supportive of abuse towards women.

kerean1997 · 2021-09-30T11:08:11+00:00

I feel safer with women, but LVW exist, so be careful. I've met women who tried to pressure me, manipulated me, even cheated on me. Keep vetting, even if it's a woman.

Coco_spacecat · 2021-09-29T20:28:38+00:00

The biggest difference I feel when I date women is that I feel like I’m an equal, I don’t have to analyze or plan every move I make with them because I know how they think, I know I can go all in because I know if they’re really attracted to me and they’re not just looking to sleep with me. I’m not thinking all the time “what if I’m going too fast” “what if she thinks I’m easy” “what if she’s just using me” because those things don’t really apply in same sex relationships. I’m not saying they don’t happen, but it’s way less often because society doesn’t have that big of a role in same sex relationships, whereas if I’m dating men, I feel like I even need to have the approval of my friends, if he’s cute, if he provides for me, and other things. But I still date men because I still like the variety of energies in the relationship. If I date a woman we both have similar feminine energies, but when I’m with men it’s an opposite energy, and if he’s healthy I like that we’re opposite.

oachkatzlschwoaf95 · 2021-10-07T03:27:06+00:00

Never ever ever has a woman in a dating situation done anything to me without consent. Or degraded me or put me in physical danger.

Also if I remember correctly on dates with women we always fought over the bill a bit or treated each other (one gets lunch, the other ice cream etc). I've never felt used by women. Sure, a lot or even most dates didn't lead to a second but it was always respectful. Either they liked me and we wanted to get to know each other further or we didn't. No getting strung along for eventual sex in the future. Dates feel like getting to know each other, not a mission to get me naked. Even ghosting is kind of rare, don't think it ever happened for me after a in person meetup.

Title	Bi & wlw gals, how have your experiences compared in hetero dating versus wlw?
Author	Fun_Sherbet
Upvotes	131
Comments	26
Date	September 29, 2021 6:45 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/py1v80/bi_wlw_gals_how_have_your_experiences_compared_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/bi-wlw-gals-how-have-your-experiences-compared-in.1073521 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073521

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