What is being high value? What can expect from ourselves and our partners? Here's my list:

1. Self-Awareness

Leveling up seems different for different people and to know your way you must know yourself. Here are some topics and questions which have helped my journey.

  1. Solid, whole, updated sense of self. Who am I right now? How I am doing? How do I spend my time? How do I feel? Be honest. Don't think what you should be (by whom?) or what you want to be (we'll come to that later). Be brutally honest. (If you become angry for yourself, use that anger for a positive change.)
  2. Body awareness, being mentally connected to your body. How is my body doing? How do I feel in it. What does it need? Do I need something right now (water, food?). Do I listen to my body? If not, why? How could I do better for my body?
  3. Knowing your personal and family history, not being victimized by it. Where do I come from? How has my life changed? How have I changed? How do I use my history as a wise guide and not fall a victim of it?

  4. Understanding your needs and wants and the difference between them. You must fulfill your needs, you can postpone your wants. So: What do I need? Which are my basic physical, emotional, financial etc. needs, things I just can't do without? Is some of my needs unfulfilled now? Why? How could I fill it? / What do I want? Why? Where do these wants come from? Are they in line with my needs? Are they good for me? What would I need to do to get them?

    2. Awareness of the Environment

Why is it important to be self-aware first? Because your awareness of your environment is based on you: what you need, what you want, what you see important. That's true no matter how self-aware you are. If you're not, your environment guides you and it can lead somewhere which is not good for you.

So what does it mean to be aware of your environment?

  1. General cleanness and organization of your stuff. You know what you own and where to find it. You take good care of your material things.
  2. Awareness of time: you know when something is going to happen, you're in time. So basically: use calendar and clock.
  3. Awareness of your tasks and duties, so a good to-do list.
  4. Awareness of other people. How do they behave (towards you and others)? What do you have in common? Who can you trust and who can't? Who do you want to be more close? What's going on in their life? Who to avoid?
  5. General social surroundings. What's (sub)culturally accepted and what's not? How to behave in different situations?
  6. Awareness of the world. What's going on in the world? What I'm interested in? What do I need to know? Do I get a good view on things? What I don't (yet) know?

And, of course, the big question behind all of these: how the environment helps me to fulfill my needs and wants?

3. Self-Reliance

I think a major part of being HV is being self-reliant. It doesn't mean that you have to do everything by yourself, using your environment as a resource is okay, but don't rely on too much of things outside of your control. Instead aim for having control over fulfilling your personal needs even in situations when other people don't act on our favor.

Some examples (all of these should have their own topics and strategies):

  1. Emotional self-reliance. You know how to soothe yourself, how to de-stress in a healthy way and how to bring joy and happiness into your life.
  2. Physical self-reliance. This is tricky if you're sick or need assistance. Generally: you know how to cook and clean, how to take care of your body and your clothes etc.
  3. Financial self-reliance. You have savings so you can move out of a bad relationship if needs to or if you lose your job, you're not in trouble while looking for another. Your skills and your network are part of your financial self-reliance, you know what you can, how to find a job etc.