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Going Through A REAL BAD Trauma Bonded Separation And This Article Helped TONS, I Hope It Helps Whomever Needs It As Well

Twolipz_78

December 28, 2020
91 upvotes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

https://psychcentral.com/blog/permission-to-thrive/2020/02/the-7-answers-i-desperately-needed-after-the-narcissistic-discard

Archived from /r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Post Information
Title Going Through A REAL BAD Trauma Bonded Separation And This Article Helped TONS, I Hope It Helps Whomever Needs It As Well
Author

Twolipz_78

Upvotes 91
Comments 13
Date December 28, 2020 2:43 PM UTC
(5 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/klrqy5/going_through_a_real_bad_trauma_bonded_separation/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/going-through-a-real-bad-trauma-bonded-separation.354614
https://theredarchive.com/post/354614
Red Pill terms in post
narcissism
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Comments

[–]GourmayFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I have been with several narcissists, then did therapy and read several books on the topic. This is the best summary I’ve read, and features many things exactly how my therapist described them. Thanks for posting!

[–]CognitivedecadencePickmeisha™️2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you mind sharing some of the book recommendations?

[–]GourmayFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Unfortunately they’re in French and haven’t been translated sorry! The author is Christel Petitcollin for anyone who speaks French, she has made several and they are very good and to the point.

[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, I needed to read this. My narc-spectrum ex has started the holiday hoover and all of these reminders are good ones!

[–]MadholleyFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

This was incredible. I didn’t realize my ex did all these things until I saw them. I hope your No Contact goes well and safe and that you are rebuilding self love!

[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, yeah, he drove by my work just to stare at me again but doesn’t have the balls to get out and talk to me. I’m struggling real bad with it, I am seriously considering filing a restraining order against him so I can entertain the fantasy of him being dead. I can’t tell if him pulling this shit is because he really misses me and is just too scared/ashamed to get out and talk to me or if he really is just fucking with me even more! It’s a mind fuck that I don’t have the time or energy for. Even if he did miss me and was trying to coerce me into communication with him, the only thing I’d tell him is that I’m filing a restraining order and I don’t want to be with a NVM, anyway. I don’t care how much money he throws at me and the sweet talk!

[–]MadholleyFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Hey- checking on you. How’s it going? Is he gone for good- I hope??

[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

We talked for the first time in 9 months when he came by to watch me at work again. We had our exchanges, civil enough. At first he was testing me to see if I would continue with his BS but he saw I wouldn’t play his games anymore. Then he tried to flip it like he was just trying to get closure.

I think he understands that I cannot be in any kind of relationship with him anymore but if he stays away from me is a whole different thing. I’m still pretty janked up about it all and trying my damndest to break the hold he has on me mentally and fight the urge to seek external validation with another.

This sub has helped me tremendously and I appreciate so much you checking up on me, it means a whole lot!

[–]MadholleyFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve been there. I’m sorry he keeps showing up. I am so proud of you for holding the line, enforcing your boundaries, and focusing on you. Breaking the hold is like breaking any addiction. It’s messy and painful but so worth it. You can do this!!!

[–]TafahaDeTerreFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Really needed this, thank you!

[–]CognitivedecadencePickmeisha™️1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh man where was this when I needed it more?! Thanks for sharing!

[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Np! I was so happy when I found it myself today.

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